Diversus Vicis
by Semper Fideltias
Summary: She was asked to change what WAS, but what happens when that changes what IS? For her it was yesterday but for Severus, has it simply been too long? SS/HG Time-Travel Romance...COMPLETE
1. Mission Impossible?

**Chapter One: Mission Impossible?**

"You asked to see me Professor?" asked Hermione coyly as she stepped into the Headmaster's circular office and glanced around anxiously.

"Ah Miss Granger, prompt as ever I see," returned the Headmaster with twinkling eyes as he gestured for his seventh year student to sit.

Hermione took the emerald green and leather clad seat opposite Dumbledore, and waited politely for him to begin after rejecting his offer of a lemon sherbet with a smile.

"I suppose you've got lots of things to be getting on with Miss Granger, so I shall be as concise as possible and get on with the reasoning behind your invition here this evening immediately." He paused and smiled at the young witch opposite him before he continued.

"As you know Miss Granger, the cause of this war is a strange one whereby any slight alteration of what was, would and could have changed the out come of future events."

Hermione nodded in agreement even though the Headmaster's words were as puzzling as ever; he almost seldom laid his words out plainly and he _always_ added some sort riddle to his speech. Those who knew him simply understood this as _'Dumbledore's way.'_

"As such, if it became possible for one to travel back in time and alter the past ever so slightly," he continued, his blue eyes illuminating as he watched Hermione mull this statement over in her mind, "the state of our future would be altered dramatically,"

"An intriguing thought Professor," replied Hermione thoughtfully at his pause, "but to change the state of current affairs, one would have to travel back almost twenty years and to the first reign of Voldemort."

"_Exactly_twenty years, Miss Granger," corrected Dumbledore with an omniscient smile.

"But there is no plausible way of travelling back that far in the future," argued Hermione, who was slightly baffled that Dumbledore was suggesting something which was so evidently impossible. "Time turners are the only means of time travel and even they have their limits of a month at most."

"Technology can be advanced Miss Granger and I'm sure your friends could support this little theory of mine by using their Quidditch brooms as examples. Each year a Quidditch fanatic who desires desperately for their respected team to be winners of the British Championship, designs a faster, more durable broomstick, and provides their team with their new-fangled technology for a small fee."

"I don't wish to sound impertinent sir, but Broomsticks are one thing and Time Turners are on a whole different level of complexity. For a technological advance to be made in time travel, it would take years of research and the most intelligent witch or wizard of the age to develop it."

As she finished her small rant, realisation hit and she eyed Dumbledore – _the most intelligent wizard of the age_ - with intrigue as her face lit with excitement.

"You haven't?" she asked quietly, barely able to contain her exhilaration as the Headmaster reached into the depth of his robes and pulled out a silver and gold time turner which sat at the apex of a silver chain.

"Oh yes I have, Miss Granger," he answered with a broad smile.

He passed the object over to Hermione and watched as she carefully examined it. To the naked eye, the object looked like as any ordinary time turner would and one similar to that she had used before. But the young witch's curious brain told her that she potentialy held the key to the end of the war in her very hands.

"W…why have you told me about this sir," asked Hermione after a moment of scrutiny. "I mean shouldn't you be telling Harry, or somebody who can actually defeat Voldemort."

To Hermione's surprise, Dumbledore laughed in reply. "Oh Miss Granger," he chortled as though she had just told him that Professor McGonagall was pole dancing in the hall during dinner, "I assure you that the mission I have planned, will only be able to succeed if it is _you_ who agrees to participate."

"What will I have to do though Sir? How can I help?" she asked, eager as ever to comply.

Dumbledore mulled over the words in his mind as he sucked on a sherbet lemon, before actually letting the words of his answer escape his lips.

"You will be travelling twenty years into the past, to a time when the Marauders were in their final year at Hogwarts," he informed.

Hermione beamed at the thought of meeting Harry's parents and a young Remus Lupin, but her thoughts were swiftly interrupted as the Headmaster continued.

"You will not be able to enlighten anybody as to who you truly are or similarly where you come from, and you will be required to live life as normally would, except for the fact that you are in a different time and with different acquaintances."

"But what will I have to do?" she asked once more, thinking that the Headmaster had deliberately ignored her question.

"It would be wise for me not to bombard you with information just yet. I think it would be pre-eminent if you left this evening with the small amount information I have given you, and decide whether you want to accept this mission. Sleep on it, and if you decide that you accept, then we will begin tomorrow evening."

"But Sir, its Christmas Eve tomorrow," she informed the Headmaster. "Surely it can wait."

"Christmas will be here for you when you return Miss Granger," reassured the Headmaster as he stood to see the Hermione out. "Time will seemingly stand still and pause whilst you are away, so nobody will even notice you have gone."

"Can I tell Ron and Harry?" she asked as she crossed the threshold of the office and stepped out into the hallway.

"I would prefer it if you didn't," was all Dumbledore replied, before he returned back to his office, humming a Christmas carol which Hermione recognised as "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer."

* * *

Hermione arrived back at the Gryffindor common room an hour after her meeting with Dumbledore had ended and after a long walk in the grounds to clear her head. She was delighted that the Headmaster had asked her to be the one to travel back in time but still she couldn't shake that nagging feeling of intrigue as to why she was asked and not Harry. What made her so special?

"Hey 'Mione!" beamed Ron who was sat beside the fire wrapping Christmas presents as she returned back to Gryffindor Tower. "You were gone ages, what did Dumbledore want?"

"He just wanted to discuss my request for extra classes," she lied in reply as she sunk into an armchair opposite Ron and Harry, the latter tucking greedily into a bowl of chestnuts.

"Geesh 'Mione," said Harry with his mouth full of food, "don't you have enough on your plate without extra classes?"

"Yeah you're probably right," conceded Hermione before she began to ask her friend a question that had been captivating her since she had left the Headmaster…

"Did Remus ever mention someone called Hermione who he used to know during his time at Hogwarts?" she asked, trying her best to sound casual.

Harry eyed her questioningly. "Vaguely," he replied. "Why?"

"Oh erm, I saw her name written on an old textbook a couple of weeks ago and I was just wondering."

"It's strange you should mention that actually," elaborated Harry who looked a little lost in thought. "Remus mentioned her once and I thought it was a bit odd that Mum and Dad used to be friends with a girl called Hermione and that I am too. Well its not like it's a popular name is it?" added Harry at Ron's incredulous look. "But when I asked about her further," he continued with a frown, "Remus immediately changed the subject as though it was a touchy issue."

"In what way did he mention her?" asked Hermione who was now hooked on this train of conversation.

"Well the name came up when I visited him after those bloody awful Occulemcy lessons with the great greasy git of the dungeons. Remember I told you that I somehow reversed the spell and I saw Snape's memories instead of him seeing mine?" he asked and Hermoine and Ron nodded for him to continue. "Well I sort of saw that Hermione girl in his memories. It was strange though," he added more quietly, "because she seemed to be friends with Snape** and** the Marauders, but whenever she appeared her face was all blurry so I couldn't see her properly, and her voice was distorted. It was although, she was there, but she wasn't."

Ron frowned at Harry's seemingly paradoxical words but Hermione's heart raced as she realised exactly why the Hermione in the memories of Snape and the Marauders were blurred.

"Are you alright 'Mione, you seem a little pale?" asked Harry.

"She's probably digested too much information from the library," teased Ron who was snarled by Harry for his interruption almost immediately.

"Actually Ronald," reprimanded Hermione, "I'm fine. Just a little tired."

"Well you get yourself of to bed 'Mione," instructed Harry as he helped her up and out of the armchair of which she was sunken into. "Its Christmas Eve tomorrow and I'm sure you'll need all the energy you can muster wrapping my hundreds of presents."

"Yeah right," replied Hermione with a giggle. "What could I possibly buy the boy who has everything?"

"The end of this war?" answered Harry regretfully with a solemn smile.

"I'll see what I can do," she smiled as she headed up to bed, with the knowledge that maybe, just maybe, she could grant Harry Potter, the-boy-who-had-everything, his Christmas wish.

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**A.N:** I hope you all enjoyed this first chapter...if you did let me know and review :D

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	2. Through Time and Change

**Chapter Two: Through Time and Change**

Hermione returned to the Headmaster early on Christmas Eve as prepared as she could ever be for the events that lay ahead of her. It wasn't a difficult decision to make; when Dumbledore had asked her to decide if she would accept his mission, for his words of encouragement and his instruction that she was the only one able to complete the task, meant to her, that she had no other option but to say yes.

"Good morning Miss Granger," beamed Albus Dumbledore as Hermione stepped into his office. "I wasn't expecting you this early," he said with a brief gesture towards his steaming morning cup of tea which he held comfortably in his hands.

"I can always come back later Sir," she replied as she stepped backwards towards the door.

"No, no, Miss Granger, your early appearance represents your eagerness, and for that I am delighted."

"Oh good," smiled Hermione as she took up the same seat opposite Dumbledore that she had the previous evening.

"I trust that you are agreeing to participate in the task I have planned?" he asked.

"Yes, of course I'll do it," she replied with enthusiastic vigour. "Who else will ever get the chance to travel back in time by such a large amount of years?"

"I see you have a first-class outlook on the situation as ever Miss Granger," beamed Albus. "But I must iterate the importance of this mission's success."

"Of course, sir…but I still don't fully understand what it is I am required to do."

"It is simple really," answered Dumbledore his twinkling blue eyes seemingly to boring into Hermione's. "You must follow your heart whilst you are in the past, and block out your brain's protests to any event that may occur. Logic is not required for this mission Miss Granger, but your heart most definitely is. It is_ because_ you are unaware of what you have to do, that you will not openly seek certain requirements for success. To put it quite simply, I need fate and what is in here," he said as he brought his hand to his chest in a clenched fist, "to guide and assist you to achievement."

"So I'm not to use my head?" she asked in puzzlement.

"No, only your heart."

"Right," said Hermione, looking rather baffled at this explanation.

"Do not look so perplexed Hermione," chortled Dumbledore, "all will become clear when you return to us."

"Is there anything else I should be aware of before I leave sir?" asked Hermione, and once again Dumbledore smiled.

"You must return here two months after you arrive in the past, which will be Christmas Eve.

Despite of what relationships you form whilst you are there, no matter how happy you are in the past, you must leave when Christmas Eve arrives and my younger self calls you to my office. You must not tell anybody that you are leaving, and I now must reiterate once more, the importance of them never knowing who you are in the first place."

"I understand Professor," answered Hermione acutely.

"I hope you do Miss Granger, for failure is not an option."

Hermione gulped at the Headmaster's unusual austerity.

"Now," continued Dumbledore more characteristically as he passed the time turner which lay on his desk over to Hermione. "With each anti-clockwise turn of this time turner, you will be transported a year into the past. This is reversed with each clockwise turn," he added. "As such, you will need to make twenty turns anti-clockwise to visit the past and twenty clockwise to return to us."

Dumbledore reached into his pocket as Hermione made the first anti-clockwise turn, and pulled out a sealed envelope. "Give this to my younger self when you arrive in the past and he will answer any questions you may have. Good luck Miss Granger," he said on the nineteenth turn, "and follow your heart!"

Just as Dumbledore's words hit her ears, he vanished from sight. When she opened her eyes after blinking she was stood before the very same Albus Dumbledore, but twenty years younger.

"Professor Dumbledore sir," began Hermione shyly at Dumbledore's befuddled look, as she seeming appeared out of thin air. "This is for you."

Hermione promptly handed over the letter which the future Dumbledore had given her, and watched nervously as the younger man read over it. As the letter drew to a close, the Headmaster's expression malformed from confusion, to amazement and finally elation.

"Welcome to Hogwarts Miss Granger," beamed the younger Dumbledore, who gestured, as his older self usually did, to the leather chair before his desk where Hermione soon sat.

The chair, Hermione noticed, looked brand new and nothing like the rather worn looking one that she was used to sitting on in her time. As she let her eyes examine the room and its possessions, Hermione noticed that this comparison of old and new fitted almost everything. The circular office was far less cluttered than it was in the future and Hermione put this down to Dumbledore's tendency to accumulate all sorts of odd items over the years. Obviously his habit had not yet spiralled out of control!

As her eyes fell upon the Dumbledore before her, she noticed that even he was looking much less worn. His beard had yet to turn fully white and still held a subtle tone of ginger, and his face was far less creased than she was used to.

"Am I that different to the Dumbledore you know?" asked the Headmaster as he took note of Hermione observing him.

"Oh I'm terribly sorry if I was staring," said Hermione quickly, "it's just so peculiar to be here."

"I can assure you that I was as startled as you, but my future self's letter has put my confusion to bay. Well," he added humorously, "to a certain extent anyhow."

"He's a great man," said Hermione with a smile. "I mean,_ you're_ a great man…oh, I'm confused already!" she supplemented with a frown.

Albus Dumbledore chuckled heartily. "The letter which you have kindly passed onto me outlines what I am to do and similarly your plan of action."

"If you can call it that," muttered Hermione.

"I believe that my elder self would not have concealed information with regard to your mission if it wasn't prudent to do so, Miss Granger," informed Dumbledore as he stroked his greyish ginger beard thoughtfully. "From what it says, it seems that he, or rather_ I_, am a big aficionado of yours."

"I know he wouldn't, but I can't help feeling a little disheartened that I don't know exactly what to do," replied Hermione who was speaking with regard to his first statement rather than the latter.

"One can only imagine how you feel Miss Granger. But," he sustained with a sigh, "we all face daunting tasks at some point in our lives and we just have to perform them to the best of our ability."

"I know and I'm ready for it," said Hermione determinedly. "Just a little apprehensive."

"The letter does say that you'd react with as much determination to succeed as you have already shown. Anyway Miss Granger, let us move swiftly on, for time is unfortunately not on our side. I am sure that you are aware of the rules that have been placed upon you."

"Yes Sir," replied Hermione. "I must follow my heart not my head, I must not tell anybody who I am or where I come from, and I must leave on Christmas Eve, which is in two months time, regardless of what friends I make and how happy I am here."

"And you will come to my office when I call you on Christmas Eve," added Dumbledore, "without telling anybody that you are leaving."

"How could I forget?" countered Hermione solemnly.

"Your efforts will prove priceless, Miss Granger, according to the words of my future self, and for that we are all indebted."

"I'm just happy to help," said Hermione with a broad smile. "Harry's always the one-"

Dumbledore cut Hermione of with a wave of the hand. "I don't think it is wise for you to mention the future or anybody in it," he said seriously.

"Of course, that was stupid of me," she said apologetically.

To Hermione's surprise Dumbledore did not disagree but instead continued swiftly.

"Now, as for the arrangements whilst you are staying here you will be placed into Gryffindor house of course and the seventh year. You will be appointed Head Girl so that you have your own rooms and are away from an excessive amount of prying eyes."

"Won't the current Head Girl mind?" she asked, not wanting to tread on anybody's toes so early in her _new _school.

"Unfortunately Miss Voxwell, the Ravenclaw Girl whom I selected Head Girl at the start of the year, was murdered by Death Eaters some two weeks ago, so the post remains, _somewhat open_."

"That's awful," exclaimed Hermione with teary eyes and with an underlying concern for the younger Dumbledore's unusual lack of compassion.

"Indeed," replied Dumbledore mournfully, but still less so than Hermione would expect. "She was an excellent student and a fantastic young woman."

"It's for reason's like that I'm going to help destroy Voldemort once and for all," said Hermione fiercely, who then blushed as an immediate result of her impulsive outburst.

Dumbledore smiled once more at her fortitude, briefly flashing his top row of flawless white teeth as he did so, but soon returned to the matter at hand in customary Dumbledore fashion. "Professor McGonagall will be arriving shortly to escort you to your rooms and to introduce you to the Head Boy," he informed astutely. "You will have an hour to unpack your things and settle in to your quarters, and then the Deputy Headmistress will return to introduce you to Gryffindor house as a whole."

"What shall I tell her about where I come from?" asked Hermione, who was not sure if the younger Professor McGonagall's position within both the Order and Hogwarts was as strong as the elders.

"Fawkes has already forwarded the letter which explains the situation to her, so she fully understands the circumstances and what is required of her. If you should have any queries or concerns during your stay here, you have permission to express them to either her or myself."

"Yes sir," answered Hermione with a nod. She couldn't help but notice how much more direct the younger Dumbledore was than the elder, and inwardly questioned whether this was preferred as the Headmaster she was used to, _did_ tend to beat around the bush at times.

"One more thing Miss Granger, from now on, and during your stay with us, you will be known as Hermione May."

"Hermione May," mused Hermione intently. "I like it!"

"I'm glad to hear it," beamed Dumbledore, "because I'm afraid you have no choice on the matter."

A short moment later, Professor McGonagall entered the Headmaster's office and greeted Hermione with a broad smile.

"So you are the young lady who is visiting us from foreign lands," she said with a rich Scottish accent. "Tell me," she continued, "do I look as good in my old age as I do now, or do I look like the dried up old prune I fear?"

Hermione giggled at McGonagall's concern but answered as honestly as she could. "You look fantastic actually. You always do."

"Oh Albus I love her already!" beamed McGonagall as she pulled Hermione into a hug and showed none of the severity that the younger witch was used to. Clearly, personalities did alter with age.

"Minerva, when you have finished manhandling our guest, could you please escort her to her new rooms and introduce her to the Head Boy."

"Yes of course Albus," replied McGonagall, who nodded goodbye to the Headmaster and shortly led Hermione out of the wizard's office.

On the way up to the Head Girl and Boy's tower, Hermione was bombarded by questions and conversation by her head of house. It was strange for Hermione to talk to McGonagall in such a friendly manner as the elder witch was usually so reserved and seldom indulged in what one may call fruitless conversation.

"Here we are," said McGonagall contentedly as they reached the base of the tower, cutting off Hermione's explanation of the Holyhead Harpies future successes. "Your new home for the foreseeable future. I must pre-warn you," continued McGonagall in more serious tone, "the Head Boy will take some getting used to, and it would not bode well to expect a warm welcome from him. He's a Slytherin you see," added the Deputy Headmistress light-heartedly.

"Typical," huffed Hermione humorously in return.

Soon McGonagall was leading Hermione up a spiralling stair case and through a portrait which opened out into a large, warmly decorated sitting room.

"This is the common room which you will be sharing with the Head Boy," she explained as Hermione surveyed the unfamiliar surroundings with intrigue. "Your bedroom is to the left at the top of them stairs," she said gesturing towards a large spiral staircase which sat boldly in the centre of the wall opposite, "and your bathroom to the right. Oh and if anybody asks, you used to attend a private school, but circumstance means that you have had to join Hogwarts for your final year of compulsory education."

Hermione nodded in acknowledgement but was otherwise distracted as she looked around in search for another staircase. "Then where are the Head Boy's bedroom and bathroom?" she asked, seemingly ignoring the deputy headmistress's last instruction.

McGonagall regarded Hermione with a humorous expression before answering her question with a smile. "His bedroom is to the left," she said, once more pointing to the same staircase as before, "and his bathroom to the right."

Realisation hit Hermione square in the chest and with a hefty thud. "You mean we _share_?"

"Is that not the case in the Hogwarts you know?" asked McGonagall, who looked almost as confused as Hermione.

"Well no," explained Hermione, "everything is segregated other than the common room."

"Oh how times change," sighed McGonagall solemnly. "You see in our day, we trust the Head Boy and Head Girl to respect our trust, and therefore not get up to any _hanky panky_."

Hermione giggled despite herself and the Deputy Headmistress looked baffled once more at her outburst.

After a moment or two of hysterical laughter, Hermione's giggles suddenly caught in her throat as she caught sight of the figure that was bounding with large, familiar strides, down the spiral staircase which she now knew led to her new bedroom.

"Ah Severus," began McGonagall as the young, tall, dark haired wizard approached, "I'd like you to meet out new student and Head Girl, Miss Hermione May."

"Severus Snape," greeted the young boy lazily and without any sort of warm welcome at all.

Hermione's voice failed her as she opened her mouth to reply. It was a petrifying sight to see Professor Snape as a young man, and to hear his familiar, deep, silky voice coming out of such a young wizard. As she stood there observing him in astonishment, she couldn't help but notice how unconventionally handsome he was as a seventeen year old. His hair was the same as she knew it was like as an adult, except far less greasy and it fell in a way that framed his well defined face, rather than hide it like she was used to.

"Nice to meet you," said Hermione unsurely after a moment of awkward silence.

"Severus is a budding Potion Brewer, Miss May," informed McGonagall who was so blatantly trying to eliminate some of the discomfiture and spark some sort of conversation.

"Really?" replied Hermione, feigning surprise.

"I take it by Professor McGonagall's mention of that little fact, that you too are familiar with Potions."

"Oh yes, I simply love it!" said Hermione rather excitedly but Snape merely nodded in reply.

"I'll leave you two to get to know one another," informed McGonagall with a wink of support sent Hermione's way. "I'll return in two hours to escort you to Gryffindor where I will introduce you to your housemates."

Hermione heard Snape distinctly grunt as McGonagall mentioned her house. It seems his customary house prejudice was set in place at a young age.

The Deputy Headmistress left the room with a stiff nod towards both Hermione and Snape leaving them alone with their uncomfortable silence. Instead of attempting to break their silence, Snape pulled a book out of the bookcase, before settling down in an armchair before a blazing fire to read.

"So what house are you in?" asked Hermione quietly as she sat opposite Snape, and although knowing the answer, deemed her question the best and only way to at least get his attention for a minute or two.

"Slytherin," came the short reply, his eyes never leaving his page.

"I'm in Gryffindor," explained Hermione, "although the sorting hat did contemplate placing me in Ravenclaw you know."

"Is that so," drawled Snape in reply his interest clearly falling upon the page before him and definitely not her futile attempts at conversation.

"Are you looking forward to Christmas?" asked Hermione after yet another moment of silence and noting the exceptionally small Christmas tree which lay bare in the corner of the room.

'_Typical Snape,' _thought Hermione reverting her glance from the pathetic tree and back to Snape.

"Not particularly," answered Snape, his answer once again as concise as it could be and bordering on rudeness.

"Oh, it's a wonderful time of year!" exclaimed Hermione, causing Snape for the first time since McGonagall's departure to look up.

"Look, _Miss May,_" said Snape firmly in a very Professor like manner, "I have reading to be getting on with that white noise emanating from your mouth is disturbing me," he drawled. "So please, occupy your time more productively and refrain from attempting to indulge in conversation with somebody who wishes not to be spoken to!"

"Fine!" huffed Hermione, who stomped out of the common room petulantly and up to her bedroom to unpack.

As he watched her leave, Severus Snape couldn't help feeling a little bit guilty for his abruptness due to the fact that the girl genuinely seemed tolerable. However, he had learned from his previous escapades with Lily Evans that getting close to any female Gryffindor would only lead to hurt, and so his attitude to his new room mate was simply his way of putting up walls around himself and preventing any harm that may come his way.

With a sigh, and resenting the guilt that was currently coursing through him, Severus placed his book back on its shelf and made his way up to the bedroom which he would now have to share with the new comer.

As he stepped into the room he noticed that Hermione was already unpacking her small bag of belongings and looked rather agitated.

"I apologise if I was a little short with you before," started Snape as he stepped over to Hermione unsurely.

"I'm used to it," she muttered, but of course Severus did not understand the true meaning of her words and instead interpreted them as she was used to being spoken to rudely by people in general.

"I just wasn't expecting to be sharing my rooms any time soon," continued the dark-haired young man as he helped himself to a seat on Hermione's bed. "It was just a little bit of a surprise."

"Well I was only trying to be polite," huffed Hermione as she folded her cloak up and placed it in the bottom of her wardrobe.

"I know," agreed Snape concisely and not revelling in the strange desire to apologise that was coursing through him

"It's okay," said Hermione as she held an outstretched hand out to him to shake. "New start?" she asked.

"Yes," he replied as he took her outstretched hand.

"So," asked Severus, "how come you came to Hogwarts?"

Hermione paused having not planned an answer for such questions so soon, but decided to tell him some truth.

"My parents were murdered by Voldemort," she explained with teary eyes. (This was true)

"I'm sorry," said Severus, and Hermione was sure that he had briefly glanced down to where his Dark Mark would be if he had already taken it.

"Dumbledore thought it best if I come to Hogwarts and stay under his protection should the Death Eaters come after me."

"It is the safest place to be," agreed Snape with what Hermione presumed was his attempt at a small, comforting smile.

"It just feels weird to be here," said Hermione honestly as she glanced around the rooms which would be her _own_ and not _'their's' _if she were back in her time.

"You'll get used to it," replied Severus. "I found it hard at first too, but I'm sure you'll make new friends and fit in fine."

Noticing the melancholy tone of his voice and with remembrance to what Harry had said after seeing Professor Snape's memories, Hermione knew this was not the case for him; he had never fitted in.

"I hope so," said Hermione, attempting a brief smile of her own. "I'm looking forward to our lessons tomorrow."

"What lessons do you like other than Potions?" asked Snape.

"Everything except for Divination really," she said honestly. "What about you?"

"The same. I have no time for Divination and it's a load of old twaddle if you ask me. Professor Fredwick, who's the Professor of that particular field here at Hogwarts, says that I simply do not have the aptitude for the subject thus refuses even let me in her classes."

Hermione laughed as she remembered Trelawney saying near enough the same thing to her in her third year.

"What did you get in your O.W.L's?" asked Snape after Hermione had stopped laughing.

"All Outstandings," she said with a proud smile. "And you?"

"The same."

"Well it seems you have a little academia competition now that I'm here," Hermione said with a smile.

"You have no chance Miss May," replied Snape firmly, no emotion readable in his stern black eyes.

"Oh we'll see," she said with pouted lips. "We'll see."

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**Thank you all for your encouraging reviews...keep them coming and I will, as always, aim to please :D**


	3. The Lion's Den

**Chapter Three: The Lions' Den**

"So how are you finding it with Snivilus?" asked Sirius Black to Hermione as the Marauders and the new Gryffindor sat snugly getting to know one another only mere minutes since McGonagall had introduced Hermione and left.

"Sirius there is just no need for that," interjected Lily Evans, who was sat between James Potter's legs on a rug before the fire of Gryffindor common room.

"What?" protested Sirius, "he's bad news and you know it."

"I actually think Severus seems nice," said Hermione, who suddenly realised that she had called her Professor by his given name for the first time ever.

"Oh no you're not on Lily's side are you?" asked James with a sigh. "Hermione, I know you're new and probably feel like you've got to give everyone a chance, but trust us we know Snape, and we can tell you from first hand experience that he's rotten to the core."

"James I know you're only trying to look out for me and everything," insisted Hermione as politely as she could, "but I want to decide for myself, who is good and who is bad, without your aspersions getting in the way." As she answered, Hermione felt as though she was telling Harry off for speaking ill of Snape, not his Father. The similarities between them were incredibly numerous.

"Well said 'Mione," cheered Lily who was met my angry glares from both James and Sirius. Remus however, Hermione noticed, had remained quite thus far with regard to the conversation of Snape, and Hermione understood from what Harry had told her, that this probably had something to do with the fact that Snape brewed wolfsbane for him on a regular basis.

"What about you Remus?" asked Hermione who was testing her theory of why the werewolf had remained impartial. "Have you not got anything scandalous to say about the Head Boy?"

"He's an odd character I'll give you that, and he _is_ a bit of a recluse; but other than that," he added with an unreadable expression about his weary face, "he's a decent young man who just wants to be left on his own and merely accepted."

"And do you call associating with the likes of Lucius and Bellatrix Lestrange, _'being on his own'_?" said James sardonically.

"Lucius Malfoy?" asked Hermione with intrigue.

"Yes," answered Sirius. "How do you know about_ him_? You've only been here five minutes."

"I…erm…heard Professor Dumbledore mention him before," lied Hermione unconvincingly.

"Oh right," continued Sirius who had seemingly accepted her rough explanation. "Anyway, rumour has it that Snivilus was persuaded by Malfoy to take the mark. You _do_ know what the Dark Mark is don't you?" he asked as though he was talking to a complete foreigner.

"I'm afraid I most definitely do," replied Hermione with a sigh. "I don't come from a different planet you know!"

"There's no way in this world that Severus would have taken the mark Sirius!" dismissed Lily, ignoring Hermione's comment.

"He called you a Mudblood Larry!" interrupted James firmly. "What more evidence do you need that he follows their blood status beliefs?"

"_Larry_?" repeated Hermione incredulously and changing their current direction of conversation.

"Yes that's what we call Lily," explained Remus quickly. "Because she's one of the boys," he added as Hermione's confused expression never faltered.

"_Oh right," _saidHermione as she finally understood_. _"So Pr…I mean Severus," she corrected quickly, "has took the mark?"

"No he hasn't," said Lily sternly before one of the boys could answer. "The boys just like to say he has so that they can slate him even more than they already do."

"Lily, you know that I don't mind Severus Snape," insisted Remus, "but even I believe he has accepted the mark. Whether or not he took it due to the fact that he was bullied into it however, remains debatable."

"How could one be _bullied_ into accepting the mark?" asked Hermione, who was struggling to accept this notion. "It's not like he's being bullied for his dinner money, is it?"

"Hermione, when Voldemort wants somebody to join his ranks who does not necessarily want to, he does not simply accept that person's decision and instead forces them, bribes them and threatens them," informed Sirius gravely. "Take my brother Regulus for example," he continued solemnly. "Regulus and I come from a family who have always been followers of Dark Magic. When Regulus refused the Dark Lord's offer of the mark, he threatened to kill of our family. My brother of course did not take these threats as seriously as he ought to and thus a week later our Mother was killed."

"Oh that's terrible," exclaimed Hermione who knew exactly what it felt like to have parents killed by Death Eaters.

"It wasn't a huge loss to be honest," said Sirius flippantly, "but Regulus adored our Mother and so he took the mark to prevent further damage to our family."

"I never knew," mused Hermione with teary eyes and her statement caused a series of surprised glares.

"Why would you know?" asked James.

"Like I said," replied Hermione quickly, inwardly cursing her slip of the tongue, "I'm not from a different planet."

"What…don't tell me that you would have expected the news to have been printed on the front page of the Prophet?" joked Sirius.

"Well, why wouldn't it have been?"

"Oh Hermione where have you been for the last five years?" asked Lily with a bewildered expression. "They never print news which includes murder. They're too scared to admit Voldemort even exists."

"Oh yes of course," replied Hermione swiftly and making a face that suggested that she had been toying with them.

"I better be off to bed," said Sirius with a yawn. "Its double potions tomorrow and I'll need all the sleep I can get for that drag."

"I think I'll join you mate," agreed James. "It was lovely meeting you Hermione," he added with a smile. "Welcome to the clan."

"Yeah now that you're one of us you'll never be able to leave," teased Sirius.

"I'm so glad that I've met you guys," replied Hermione. "I'm a lucky girl."

"Oh we're the lucky ones," retorted Sirius with all the charm he could summon with his current state of exhaustion.

"Get out of here," said Lily with a wave of the hand. "All of you're pathetic attempts at flirting are making me feel nauseous!"

"And how exactly do you think we feel with you and James all over one another like a rash?" came the humorous reply from Sirius.

"Ignore him," interposed James as he bent down to kiss Lily on the forehead. "Sweet dreams," he whispered.

When the boys had left the room and it was only her and Lily left, Hermione thought it best of she left for bed too. It had been a busy day and the whole time travelling thing had taken it out of her.

"I better be heading back," she said as she tried to thwart a yawn.

"Yeah I suppose I better be off to bed soon too. It's been nice meeting you though Hermione," Lily said earnestly as she stood and pulled Hermione into a hug that strangely felt so much like Harry's. "It'll be nice having a female friend."

"It's been a pleasure meeting you all," replied Hermione as she pulled out of the hug and caught a glimpse of familiar green eyes. "I'm used to having a lot of male friends too, so it'll be great having a girl I can talk to."

"The boys are great 'Mione once you get to understand their sense of humour, but just don't let them put you off about being friends with Severus. He takes a while to figure out, but when you get there, Severus Snape is a fantastic friend who just needs a bit of reassurance and guidance."

"I like him Lily," said Hermione who was surprised that those very words could ever be used to explain a feeling towards Snape. "I never thought that I would but I do."

"Good," replied Lily, "Just tread carefully."

* * *

When Hermione returned back to her rooms, it was long gone midnight and yet to her surprise Snape was still awake and sat up in bed reading a large, dusty book. It was a strange sight to see her fearful Potions Master sat in bed, clad in black silken pyjama pants and a black cotton t-shirt; for the first time she noticed, Snape actually looked rather vulnerable in his attire.

"You're up late," said Hermione matter-of-factly as she slipped into her bed which was positioned uncomfortably next to his.

"I always do this, start reading a book and then can't put it down," he replied as he lay down his book on his bedside table and turned to face her.

"Me too," she said. "I'm a terrible book worm."

"There's nothing wrong with that," stated Snape as he settled into his pillow. "So, how was it in the Lions' Den?"

"It was really nice actually," replied Hermione with a smile. "I've gotten to know some really great people today."

"You're talking about Potter aren't you?" said Snape vehemently and Hermione realised at that point, that it was probably best not to talk about the Marauders around him.

"I actually meant _you_ as well," she said, causing his upper lip to twitch slightly; whether it was with agitation or delight she was unsure.

"Oh…erm…" he stuttered, struggling to vocalise a coherent reply to her compliment which he found diffucult to believe.

"I'll take that as a_ 'you seem really nice too Hermione'_ sort of answer" she interjected teasingly, and Snape blushed a little at this.

"We've got double Potions tomorrow," stated Snape who was so obviously trying to change the subject.

"Oh yeah," she retorted as she raised one inquiring eyebrow slightly above the other, "and then we'll get to see who's the best Potion maker out of the two of us."

"Yes, and then you'll realise that it is me!"

"No way Snape!" giggled Hermione. "I think you'll find that it's me."

"Only time will tell Miss May," he drawled in a very familiar Snape way.

"Time," mused Hermione quietly as she saw Snape's eyes close for the final time that night. "If only you knew."


	4. Potions and Perfection

**Chapter Four: Potions and Perfection**

"Miss May," began Slughorn, just as Hermione had taken her seat in the dungeon classroom beside Lily.

"Yes Sir," replied Hermione shortly.

"I was rather hoping that you would sit beside Mr Snape in my lessons," he said, indicating that his statement was neither a question nor an observation, and merely an order.

"Is there something wrong with me sitting here sir?" she asked as she looked to back and forth from Lily, who was sat to her right, and Slughorn who was stood at the front of the room.

"Well not directly no," answered Slughorn, his yellow eyes which were buried somewhere beneath his chubby face, gaping at Hermione intensely. "It's just I was thinking that it would set a good example if the Head Boy and Head Girls sat beside one another."

"You can't put a Slytherin and a Gryffindor next to one another!" protested Sirius who was sat next to James at the back of the classroom.

"Don't be absurd boy," snapped Slughorn dismissively. "In my classroom I have no time for silly house quarrels; all that matters in here is that you all receive the best grades that you possibly can."

Sirius _"harrumphed_" and sunk into his chair before sending a snarl Snape's way.

"Pip-pip, Miss May," ordered Slughorn quickly as he slapped his chubby hands together as so to motivate Hermione into moving from Lily.

"Is this really necessary?" said Hermione with an exasperated sigh. "I hardly think it matters who we are sat by."

"Are you looking to get yourself into bother on your first day Miss May?" quizzed Slughorn with a frown.

To Hermione, Slughorn was not at all as forbidding as he thought himself to be, and compared to the treatment she was used to in her Potions lessons from Snape, this was an easy ride. Slughorn would not be scaring Hermione any time soon.

Not wanting to cause a scene, and actually looking forward to the prospect of sitting beside Snape for the remainder of her time in this year, Hermione picked up her belongings and took up a stool beside the dark haired wizard, who for appearances sake, was pretending to look sickened by the new seating arrangements. Hermione gathered however from their brief chat the previous night, that Snape liked her as much as she liked him.

"He's an imbecile," whispered Snape as Slughorn began his lecture on healing potions. "Just ignore him."

"I think that he supposes himself to sport some sort of forbidding presence," agreed Hermione, "but _believe me,_ he's nothing compared to what I'm used to."

"Did your old Potions Professor give you a hard time?" asked Snape, who despite being lost in conversation with Hermione, was still able to scribble notes down into his battered old text book, that looked as though it had been spun around in a washing machine several times.

"Something like that," replied Hermione shortly, feeling uncomfortable about talking with regards to the older Snape to his younger self. It was too complicated a discussion even for her!

"The thing you have to understand with Slughorn," informed Snape with a disdainful glance towards their Professor, "is that he's a fame seeker of sorts. If you're from a rich and famous family, he suddenly wants to be your best friend, and if you can brew a good Potion he'll be as nice as pie."

"I take it by the tone of your voice that you don't agree with his teaching methods?"

"Not at all!" said Snape firmly. "Very few respect him because all he does is fish for success and he holds no sort of house morals. He's supposed to be the Slytherin Head of House and yet doesn't portray any such characteristics, nor does he embrace our house prejudices as he should."

"And is that such a bad thing?" inquired Hermione with a thoughtful expression. "I mean sure its great to have a bit of healthy competition with the other houses but what's occurring at the moment is _not _healthy."

"I understand your comprehension," mused Snape, and Hermione could not help feeling elated that Snape, no matter if he was younger, had just agreed with her about something.

"And what about you," asked Hermione out of curiosity, "how would you be better than Slughorn?"

"I'm not saying that Slughorn isn't a good teacher," said Snape, "because he is. I just think that to be successful in the workplace, one needs to be firm and emotionally unattached. That way, nobody expects any niceties from you, and you can simply do your job without having to deal with the problems that occur with pleasantries."

"That's a very cynical way to look at it," expressed Hermione with a sigh as she suddenly understood the older Snape a little bit more. He was as cold as he was and hurtful, simply to ensure that nobody would ever expect anything but Professional Guidance from him. By cutting himself of from niceties, and by extension the rest of the world, nobody would ever question him and his role as a double spy would be safe.

"You seem a little distant today Miss May," said Snape, his silky voice penetrating her thoughts of her Professor back at home. "As though your thoughts are elsewhere…"

"No, I'm fine," reassured Hermione as she looked into the dark black eyes of Snape, noticing the familiar mystery about them as she did so. "Should we begin brewing?"

"Yes I suppose we should. Are you familiar with the Murtlap Potion that Slughorn has assigned?" he asked and Hermione shot him an expression which he read as: _"yeah duh!"_

"The Murtlap Essence is a solution of strained and pickled Murtlap tentacles which if brewed correctly should turn yellow in colour," she began in her best know-it-all voice. "It soothes and heals a myriad of cuts and other wounds, and is used often in medical environments to cure those who have been involved in ferocious duels."

"I'll take that as a 'yes' then, Little-Miss-Know-It-All," he teased with a smile.

Although Hermione saw Snape's smile and therefore realised that he was joking with her rather than demeaning her like she was used to, she couldn't help but feel that familiar sense of anger towards him.

"I was joking," explained Snape quickly, as he noticed her brow furrow in dismay.

"Yes well it wasn't funny," retorted Hermione as she began slicing the Murtlap tentacles into long, thin strips.

"Stop!" snapped Snape, pulling the knife which she was using out of her hands. "What on earth are you doing?"

"Cutting the Tentacles," answered Hermione incredulously with a gesture towards the long strips of green slime.

"You are _slicing_ them Hermione," reprimanded Snape, who if he would have not said _'Hermione'_ and instead _'Miss Granger,' _would have sounded too like his older self for comfort.

"Yes and what's wrong with that?" asked Hermione as she remembered that it was Professor Snape himself who had shown her that it was better to slice than dice Murtlap Tentacles.

"The book says that we are to dice," informed Snape as he highlighted the textbooks instructions with his forefinger.

"Honestly, it's better to dice. My old Professor told me that, and believe me, he knows what he's talking about."

"One minute you tell me that you're old Professor was a cold fish who you find rather sardonic, and then the next you're singing his praises," stated Snape with a confused expression.

"He's complicated," said Hermione as she looked over the younger Snape. "I guess that he's just a little misunderstood. He berates his students so that they thoroughly understood when they are wrong. By doing so," she continued, "students know where they stand all of the time."

"And where do you stand with this Professor of yours," Snape asked, sensing a little unease in Hermione's voice as she spoke of the man she once knew. "How does he treat the girl-who-knows-everything?"

"I think that it's fair to say that there is only one other who he is more of a bastard to than I," she explained as her thoughts drifted to her last Potions lesson with the older Snape. As it had been since her first lesson with him, Snape had humiliated her every time she raised her hand to respond to one of his more difficult questions to which very few knew the answer to. Yet his treatment of her was nowhere near as bad as Harry's. It seemed that the only person he despised more than the know-it-all, was the boy-who-lived.

"There must be a reasoning behind his treatment of you Hermione," Snape explained, not realising that he was actually sticking up for himself. "Maybe he berates you to set an example to the others."

"Maybe," conceded Hermione. "I just don't get him."

"Well if it makes you feel any better, you have my word that if ever he crosses my path, I shall hex him on your behalf," Snape said chivalrously, his eyes never leaving the ingredients that were sat beneath his hardworking finger tips.

'_If only you knew,'_ she thought with a smile as she watched him work.

* * *

"You and Snivilus seemed to be getting on a little too well," stated Sirius as the Marauders sat out in the school grounds eating a picnic which the House Elves had kindly prepared for them earlier.

"And?" retorted Hermione. "I like him."

"In what way?" pushed Sirius.

"As a friend," said Hermione firmly, even though she knew that her heart seemed to beat a little faster when she thought of him lately.

"Harry just ignore Sirius," informed James whose head was on Lily's lap whilst she ran her hands though his hair. "He's just jealous that it's Snape who's receiving your affections not him."

"Harry?" exclaimed Hermione looking around for her spectacled friend.

"We'll your one of the boys now Hermione, and seen as though Lily's called Larry, you can be Harry."

'_This is going to be weird,'_ thought Hermione but thought it best, for obvious reasons, not to vocalise her concerns.

"Boy's haven't you got Quidditch Practice?" asked Lily as she glanced towards the maroon strapped watch that lay on her right wrist.

"Oh geesh, yeah we have!" said a started James as he jumped up and out of Lily's lap. "Come on then get a move on!"

Instantly, the boys all gathered there belongings from the blanket which they were sat on, and thrust them hurriedly into their bags.

"See you later girls!" called Remus as the exceedingly late trio ran off towards the Quidditch pitch.

"What is going on between you and Severus 'Mione?" asked Lily once the boys were firmly out of earshot.

"Nothing," protested Hermione.

"But you do like him, right?"

"I'm just getting to know him, but yeah, I like him."

"Anything more than that?" inquired Lily with a knowing expression.

"I'm beginning to see the…_attractiveness _of him shall we say," replied Hermione who knew that what she was saying was so wrong on so many levels.

"Do you think something could happen between you?"

"It can't," stated Hermione firmly.

"I can tell by the way he looks at you that he's completely smitten Hermione," said Lily, her big green eyes searching the brown of Hermione's for an answer.

"He is?" inquired Hermione, who was reluctantly excited by this notion.

"Totally, but Severus is hard work to keep happy."

"I can imagine," giggled Hermione at the thought of Professor Snape's face if he knew what she was doing.

"So all I'm saying, is that if you do pursue something with him, tread extra carefully."

"Let's just see how things go first. I don't think anything would, or could, happen."

"Stranger things have happened," mused Lily, "and between stranger people."

"What like you and James?" teased Hermione, who was both trying to change the subject and attempting to find a little bit more out about her best friend's parents.

"Oi you," rebuked Lily, "me and James are great together."

"How long has it been?"

"Almost a year since we first got together," said Lily.

"Wow, that's a long time to stay with somebody at our age."

"We just fit 'Mione, you know. We're the same. Haven't you ever had that with someone?"

"It's sort of like that with Severus," confessed Hermione in return. "It's weird though because he's not my type in terms of looks but we are just so alike personality wise. He likes all the things I do, and I don't every think I've known a boy who I can relate to on so many levels."

"Well then what's stopping you?" asked Lily who was so obviously keen on playing cupid.

"It's only been a couple of days and we're just starting up a friendship. Anything more would be well, _complicated_."

"Hermione time is never on or side," stated the red haired witch.

This statement fell upon Hermione like a ton of bricks as she realised that Dumbledore had said this to her just before she left her time. Maybe she should listen to what the Headmaster had said and what Lily was saying now? Maybe it was time for her to ignore her logical qualms and give into her hearts desires?

"I'd better be heading back to my rooms," said Hermione who suddenly had so much to ponder on.

"Okay," replied Lily. "We haven't got anymore classes today, but I'll see you over the weekend alright?"

"That'd be great," returned Hermione before heading off to her rooms, her mind quarrelling fiercely with her heart.

* * *

**Review and make me smile ... :)**


	5. Under The Stars

**Chapter Five: Under the Stars**

It had been a month since Hermione had arrived twenty years in the past, yet she felt no closer to completing her mission _(whatever that was)_ than the day she had twisted that time turner of hers for the twentieth time. The one and only thing that she felt she'd achieved during her stay, was that she had got to know and understand the mystery which was Severus Snape, just a little bit more.

She and Snape had become very good friends since her arrival in his time and she had found herself becoming more and more attracted to him as the days went by. Her heart was always pulling her in his direction and persuading her to talk to him, flirt a little and generally make it so he realised that she felt something for him. But whilst her heart was tugging her in one direction, there was always the nagging guilt of her logic, telling her that what she was doing was wrong and that there would be consequences to pay when she returned home and Professor Snape realised what had happened.

But despite all the ticks under Hermione's mental heading of: _'reasons not to go there'_, she couldn't help falling for his seventeen year old self. It was strange for her as she had never really felt anything for the older Snape, but she most certainly did for the younger. He was everything that she'd ever looked for in a man: attentive, intelligent and brutally honest.

Hermione had realised during her month stay in the late 70's, that Severus and Professor Snape were two completely different people, and so the thought of something happening between them became far less daunting.

"Are you busy tonight?" asked Severus as he and Hermione sat in their respected armchairs reading.

"No," she replied trying to control the curious tone of her voice. "Why?"

"I wanted to show you something," he said almost shyly.

"I've heard that before from boys like you," joked Hermione trying to calm his nerves, "and trust me, it wasn't a pleasant sight!"

"Oh no Hermione," protested Severus. "I never meant that!"

"I know," giggled Hermione, "I was joking. What is it you want to show me?"

"It's a surprise," said Severus with a shrewd smile.

"I've never been a big fan of surprises _Snapey _so just tell me."

"Why do you never call me Severus, Hermione?" asked Snape with his brow furrowing slightly and his lip curling as it usually did when he was annoyed or curious.

"Don't I?" she replied, knowing fully well that she had always avoided calling him by his first name, due to the fact of the connotations it held.

"You know you don't. You always call me Snapey, or Snape, and you have an uncanny knack of calling me _Professor_ for some absurd reason."

Hermione inwardly kicked herself as he highlighted her habitual mistake. The Severus she knew looked so much like his older self in so many ways, and so when she spoke to him and looked into his familiar black eyes, she could help her frequent slips of the tongue as she referred to him as Professor.

"Are you not going to answer me?" he asked impatiently as he closed his book firmly, indicating to Hermione that he was intent a serious conversation.

"You look like my old Professor, which is why I sometimes call you that," she lied, "and I don't know why I don't call you Sev- _by your name_."

"See you can't even say it now!" snapped Severus. "Hermione you confuse me. When I just think that I'm getting to know you and that we're actually going somewhere, you suddenly change back into the stranger you were when you first arrived here."

"I'm sorry," she said, "but I just think that you're over reacting."

"If I'm over reacting then say it," he insisted. "Say my name."

"Don't be so childish," replied Hermione angrily, as she knew that it was she who was being the child not Snape.

Hermione wanted desperately to just call him by his name and prove to him that she did care for him, but she knew that the moment the word 'Severus' escaped her lips, things would change and by that she meant the future. How could she effectively alter Professor Snape's life just so that she could tell the boy that she had fallen for that she cared for him? What would happen if she just let his name escape the confines of her throat? Could she deal with the consequences?

"You can't do it can you?" spat Severus as he stood and knocked his book forcefully onto the stone floor with a thud. "You can't do it because you don't care enough to actually get involved with me?"

"I'm scared of what will change if I do say it!" replied Hermione forcefully.

"You're scared?" he repeated incredulously.

"Yes. So much will change, but you just don't know it yet."

"Then tell me now," he said as he placed his hands on her shoulders and unintentionally sent shivers down her spine. "Tell me what you're scared will change."

"I just can't tell you until I know what we have," she said with a sigh whilst turning away from his soul searching eyes. "Until I'm sure that I'm doing the right thing."

"Just come with me tonight like I said before," whispered Severus as he stepped towards Hermione who still had her back to him.

"Where to?" she asked, turning her head to look at him. "You never did say before."

"Just meet me at the Greenhouses at eleven tonight. I've got to go and see Slughorn about my apprenticeship now, but before I go I want your word that you'll come."

"I'll come," came the short reply, but that was enough for Snape to leave the room with a smile upon his face.

* * *

Hermione arrived early at the Greenhouses so that she had time to prepare and clear her mind before Snape arrived. She was certain that she felt something for him, and the sensation that she had felt earlier when he touched her shoulders only proved that further. But righteousness and virtue seemed to stand in her way of actually doing something, despite her heart's powerful demands for the Professor who she had despised for so long.

"You're early," came a silky voice from the shadows and Hermione turned to find herself facing Snape and his bottomless black eyes.

"I just wanted you to know that I am _interested_, for want of a better word."

Severus smiled. "Good," he said as he grabbed her hand and led her off into the darkness.

"We'll be in detention forever if we get caught; where are you taking me?" she asked as they wandered further away from the castle and into the darkness. Even though she had no idea where he was taking her and suspected that he wore the Dark Mark on his left forearm, Hermione strangely trusted him.

"It's a surprise," replied Severus.

As they neared a large stone wall to the south of the Greenhouses, Severus stepped behind Hermione and used his slim hands to cover her eyes.

"What are you doing?" she asked, her voice a little unsure as they carried on moving forward through the darkness.

"Making sure that you don't ruin the surprise by peeking," was his simple answer that was projected in nothing more than a light whisper than ran gently past her right ear before drifting off into their vast surroundings.

They carried on moving forth, and a distance that Hermione estimated around ten yards, before stopping completely.

"I need to move my hands to lower the wards but you need to promise that you won't peek," Snape said firmly.

"Wards?" she asked, completely ignoring his latter statement.

"Yes," he conceded exasperatedly. "But I need to know that you won't peek."

"Yes, yes," Hermione said quickly and impatiently. "Come on though, I'm practically dying with excitement!"

Severus shook his head at this before removing his hands slowly from her tightly closed eyes. He was almost certain that he felt her sigh a little as his touch fell from her face, but disregarded this notion quickly, for it would not to be led on by his own disarray of emotions yet again.

"Can I open them now?" Hermione asked impatiently as she felt the wards drop from their surroundings, and heard the loud grinding sound of stone against stone.

"Take ten steps forward," Snape instructed as he guided her through a stone archway which had just opened up before them, lapping up the feel of the soft ground beneath his feet. "You can open them…_now_," he said, stepping back from her and watching as she took in her new surroundings.

Hermione opened her eyes to find herself in a beautiful garden which lay beneath a star strewn sky. All around her were a myriad of vibrant flowers including an assortment of roses, lilies and gladiolas, and in the distance ran a long row of pink blossom trees. She revolved on the spot for what must have been several whole minutes, a huge smile about her lips and her eyes wide open in awe.

Her silence was making Severus exceedingly uncomfortable and the longer it went on, the worse he felt about both himself and the situation. If it wasn't for the colossal smile upon her face then one would have thought that she was not overly impressed by his gesture. But no, a smile_ was_ present and her eyes _were_ gleaming with an emotion that the young man couldn't quite put his finger on; clearly his efforts had not gone amiss with Hermione.

"Hermione, you're making me nervous," he admitted. "And nervousness is not a feeling that I particularly enjoy."

"There is no need to feel apprehensive," she whispered as her eyes scanned the quaint little garden that she found herself the centre of, "it's breath taking."

Severus felt his lips twitch into a tiny smile as she said this but remained quiet, simply watching her as she observed the garden and all of its entailments.

"Lilies!" she exclaimed as she pointed to the large white flowers that were growing in the corner of the garden. "Oh my and orchids!"

"I take it that you agree with my choice of _greenery_ then," he chortled softly, watching her excitement play out before him.

"_Your _choice of greenery?" she repeated incredulously as she turned her attentions from the pond in the corner of the garden and towards him.

"Of course," he replied. "This is my garden Hermione and therefore it is up to I to choose what to grow."

"How on earth did you end up with your own garden?" she asked. "Surely it isn't wise for Professor Greengrass to simply _give out _pieces of the castle's grounds willy-nilly. Any dangerous plant matter could be grown and be potentially hazardous to the faculty."

"Do you have to be so negative all of the time?" he asked humorously. "I was given the garden by the Headmaster for the growing of my potions ingredients. He has advised me to take a more active role in my apprenticeship with Slughorn."

"You've got an apprenticeship with Slughorn?" she repeated. "But I thought you had one with Professor Greengrass?"

"I do. I applied for two apprenticeships and both were accepted."

"Is that allowed?" she asked, feeling slightly disheartened that _she _wasn't allowed to take more than one apprenticeship in her time. Was Snape _that _much more intelligent that her?

"No we're not really supposed to but Dumbledore was adamant that I take Potions, where as I wanted to do Herbology…in the end we just met in the middle and settled on both."

"Oh right," she said with a smile, feeling a little bit better about herself now that she realised that he was _forced _to take two on at once.

"Anyway," he said, "I didn't bring you here to talk about school."

"So what did you bring me here for?"

Severus felt a little uncomfortable with her question as he still didn't know why he'd chosen to bring her to his little piece of solitude, and to a place where only he and the Headmaster knew existed. Why did he trust her so?

Not knowing quite how to answer, Snape did what he did best and chose to ignore the question. Instead, he took off his outer robe and transfigured it into a green picnic blanket, before laying it out on the grass beneath the clear night's sky, and indicated for Hermione to sit down beside him.

They settled down together on the blanket, both of their hearts beating a little bit faster as their shoulders brushed past one another. At first, they sat in silence, merely basking in the moon's ghostly light which was casting an unusual sort of glow upon the vibrant and bustling garden in which they were sat.

"I can't believe this place," said Hermione who was well and truly in awe of her surroundings and also intent on breaking the not-so-awkward silence.

"I come here when I'm feeling a bit down or angry," he explained. "It helps to take away any frustrations that I may be feeling."

"I can see why," agreed Hermione. "I suppose that it's like your Pandora's Box in a way, where you can bury your feelings. I'd quite like one of those!"

"Well you can come here whenever you like," he said. "It does not bode well to hang on to too much emotion. You can store any pent up emotions here with mine any time you wish."

"Oh no I couldn't-"

"I insist," he said firmly, the tone of his voice reminding her too much of the elder Snape.

Silence fell about them once more, but it was neither unpleasant nor worrying.

As they sat side by side, relaxing on the blanket and merely _being _together without the interruptions of others, Hermione felt certain that she held something more than friendship for Snape. She had never been so comfortable with a boy other than Harry and Ron before, and she had never found equality in another like she had with her Potions Professor's younger self. But it was wrong, she told herself several times a day since her arrival. How could she alter somebody else's life on a mere whim that they would work together? How could she face Professor Snape again once she had created all of these memories that could not simply be erased?

"You think about him too much," Snape said softly, breaking Hermione's thoughts.

"Pardon?" she asked nervously.

"Your old Professor," he stated. "You think about him too much."

"How would you know that? Don't be absurd."

"I'm an Legillimens Hermione, and an imperfect one at that," he added for good measure. "I can't _help_ reading peoples' minds sometimes…especially when they're as active as yours."

Panic set in and Hermione's heart began to beat dangerously fast; did he know who she was? Had she failed her mission for Dumbledore by failing to retain her integrity and secret?

"So you've seen him? My Professor? You've seen him?"

"Not exactly," he mused thoughtfully. "His face is always blurred and his voice distorted; like he's not really there."

She had heard that explanation before from Harry and it did not please her then and it did not now. Clearly, her meddling with time had become more confusing than she'd imagined.

"Hermione you've gone positively pale," Severus exclaimed as he ran a soft hand over her clammy forehead.

"I don't feel too good," she lied. "Can we go back to our rooms please?"

"Of course," he said as he helped her too her feet…something was not right and he knew it.

* * *

**Ah I'm loving all of your reviews so far...they keep me wanting to write more and more. (It's strange really.) Anyway, thanks and keep them up if you would be so kind!**


	6. Hogsmede

**Chapter Six: Hogsmede**

"Ah Miss May," greeted Albus Dumbledore as he helped Hermione chivalrously to her seat and offered her a steaming mug of tea which she politely declined. "To what to I owe this unexpected pleasure?"

"I came to ask a favour of sorts Headmaster," Hermione began, hoping that she did not sound too forward or pushy.

"Continue," Dumbledore said benevolently with a gentle wave of the hand.

"Well, due to the fact that my departure from my _old school_ was rather premature and unexpected, I had very little time to pack everything any anything I may have needed for the next couple of months."

"Of course," Dumbledore agreed. "And one is to presume that you seek my permission for a visit to Hogsmede this weekend?"

"Actually sir," Hermione said nervously, "I was rather hoping that you'd allow me to go today."

"And miss your lessons?"

"Well yes. I know that it's a lot to ask but I would really like Lily Evans to come with me but she has her Charms Apprenticeship on a weekend, thus cannot accommodate those days."

"I see," the Headmaster mused, running his fingers through his gingery silver beard methodically. "Miss May," he continued, "are you aware of the current dangers within the wizarding community at the present?"

"Well not fully sir," she replied honestly, "but I am used to similar dangers from analogous sources in my own time."

"And did your _old_ Headmaster allow his students to venture outdoors without an Order Member or capable persons?"

"No sir."

"And so out of interest, whom accompanied you on your last visit to Hogsmede, Miss May?"

"Professors Snape and Lupin sir."

To Hermione's surprise Dumbledore erupted into a fit of deep laughter and he had to clutch his chest to cease such fits.

"Are you okay Professor?"

"Why yes Miss May, I am indeed. Merely the thought of Severus and Remus as Professors in my school is enough to give me a laugh induced heart attack!"

"Oh dear I shouldn't have told you about them being Professors should I?"

"No my dear, it is worth breaking the rules sometimes for a little giggle…and that truly was a giggle and a half!"

Hermione herself began to laugh, but not for the same reasons as the Headmaster and instead due to his ostentatious display of adolescence. It was very unlike Dumbledore (or otherwise the one she was used to) being to openly unruly and immature, and so the sight brought an overzealous smile to her face.

"Oh my," he said once his laughter had been reluctantly stifled, "Miss May, you must forgive me for keeping you waiting on an answer to your straightforward question."

"It's fine sir."

"How very agreeable of you young lady, but I will not keep you waiting any longer. So yes, you may visit Hogsmede today but I must enforce my desire for you to take Severus along with you instead of Miss Evans."

Hermione's heart sank. She had not seen nor heard from Snape since his mention of his Occulems abilities the previous night, and she didn't revel in the idea of seeing him again. It seemed however, that the Headmaster had other ideas.

"Is that okay with you Miss May?" Dumbledore asked, breaking her thoughts.

"Yes Headmaster of course."

Albus Dumbledore took note of his new student's sudden dishevelled demeanour and decided to ask her a question which he had previously hoped to avoid.

"How are you and the Head Boy getting along Miss May?"

Hermione suddenly sparked back into alertness and sat bolt upright in her chair.

"Fine," she said simply. "He is as I expected he would be?"

"As you are probably already aware Miss May, I am disturbingly good at detecting fibs so to speak. So," he continued with an omniscient frown, "I shall ask you again. How are you and the Head Boy getting along?"

Hermione sighed in defeat; clearly the Headmaster could not be lied to, and so she had no choice but to express _some_ of her concerns to him with regard to Severus Snape.

"We are getting along well," she began. "And he is _not_ what I expected him to be like at all."

"Did you _expect_ to see him at all Miss May?"

"To be honest sir," she replied, "when I was sent back here the thought of Professor Snape did not even cross my mind. I was far too excited about the prospect of meeting the 'marauders' as they are known in our time."

"Ah Miss Evans and her clan."

"Yes sir."

"And how have you found them to be?"

"As lovely and welcoming as I expected I guess."

"So, quite the antithesis of what you expected our Severus to be like?" he said humorously.

Hermione smiled. "He is _nothing _like I predicted."

"Are you pleasantly surprised by your Professor's younger self then Miss May?"

"Positively," she replied thoughtfully. "But I feel that by befriending him, I'm going against the rules of this entire mission. I am compromising my purpose in this time simply because I have found a friend in the strangest of places."

"Oh I seriously doubt that Miss May. As you already know, I can neither confirm nor dismiss your aspirations, but I _will_ tell you to listen to your heart. Logic can be a troubling thing if it is used incorrectly Miss May, and I hope that you will see that given time."

"I'm rather beginning to hate that word," Hermione stated firmly. "_Time."_

"Indeed. Time enjoys making fools of us Miss May and only_ you_ can monopolise that to your own advantage."

"Must you always speak in riddles, sir?" she asked, frowning as she failed to bite her tongue.

"Always," he chortled. "Now, with regard to your outing today, I must express the importance that you stay close to Mr Snape. He is a highly acclaimed Dark Arts specialist and thus your protector for the day."

"Of course sir, but I can take care of myself you know."

"I know Miss May; my older self highlighted that in his letter. But," he continued, "he also highlighted other things also which I must obey and support."

"Meaning?" Hermione asked.

"Meaning," he repeated with a warm smile, "that I cannot disclose them to you."

Hermione smiled at his secrecy before turning to leave the Headmaster's office.

"Oh and Miss May," Dumbledore called before Hermione turned back to him. "Remember to use that heart of yours."

* * *

"The headmaster specifically expressed that there shall be no faffing around in the shops. You are to go in, pick what you need, and then leave again," instructed Severus as he led Hermione down the road to Hogsmede, the wind cutting at their frost-bitten faces.

"Must you always be so rigid?" Hermione asked teasingly. "We have the entire day at our disposal and all you can think about is getting back up to the castle as soon as possible."

"This isn't a day trip Hermione," he informed. "It is a necessity."

"Right," droned Hermione sarcastically. "Oh come on," she said. "Where's your spontaneity?"

"Probably in the same place as my humour," he said firmly. "Nonexistent."

"Don't be a cold fish Mr Snape," she said, wincing as he frowned at her lack of use of his first name. "Let's go and warm ourselves up in that little café over there." She pointed towards a brightly lit little restaurant at the foot of Hogsmede Lane that looked so warm inside, its windows were riddled with condensation.

"I don't think so," Severus said firmly as he cast a disdainful glance towards the bustling café. "We will shop first and then if we _have time_ we will grab a cup of hot chocolate."

"Fine," Hermione conceded. "But I warn you that I have lots of girly shopping to do."

"Curse Albus Dumbledore!" groaned Severus. "Why couldn't he have let bloody Evans come with you!"

"Because," Hermione informed as she led him by the hand into Madam Sensura's, "you're my big mean protector for the day."

"Don't the government employ Aurors for this kind of toil?" he asked bitterly. Severus' next complaint caught in the base of his throat as he glanced around the warm shop that they were now stood in.

"Oh come on," Hermione sighed, "it's only a bit of underwear."

"_Only a bit of_ - Geesh Hermione," he said, cutting himself off mid-sentence, "it's a shop full of the bloody stuff!"

"Don't _you_ buy underwear?"

"Of course I do," he replied disgustedly. "But it's either black, green or grey boxers; None of this fluorescent_ lacy_ stuff."

"Once again your spontaneity fails you Mr Snape. Come on," she said, leading him to the silk section, "you can come and help me pick something special out."

Severus blushed.

"What!" Hermione protested. "Lily would have been more than helpful with regard to this sort of shopping, and seen as though you are filling in for her, you should be as equally obliging."

They took almost an hour picking out necessities for Hermione's underwear drawer and Severus spent the entire time blushing and covering his eyes in disgust. Seemingly, he'd never seen a pair of green French Knickers before, and he didn't seem too pleased by his first sighting either.

Finally, after a torturous couple of hours being dragged in and out of shops by Hermione, Severus finally got a moment to sit down in the café they had seen upon arrival to Hogsmede what seemed like decades ago.

"My feet feel as though they are about to drop off," Severus stated as they slumped into their seats before a small table in the quieter section of the café.

"Oh don't be so melodramatic," Hermione smirked. "This was light-weight stuff," she said. "You should see me when I _really _get going."

"I don't think I want to thank you very much."

Hermione giggled.

Before long, the stout looking waitress who had been circling the small room very slowly, took the pair's orders and they were sat with their hands wrapped around two mugs of steaming hot chocolate some ten minutes later.

"Don't you love hot chocolate on a cold winter's day," Hermione stated as she sipped away at the still scorching liquid.

"Yes and a packet of chocolate biscuits to go with it," he agreed as he wiped a moustache of cream off his upper lip.

"We should decide upon a day where we just sit in front of our fire drinking, eating and chatting," Hermione suggested.

"That would be acceptable," Snape said diplomatically as he tried to conceal a smile at the thought of he and Hermione curled up affront of a blazing fire.

"Mr Enthusiastic strikes again," Hermione said sarcastically, earning her a soft slap on the arm from the young man before her.

"Sarcasm is not befitting of a young woman Hermione," he joked.

Hermione inwardly smiled at the thought of the epitome of sarcasm: Professor Snape. If only Severus knew!

"I enjoy spending time with you," Hermione said quietly and unprovoked.

"As do I," he retorted concisely, not wanting to run too far ahead of himself.

"I suppose I just wanted you to know that I do like you, even though you think I don't."

"Then why would it hurt so much as to just say my name?" he asked severely.

"Because," she said.

"Because?"

"Because," she repeated, "I just can't."

"You said that things will change if you say it. Do you not want something more from _this _and that is why you can't say it?" he asked solemnly.

"No of course not!" she protested. "I really do want more but I just don't want to push things forward without considering the consequences first."

"Consequences?" he asked. "Hermione there are none."

"I just don't want things to progress when we both have secrets to hide."

Severus glanced subconsciously down to his left forearm.

"Are you scared of me?" he asked. "Do you think I would hurt you?"

"No," she admitted. "I'm more scared of _me_ hurting _you_."

"You shouldn't be," Severus said firmly. "I can make my own decisions and my own mistakes. Believe me," he added, "I have already made plenty of the latter."

"As long as you compensate for those mistakes then they do not matter," she informed, knowing fully well that she was referring to his Dark Mark and his later work for the Order.

"How does one contrite for who and what one is?" he asked sombrely.

"Who and what you are?" she repeated. "Why do you think so ill of yourself?"

"I think we both know why Hermione," he said gesturing briefly to his left arm. "Surely the fantastic _Potter_ warned you off me with the knowledge of my branding?"

Hermione took note of Severus' bitter tone and so thought best to just be brutally honest with him.

"I can't say that what I know pleases me," she admitted, "but you are not one of them I'm certain of that."

"How can you be so sure?"

"Trust me," she said softly. "You _are _different."


	7. Our Day

**Chapter Seven: Our Day**

"Hey you," Hermione said quietly as she took up a seat on the rug beside Severus and before the fire. "Busy day?"

"Very," he replied, his eyes never leaving the mug of hot chocolate that was clasped in his hands. "There's something about Fridays that I detest."

There was a long pause. Clearly something was bothering him and it wasn't just the fact that it was a Friday.

"Mr Snape you seem a little distant. Is everything alright?"

He nodded a 'yes' in reply, but not very convincingly.

Hermione reached out and clasped his hand in hers before settling the adjoined pair down on the think woollen rug. He looked down nervously towards their interlocked fingers and just before he moved to recoil them from her grasp, she looked up into his fearful eyes with her own calming honey brown ones, capturing his attention and diverting it away from their hand's connection.

"You can tell me anything you know," she whispered earnestly, her eyes reiterating her sincerity as they searched his for some sort of retaliation. "You can trust me."

"I know that."

"So tell me," she supposed softly, "what's wrong?"

"Nothing," he lied. "I guess I was just thinking about _us._"

"Us," she repeated with a thoughtful frown.

"And whether there is: an _us._"

"Do you want there to be?" she asked, turning her head apprehensively from him to the blazing fire which roared violently yet with very little distraction in terms of sound.

"Yes," he conceded. "But I don't want to lead you anywhere whilst you're blind of certain facts."

"If you're talking of the Mark, than don't bother explaining any further."

"But don't you want to know why I took it? _Why I do what I do_?"

"Deep down I think I know why you did it and why you do it," she replied, her memories from her time telling her that it was all down to Lily's rejection of him the previous year.

"It has nothing to do with Lily, Hermione," he informed sternly.

"Occulems?" she asked omnisciently.

"Yes. You should really try to enclose your thoughts a little more," he advised. "Your mind is far too open and that can lead to much unnecessary ado."

"Is that so?" Hermione asked. "My mind is so open that you can read all of my thoughts will little effort? Her eyebrows lifted a little towards the tip of her forehead as though they were challenging him for an answer.

"Yes, I can."

"Then tell me, what am I thinking now?"

Severus blushed before smiling vaguely, two small wrinkles bracketing his thin mouth that was twitching slightly at the corners. "No you don't Hermione," he said in reply to her thoughts. "Or else, you _wouldn't_, if you knew what I have done."

"You took the mark," she agreed, "and yes you've done some terrible things. But one has to look beyond that and seek some sort of reasoning for these actions."

"There is no plausible reasoning for joining The Dark Lord, Hermione. No reason can compensate for it and _nobody_ can seek absolution for such an action; especially from one as pure as you."

His voice was shrill and Hermione could more than sense his unease with regard to the subject; but she had to persist for the sake of _them._ Nothing could transpire between them until she knew the truth.

"Then tell me _your _reason," she said, taking his face in the palm of his hands and scouring his face for such an answer. "Tell me and we can move on."

Severus sighed before nodding in agreement; they simply had to be truthful with one another he decided; if not for their friendship then for something potentially more. "Before I begin I should tell you that it has very little to do with Lily Evans as others may believe…"

"But-"

"No buts," he said. "She said no and I got over it. It was a childish thing anyhow and I should have foreseen that we bode nothing more than friendship."

"Okay," she settled disbelievingly.

"Are you aware of the name Lucius Malfoy?" he asked bluntly.

Hermione shivered at his mention of the blonde haired wizard who had hurt severely her the previous year in the Ministry of Magic and left her with a number of scars, both physically and mentally. Somehow, it seemed so predictable with hindsight that the origin of Severus Snape's hurt was that particular older wizard, and yet Snape's mention of his name still rang somewhat unexpected to Hermione.

"Vaguely," she lied shaking all thoughts of Draco Malfoy's father out of her head.

"Then to provide you with a basic knowledge of the man, Malfoy is older than I and is a very persuasive member of the Dark Lord's ranks."

Hermione nodded; of course, she already knew all of this.

"As you probably already know," he continued, "the Dark Lord specifically targets those with certain areas of _expertise_ and demands them to join him and aid his _cause._"

"Unfortunately, Malfoy passed on information to him with regard to my Potions and DADA abilities, and thus I was placed top of his list to be the next branded."

"Of course," Snape sustained quickly and honestly, "I was sorely tempted by the overzealous offers of wealth and power presented to me, but after deep thought and consideration I declined; I was neither a killer nor a man of darkness who could cope with such acts and I would earn my success through hard work and dedication, not deceit."

"As you can imagine, the Dark Lord did not take my rejection very well and he forced Malfoy to persist in his attempts to lure me. Soon, when he realised that I could neither be bought nor tempted, the Death Eaters turned to the primal use of emotional blackmail and threatened to kill my family."

Hermione clasped her hands over her mouth in dismay but Severus continued, unfazed by her outburst. It seemed that once he had begun with his explanation of his truth, he could not pause. After all, this was only the second time he had spoken of his not so distant past, and the first time was under the influence of Dumbledore's finest Veritaserum.

"Once again and like a fool, I ignored these threats. A week later my Father was murdered. This was not a huge loss for me, as I can regretfully say that I despised the man, but it did prove to me that I couldn't refuse The Dark Lord's _invitation _any longer. Under the impression that Dumbledore would protect me once I took the mark, I joined the Death Eaters, bound to serve the Dark Lord until his reign ceased."

"I never knew," Hermione whispered, her eyes glazed over and tears forming rapidly in the corners of her eyes.

"Of course you didn't," he snapped characteristically, looking over her with a sudden rush of curiosity. "Why would you?"

Hermione did not answer for she did not trust her voice. How could she keep her secrets locked inside and hidden from him, when he had just disclosed his innermost fears and coverts without any sort of trepidation or relent?

"Once again you've turned a nasty shade of white Hermione," Severus said plainly. "What on earth is the matter?"

"Nothing."

"Something is Hermione and I will not let you keep it from me like you did the other night. You stormed off then without plausible reasoning and now you look as though you are about to go for a repeat performance."

"I'm fine!" she snapped uncharacteristically, throwing herself to her feet and bounding up the spiralling staircase to her bedroom. She couldn't face him right now, and she couldn't look into his eyes and lie, but Dumbledore had instructed that she do just that and this mission wasn't about her and her feelings.

Sometime later and after giving her time to cool off, Severus retraced Hermione's footsteps up to their bedroom and tentatively stepped inside.

Hermione was curled up on her bed, wrapped in her bedcovers as a caterpillar would its cocoon and it looked to him that she would pop if they were wrapped any more tightly. He stepped over towards her and unravelled her from her linen enclosure without much resistance. Slowly and without much consideration for the conflict that had just transpired, he slipped into bed beside her, his arms wrapping securely around her waist and bringing her back to his front so that he was spooning her affectionately.

Gradually, she relaxed into his touch and wriggled to find more comfort against him. He nestled his face into her hair, listening as her breathing sought a steady rhythm and her heart began to beat just that little bit faster now that he was snuggled up beside her.

"I'm sorry," he whispered gently into her ear, inhaling the soft smell of cherry from her hair as he did so. "I shouldn't have asked you questions that you do not wish to answer."

She turned to face him, tears still damp against her cheek but her eyes now clear of any more on the offending salty drops.

"I wish I could tell you everything," she whispered, tracing a finger across the contours of his placid face. "But I just can't."

"I trust you enough to know that if you could tell me then you would," he said softly, returning her touch with that of his own.

"You trust me?" she asked in bewilderment. She had seldom known Snape to trust anybody other than Dumbledore, and so this notion of confidence highlighted to her that maybe what was about to develop was something as rare as his own ability to trust. Maybe it wasn't something to be ignored?

"Of course. Hermione I've never been this close to anybody before."

She looked deeply into his eyes from the short distance that she now found herself from him. The entire lengths of their fronts were touching, their faces mere inches apart as they lay their head on the same pillow, and their noses so close that although they were not completely touching, still brushed together every so often as they spoke.

"Nor have I," she replied gently. "And I don't think I ever want to be."

Severus' heart raced and his crotch twitched into life at her mere mention of a little affection for him. If he had been exposed to such a feeling before and he knew what the said sentiment entailed, Severus Snape may just have declared himself in love for the bushy haired girl before him.

"What are you thinking about?" Hermione asked; her voice a little raspy as she looked upon the younger form of her Potions Professor, who was looking wantonly towards her lips and lost deeply in thought.

He looked up from her mouth at the sound of her voice, casting the same wanton expression towards her receptive eyes that mirrored his own desire.

He wet his lips slightly with the tip of his tongue and blinked several times with what could only be described as beginner's nerves and anxiety. Slowly and unsurely he closed the minuscule distance between his lips and hers and kissed her very softly, waiting for some sort of response from the girl who lay beside him.

To his delight within a matter of seconds, and after adapting to the feel of his lips against her own, Hermione returned his kiss, as softly as his but more passionately so that he understood that she wanted what he did. There would be no room for any more apprehension or uncertainty now that things had well and truly been made irreversible between them.

Clearing her mind's protests to her body's steady movement with her younger Professor's and listening to her heart for the first time since she'd been in this time, Hermione deepened their kiss by slipping a gentle tongue into his happily obliging mouth.

He moaned quietly as she did this, revelling in the feel of her mouth upon his, her tongue against his, and her body wrapping around him gradually. He had become the blanket to which she was clinging onto before he had entered the room, he had become her protection from the secrets that they held and most importantly he was her shield from her pain that she so chose to conceal from him; he would do nothing to break this bond between them and he intended to keep her in his arms until morning light.

Severus rolled on top of her, careful not to press all of his weight up against her tiny frame as he did so and never breaking their kiss. She wrapped her arms around him once more before settling them onto his hips and pulling them down firmly to meet hers. She let out a gasp as she felt his firmness pushing against her.

"Do you want to stop?" Severus asked softly as he looked down on her, not sure himself what was there to be stopped.

"Things will change," she informed solemnly as she took in all of the undiscovered emotion in his eyes.

"I want whatever will come of this Hermione," he whispered, "I want you no matter what it changes."

"But what if I were to say that one day when you are older, you will more than likely regret this and will seek to blame me…deservedly so," she added quickly as a picture of a scowling adult Snape flashed before her eyes.

"How could I regret this?" he asked in hushed tones as he let his fingers trace the outline of her face. "How could I regret you?"

"It will happen," she stated sadly. "You will blame me for all that was."

"Was?" he repeated. "This will _always _be Hermione. I do not intend to let you go if and once you become mine tonight."

"In that case I will always be yours," she replied, hoping that this would one day come true. "Always and even when you no longer want me."

"Never," he whispered as he captured her lips in his once more.

* * *

**Review and let me know what you think...love it/ hate it/ think something could change? Let me know and I'll do my best! Oh and make note of what the title is and the day that Snape mentions. It'll become kind of important later on...**


	8. Alterations of His Past and Her Future

**Here's a little bit of a _love _scene...its only short and not too detailed, but I just thought it fit nicely...as always, let me know your thoughts :)

* * *

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**Chapter Eight: Alterations of His Past and Her Future**

Neither Hermione nor Severus had attempted to take things further from their teenage explorations of both their hands and their mouths thus far; yet both knew that by the end of the night their lives would be altered or shaped as a consequence of their coming together.

For Hermione, this mental journey from friendship to something more with the doppelganger of her Potions Professor, meant so much more than it would if it were being encountered with any other. By continuing to press her body's length up against his own, and by responding to the gentle caresses of his lips upon hers, Hermione was potentially altering not just her own life, or _their _lives, but more extensively the lives of a myriad of others in her past, present and possibly future.

For Severus however, this was merely the coming together of two people who he deemed were meant to be. Without disregarding the admiration and awe he felt towards the young woman beneath him and the peace he found within her, the consequences of his actions at that time were much lesser than hers, though the importance of the encounter itself as ever present in his teenage mind.

She was his first and he was hers; both as inexperienced as the other with regard to the opposite sex, and each formally known for their habitual desire to seek comfort in a large and almost unfathomable book, rather than the warm arms of another.

But, despite this unfamiliarity and the inexperience that they both held, the occurrence thus far for both, was neither uncomfortable nor awkward; and, as the pair of intellectuals as that they were, they seemed to memorise the others erogenous zones almost instantly and began to learn as any academic would: via trial and error.

"Can I?" Severus asked as he broke their kiss to begin the unbuttoning of the very top of her shirt.

"Don't ask," she whispered up at him, her eyes showing him that he had no reason to falter or feel discouraged, and that she was all his. "I trust you."

Severus smiled and placed a soft kiss on her forehead, pushing a long wayward curl out of her face as he did so. He remained still and admiring her face for a minute or two. "Beautiful," he whispered.

With her permission, (_a gentle nod of her head,)_ he then began his assault on her buttons; removing them slowly yet passionately, and exercising extra care to kiss every inch of exposed skin that he gradually discovered.

Once her shirt was shed, Hermione mirrored his movements by removing his Slytherin tie and throwing it across the room to where her own lay. She then began unbuttoning his shirt, sighing softly as the softness of his chest met that of her own.

Gradually, both were rid of all of their clothing and Severus lay atop of her poised at her opening. He looked down on her amorously; an expression that told a tale of lust, fear and apprehension ever present in his dark, never ending eyes, and a smile upon his lips.

They remained like that for what seemed like a blissful eternity; his weight perched methodically above her, their bodies touching at the crotch but not yet fully adjoined, and her hands rested on his hips, willing him to deepen their connection but not yet earning her the movement that she so desired.

"Do you want this Hermione?" he asked earnestly.

In reply to his answer Hermione pushed down harder with her hands so that his hips thrust forward and he slid inside her. She groaned as she adapted to his length and girth inside her and he gasped at the warm, tingling sensation he felt as he entered.

"Severus," Hermione whispered into his ear.

Upon hearing his name upon her lips for the first time, something seemingly sparked within him and he began to move inside her. As inexperienced with regard to such an act that he was, Severus' movements came surprisingly naturally and instinctively, and he soon learnt that by moving his hips in a circular motion every so often Hermione responded with the soft muttering of his name.

Something so otherwise futile as his own name about her lips meant an unbelievable amount to Severus Snape as he lay above the woman he had come to care for so much, his actions causing her to look up at him with warm brown eyes, pleading for him to make her cry out and lose her breath.

It was an erotic sight to see her eyes close with desire and her teeth nibble her lower lip as he altered his speed or force; it made him feel as though he was in control of her happiness and her pleasure, and both of these he wanted to ensure remained at their peak for as long as possible; thus, he never faltered with his movements.

Hermione had never felt something so wonderful in all of her life; the weight of the man she was beginning to deem herself in love with rested on top of her, the movement of him inside her and the smile upon his lips that reflected not only his happiness, but his concentration and determination to guarantee that she was enjoying the experience as much as, if not more, than he.

As their pace increased and their breath became more frantic, Severus and Hermione both simultaneously felt their pleasure heighten and their climax threaten to show and end their first night together.

As her stomach clenched and her walls tightened, Hermione threw her head back in delight but soon felt his hand upon her face, pulling it back towards his.

"I want to see your face," he breathed raggedly. "I want…to…see…" He trailed off as his own climax arrived.

"Say my name again," he said hurriedly, his mouth falling ajar in pleasure. "Say my name Hermione…"

"Severus!" she cried in reply as her orgasm hit and within seconds, he collapsed on top of her in a fit of shear exhaustion.


	9. In The Morning Light

**Chapter Nine: In the Morning Light**

"Go on then," Lily whispered quietly as she interrogated Hermione with a mass of enthusiasm and very little restraint. "What happened?"

Hermione pulled a disapproving face and crumpled up her eyebrows in rebuke; her eyes never leaving her page.

They had been sat in the library '_supposedly' _studying for McGonagall's end of term exam which was set for after lunch, but they had spent very little time revising and instead, Hermione was on the end of a repetitive grilling from her flame haired friend.

"Oh come on Hermione you're not even reading that book!" accused Lily as she jumped excitedly up and down on her chair, earning her a scowl from the already irate Madam Pince. "Just tell me what happened with you and Severus and then I'll leave you be."

"Nothing happened, Lily!" Hermione protested for the umpteenth time that morning. "We cuddled."

"You don't get love bites from cuddling Hermione," the red-headed witch indicted with an omniscient glint in her familiar green eyes.

Hermione subconsciously brought her hand to her neck and laid it atop of a red mark that emerged clearly from her otherwise pale skin.

"I knew it!" Lily screeched before sending an apologetic glance the Librarians way.

"_Shh_!"

"You slept with him! Oh Harry you naughty girl!" she added animatedly, ignoring the curious glares of the other study groups that littered the room.

Hermione scowled Lily once more to express her dismay towards their current train of conversation, but as predicted, the red-head did not falter with her excitement.

"Don't be such a scrooge Hermione, I'm your friend remember. You can tell me anything."

"Yes I can tell _you _everything," Hermione iterated firmly. "But your noise it making it so _everybody_ knows my business."

"Oh, right," Lily muttered apologetically as she clasped her hand over her mouth. "Sorry."

"And what _business_ might that be?" drawled a baritone voice from the shadows behind Hermione.

Hermione turned to face the intruder.

"Severus do you have to creep about like that!" she snapped. "You frightened me half to death."

"Well I wouldn't want that my dear would I?" he retorted softly as he bent his neck down so that he could place a suave but passionate kiss upon her accepting lips.

Hermione looked around nervously as she pulled slowly away from him to find a myriad of shocked eyes upon her.

"What?" Severus asked innocently deterring the glances of others with a stern glare of his own. "Am I not allowed to kiss my girlfriend in public?"

Lily rolled her lips together to stop herself from smirking as she observed the new _couple._

"G-Girlfriend," Hermione repeated unsurely.

"Well yes," he replied shortly. "Or did I dream the events of last night?"

Hermione blushed as she looked from her friend to Severus, and back again.

"Oh Hermione it's pretty obvious anyway," Lily interjected with an assured expression about her paled and freckly face. "You have a love bite on your neck, you can't concentrate on your revision, and if that's not enough to prove that you got some last night, Severus has smiled more times in the last minute than he has in his bloody lifetime! There's no need to be so coy."

The curly haired witch laughed despite herself and even Severus had trouble stifling a smile.

"So come on," Lily continued feverishly, "is one of you going to tell me what happened?"

"As I'm gentleman Miss Evans," Severus replied, his smirk contradicting his words, "I would never speak with regard to the relations between my lady and I."

"Ooh!" Lily teased. "Your _lady_."

"Do not mock Miss Evans, merely because Potter cannot provide you with such chivalries."

"What!" Lily roared, once again earning her a scornful look from this time not only Madam Pince, but also the rest of the room's occupants. "James is as much as a gentleman as you Severus Snape. I'll have you know that he is always modest with regard to our-"

"-exploits?" Severus interjected humorously.

Before Lily could retort Hermione raised her hand divisibly.

"Will you both stop it!" she snapped. "Seen as though Severus is now my _boyfriend_ and you are my best friend, you will both need to learn to get along."

Severus eyed Lily with a snarl as she scrutinised his stature.

"Both of you!" she stated firmly. "I want you to promise me now that you'll cease with this inane bickering and learn to accept one another."

"Hermione my dear, I would do anything for you."

"As would I," Lily sighed.

"So you'll agree to disagree and rub along nicely for my sake?"

"Yes," they both agreed emphatically.

"I see that you're already having quite a _profound effect_ on our student relations here at Hogwarts, Miss May," interrupted the rich Scottish tone of McGonagall as she stepped forth towards the trio with an unreadable expression about her aging but not yet aged face.

"Erm…is that a problem Professor?" she asked, hoping terribly that her question was not taken as insubordinately as it sounded.

"That is dependant on the guidelines that have been expressed to you Miss May," she responded; this answer sounding a complete riddle to Lily and Severus who were looking at their Professor incredulously.

"I don't wish to sound impertinent Professor," Severus initiated with a baffled expression, "but what on earth are you two talking about?"

"Something which has absolutely nothing to do with you Mr Snape," the Deputy Headmistress replied sternly.

Severus huffed loudly at her rebuke.

"Something to add Mr Snape?" she persisted courtly as his frown failed to fall. "Good. Then in that case Miss May would you care to follow me?"

Hermione frowned before following McGonagall, who had already set off, out the library. Clearly her invitation to follow could not be rejected.

"Professor!" Severus called to the older witch. "Hermione's supposed to be studying!"

"Tough!" was all she replied, her head never turning back to the seventh year Slytherin who was protesting her actions towards his Hermione.

McGonagall did not speak as they passed through the bustling corridors of Hogwarts and her only sign of communication to Hermione was when she pointed in the direction that they were to go next.

Finally, after what seemed a long, awkward walk, McGonagall stopped under the covering of a large, oak tree and took a seat comfortably on the bench which sat beneath it.

"Sit," she said softly and Hermione obliged.

"Hermione I should not have brought you here today and I definitely should not be conversing with you about your mission, but," she continued, "I feel I have to in order to prevent its cause drifting waywardly in the wrong direction."

Hermione nodded, not wanting to interrupt the woman who seemed so staid and intent on expressing her concerns and advice.

"Do you know what you are supposed to achieve from this journey my dear?"

"No Professor I don't."

"And therefore you do not know when you are doing what is expected of you and when not?"

"No and that is where my problem lies. I don't know where I am half of the time and whether to follow my instinct or run away with my logical qualms."

"Ah the mystery of instinct hereby arises," mused the older witch. "Hermione, what did Albus tell you before you set out on this escapade?"

"He said that I was to listen to my heart and to ignore my minds protests or reservations."

"And do you honestly think that the Headmaster knows your heart well enough to decipher your possible actions when in this time?"

"I'm not really sure," Hermione said thoughtfully. "That isn't something I have really thought of."

"But do you think that he could have foreseen what you heart has desired during your stay with us?"

"You're talking about Severus aren't you?" Hermione said with a sigh. "I knew that I was wrong to listen to the Headmaster on that one and I knew that my logic would always be the more sensible thing to listen to-"

"Hermione stop," McGonagall ordered politely. "I was not insinuating that what you and Severus are doing is wrong."

"So you mean that the Headmaster _meant _for me to fall for him?" Hermione shook her head dismissively in reply to her own question. "Of course he never. Severus and I could never be together when I go home, so what would be the point?"

"Think about it my dear," the Deputy Headmistress said with a small smile. "Think about what you have changed by being with him."

"Well that's just it Professor," she replied solemnly. "I haven't changed anything. He's still a Death Eater in training and he still has to traipse of to Voldemort in the middle of the night."

"And in your future Miss May," McGonagall pondered, "what would become of the world if Severus were not what he regretfully is?"

"I suppose the Order wouldn't have a spy, but still, I haven't altered that fact. He was a Death Eater when I arrived and he will be one when I leave."

"Indeed."

"So what is the point of me being here!" Hermione snapped uncharacteristically at the older witch's calm attire. "Why was I sent back if I cannot change what is or what was? I was meant to do something that would alter the future but I haven't. Instead I have merely altered the past."

McGonagall smiled as Hermione slumped into the bench in defeat.

"You know that I cannot disclose any details to you Miss May," she informed.

"So why am I here? Why bring me here only to confuse me even more than I already am?"

"Because I need to ensure that you are doing what you are supposed to."

"I don't know what I'm doing Professor, I've already said that," Hermione sighed. "My relationship with Severus, whether it be mere friendship or something more, has altered too much to be deemed a success. He is still a Death Eater and I am still his student when I return; if anything I have worsened the situation."

"I can tell you with delight that you are on the right track with regard to your mission here Miss May. You are doing exactly what you should be."

"I would hardly call sleeping with a Professor what Dumbledore had in mind," she snorted.

McGonagall's smile still never faltered and this confused Hermione.

"I must cut this conversation here Hermione, for I fear that I have already said too much."

"But you haven't said anything!"

"Until this afternoon Miss May," McGonagall said conclusively as she stood and straightened her robes. "Good day."


	10. Sentimental Value

**A.N: **I'd just apologise for any mistakes that I've made/will make with any chapter. I write and post a new chapter almost every day after work and so everything you see is a first draft and I tend to miss words out completely like a noob. Anyway...on we go...

* * *

**Chapter Ten: Sentimental Value**

It was the day before Christmas Eve and thus a day before Hermione had to return back to her time and leave her new life quite literally behind. The prospect of leaving those she had come to love raised the question in Hermione's mind as to whether she was right to allow herself to get so close to these people in the first place; surely the heartache would be less therefore when the time came to say goodbye.

But no she reminded herself, she _**had **_formed these relationships with not only Severus Snape but also the Marauders and most importantly Harry's parents; and so hence had no reason to regret such consequent entailments of the adventure that she found herself in.

James and Lily had been a breath of fresh air for Hermione since her arrival in their time, and although the compatibility of them as friends was probably due to the fact that she was so affable with their future son also, Hermione still saw them as nothing to do with to her friend Harry and loved them as the individuals they were at that point in time.

When all was said and done, Hermione Granger knew that she could look back with a newfound perspective of her life and those around her. Even if her mission for Dumbledore had become a complete failure, she could still return with her head held high and the knowledge of why and how the Marauder's lives turned out the way that they did. And although it pained her to acknowledge it, Hermione understood that there were certain people that she would ever see again; the only people who remained in her time were Severus and Remus.

The thought of leaving Severus behind pained her to the degree that she had spent many sleepless nights of shear upset as she lay beside him knowing that her time with him was running out.

Their relationship had truly blossomed since its consummation and they had found themselves spending almost every minute of their days together, sneaking kisses in dark corners whenever they could, and spending each and every night encased in each others arms.

Although she understood that he would not be physically dead like Lily, James and Sirius would be when she arrived home, Hermione did realise that the Severus she had grown to love would be effectively so to her. It was now apparent to her that Severus and Professor Snape were two completely different beings.

"Why so solemn?" Severus asked, running his fingers through her hair as they lay in bed together on the morning of December 23rd.

"I'm just thinking I suppose," she replied with a hearty sigh of sadness.

"About what?"

"You."

"And the thought of me brings you to near tears?" he asked as he looked down at her with an expression of feigned hurt.

"The thought of _leaving_ you does?"

"And do you plan on leaving me Hermione?" he asked accusatorily, a frown forming at the meeting point of his brows.

"I don't ever _want_ to leave you Severus, but one day I might have to." She had carefully tip-toed around his question and he had seemingly not noticed.

"I have no intention of letting you go easily my love," he said assuredly. "I promise you that."

"Nether have I, but like I said," she repeated sadly, "one day I might _have _to leave you."

"Hermione, my love, my angel, my big ball of misery and dismay," he teased as he kissed her forehead lovingly and she sighed into his touch. "It is the day before Christmas Eve and also of the Christmas ball, so please, stop with the gloom and enjoy the day as I intend to."

"Christmas ball?" Hermione started as she sat bolt upright, not bothering in her alarm to gather the bedclothes around her and cover her nakedness.

"Well yes," he said with a bewildered shake of the head. "As it is every year."

"No it can't be. The Christmas Ball is held the day _after _Christmas day itself, not the day before!" Her voice was frantic and this confused Severus.

"And where did you hear that garbage my dear?"

"Hogwarts a History," she lied very unconvincingly.

"Hermione May! Have you been buying text books from Shaun Shunpike? I told that ruddy man not to sell his counterfeit and unbelievably inaccurate books to anybody in this school ever again!"

"Severus my dear," Hermione alleged as she snuggled back into his bare chest and ran her fingers methodically over his pale chest; his reaction calming her qualms about not having bought a dress as yet. "You're ranting."

"That's because I don't like you being exploited by that disgrace for a wizard! He's ripped you off Hermione!"

"Severus I did not buy anything from Shaun and I can assure you that the only person I will allow to _exploit _me in future, Mr Snape, is you."

"And as much as I'd like to act upon that declaration right now my dear, I have Christmas shopping to do today. You're a hard woman to buy for you know."

"Oh Severus you don't have to get me anything," Hermione protested forcefully, with the knowledge that she would not be there on Christmas day to receive such a gift, at the front of her mind.

"My love," he responded softly, "this is our first Christmas together and I want it to be memorable. I want to spoil you rotten and prove how much I care for you."

"You know what becomes of spoilt children Severus," she waned, trying to add a little humour to her own solemn thoughts.

"We'll worry about that when it comes to our _own_ children," he joked. "But for now, let us enjoy what we have."

* * *

"So," Lily said as they entered the fourth bookshop that day, "how many bookshops are we going to have to traipse around before you agree that buying a book for your boyfriend is not very..._electrifying_."

"Severus and I love books Lily," Hermione replied informingly as if her friend hadn't already noticed that more than obvious fact. "I assume that he'll be as happy with a book as I shall be with mine come Christmas Morning."

"A book though Hermione?" Lily repeated. "It's just so dreary!"

"So what do you propose I buy him, hey?" she asked sarcastically. "A Quidditch broom, some aftershave, or just any other old rubbish that he won't use?"

"It isn't about the gift being _usable _Hermione. It's about its sentiment and meaning."

"Here," she added as she pulled Hermione into a jewellers. "See if you like anything in here for him."

"Jewellery? Severus never wears jewellery Lily…This is an absurd idea."

"I'm buying James a watch this year actually Hermione and he is going to love it. You see," she said firmly. "I'm going to get it inscribed with the date we got together to prove my love for him. Can a book really show such a thing or hold the same meaning?"

Hermione pondered this idea for a moment. It was true that she wanted Severus to feel loved and to be able to have something that he could keep forever, but the thought of her departure the next day made a book seem so much more appropriate and, well, _less_ sentimental. She didn't want him to have a constant reminder of her and how she had abandoned him.

"Good morning Miss," the jeweller said politely as he bound over towards Hermione and interrupted her thoughts. "Can I help you with anything?"

"I don't really know," she muttered as she looked around the room for some sort of inspiration. None came.

"Well, for whom is the item, Miss?"

"My boyfriend," she said thoughtfully. "But I wouldn't really say he's a _jewellery person_."

"Ah how unfortunate," the jeweller mused as he stroked his ginger moustache methodically. "However, people whom do not wear the delights of silver and gold should not be so easily classed as somebody who does not enjoy such treasures. For you see, maybe this boyfriend of yours has never been gifted with an item of jewellery before and thus has had no reason to wear any."

"That's actually very likely sir," Hermione replied.

"Well in that case, I suggest that we begin our search for something suitable to his tastes. Something maybe that reflects how you feel for him?"

"That seems like a good idea."

"Well firstly," the jeweller began, "I will need to know how you feel for this boy."

Hermione blushed a little as she struggled to decide exactly how she felt for Severus.

"Well do you love him?" the man asked as silence descended upon the room.

"Yes, I think I do. Yes."

"And do you cherish every moment you spend with him as though it could be the last?"

"Most definitely."

"And what sort of character is he?"

"He's your typical Slytherin sir," Hermione retorted with a smile. "He's dark, intelligent and cunning, yet unimaginably loving and compassionate when we're alone. He cares very much for those close to him."

"Well in that case, I think I have just the thing for you madam…"

… … …

"Oh Hermione he's going to love it!" Lily exclaimed as Hermione strolled around the Gryffindor common room, an unsure expression about her face.

"The dress or the gift," she asked humorously.

"Both!"

"Are you sure about the colour of the dress though?" Hermione asked, examining herself in the mirror. "I mean, emerald green isn't very '_Gryffindor_' is it? And I don't want to feel like a traitor."

"Oh don't be silly," Lily dismissed with a brief wave of the hand. "I wore green to the last ball and nobody batted an eyelid. Well," she added with a sultry grin, "James did."

Hermione giggled.

"That was the night we got together you know," Lily informed, her eyes glazed over in remembrance. "He whisked me quite literally of my feet. He's a marvellous dancer."

"So it's your one year anniversary tomorrow?"

"Well yeah, I suppose so. Oh Hermione, I do love him you know," she said amorously as she spun around on the spot, her hands clutched to her chest. "I hope that I can spend every Christmas with him until I'm old and grey. Infact," she added, "I _just know_ that one day when we're eighty we'll be spending our Christmas together with little Grandchildren running around our feet."

Hermione felt her eyes warm and her throat close over as Lily expressed her hopes for a future that was so different to what was actually going to occur.

"Ah Hermione there's no need to get upset," she teased. "James and I will invite you and Severus around for Christmas dinner too. We might even let you bring your _Einstein-esk_ children along with you."

Once more, Hermione broke down…


	11. Christmas Tidings

**Chapter Eleven: Christmas Tidings**

Severus scrutinised both himself and his attire in the full length mirror of the Slytherin Bathroom, contemplating whether he looked a complete fool, or instead and more optimistically, just a little bit handsome even if in an unconventional sense.

He ran his hands through his freshly cleaned hair for a moment before releasing it and allowing it to fall back into dark curtains around his pale face. It was far less lank and greasy than normal and it had taken great perseverance and potion experimentation to get it into such an acceptable state. But, he deemed any time and consideration that he had taken with regard to his appearance was for once worth it, as tonight was the night that he got to escort his Hermione to the Christmas ball and show her off to the rest of the world as his.

Due to this desire to impress the young lady who seemingly never failed to astound him, Severus had not hesitated to spend a large chunk of his savings on a lush and expensive dress robe. Madam Malkin had been the one to benefit financially from Severus' aspiration to wear the very finest, as she was the person whom had sold him the long, luxurious black robes and white pleated shirt that covered his body.

The outer robes that he wore were lined with dark-green silk and cut short at the rear just below his knee. Underneath these he sported a similarly silk lined black waistcoat and trousers which had a thin and almost unnoticeable grey pinstripe running down them, a white dress shirt and finally black bow-tie; he had never looked so presentable in his life and he was revelling in his improved, but still nowhere near handsome, appearance.

A brief smile flashed about his lips at the thought of Hermione's possible liking of his attire but it soon faltered as he remembered the small box which he had left on his bedside table back in his and Hermione's head student quarters. He wasn't supposed to return there until Lily gave him the signal that Hermione was dressed and ready, but he simply couldn't leave _that _lying around for the world and his wife to find.

* * *

"Severus!" Lily hissed angrily. "I told you not to come until she was ready!" The red-head's face was almost the same colour as her hair due to her current temperament but Severus was not intimidated by the scene before him. Instead, he had to stifle a smirk.

"I know, I know," he replied dismissively with a wave of the hand, "but I left something behind that I really need for this evening."

Lily smiled.

"What?" he asked defensively. "What on earth are you looking so bloody haughty about?"

"I don't suppose that this _thing _you left behind," she said thoughtfully as she rummaged in her bag for something, "happened to be in a small velvet box."

Severus' eyes widened in fear and his heart began to pound nervously.

"Give me that!" he snapped as he snatched the now found box out of the Gryffindor's palm.

"No need to snatch Severus," she teased in good humour, "what happened to you being a gentleman?"

"Probably the same thing that happened to your ladiness and good manner!" he retorted as he shoved the box into the inside of his robes furiously.

"Due to the fact that you didn't even comment on my dress," Lily sighed dejectedly, "you can't be labelled _that _much of a gentleman."

"What is it with your kind needing compliments and reassurance all of the time?"

"My kind?"

"Yes," he asserted firmly. "Women."

"Insecurity is a common disease amongst _my kind_ Severus," she informed, "and we need reassuring by our _gentlemen_ to cure our symptoms."

"And thus it is Potter who should comment on your attire and I Hermione's."

"Severus Snape," Lily berated, "you are an –"

"-Extremely dashing young man," interrupted a third voice.

All eyes turned to the newcomer as she slowly made her way down the stairs and into the sitting room, a mixture of awe and adoration in their eyes and their mouths ajar in surprise.

"Well that wasn't exactly the phrase I was looking for," Lily muttered.

"Hermione," whispered Severus in adulation as his eyes roamed her entire body with fever. "You look-"

"-Bloody brilliant," Lily interjected before Severus could finish.

Hermione smirked both at her friend's exclamation that sounded so much like Ron's would be in a similar situation, and also at her boyfriends loss for words.

"You look particularly dashing tonight Mr Snape," she said as she closed the gap between him and wrapped her arms adoringly around his shoulders. "And who is the lucky witch to have the honour of being escorted by your handsome self to the ball this evening?"

Severus froze as her eyes looked up to his.

"Well say something!" Lily screeched as she slapped him hard on the back. "Geesh Severus, what was I just telling you?"

"Breathtaking," he whispered softly whilst running his hands up and down the silk of her sides.

"Do you want me to leave you two to your own devices for an hour or so?" Lily joked. "I don't think Dumbledore will mind at all…"

Hermione blushed but Severus seemed far to unfazed by the other Gryffindor's sarcastic remark and rather too focused upon the woman in his arms.

He lifted one hand to the nape of her neck and to where her curls were gathered loosely up into a bun and pulled her face gently to his, resting his forehead ardently upon hers. She meanwhile, relaxed into his touch and allowed his lips to fall upon hers without any sort of rebuff despite Lily being only meters away.

"Riiiight," Lily drawled awkwardly. "I think I'll go to get James and give you two a little privacy."

"No, Lily wait," Hermione sighed reluctantly as she pulled away from Severus' protesting grasp just before her friend had reached the exit of their rooms. "We'll come with you."

"No you stay and enjoy it," the other girl replied earnestly. "Time isn't always so accommodating you know."

Hermione's expression fell completely from her face and was replaced by another describable only by the words_: harsh realisation_. This was her last night with Severus and her friends; tonight Dumbledore would call and send her home.

"Yes Hermione, Lily is right," Severus concurred. "We should make the most of this free time. It's not every day that we get an hour or so alone is it?"

"No that's true," she agreed, "but this is a special night tonight and I don't want to spend it stuck up in our quarters. I want to spend tonight with both you and my friends."

Severus' brow furrowed a little at this slight rebuke.

"Oh Severus don't get so disheartened about it. Of course I want to spend time with you _alone _but we can tonight after the dance okay?"

"Fine," he muttered and they set off down to the Great Hall where the remaining faculty were awaiting the Head Boy and Girl to begin the dancing.

* * *

Hermione felt a rush of exhilaration and pride surge through her body as Severus led her in through the grand oak doors of the Great Hall and all eyes fell upon them. She turned to the man at her side apprehensively to see how he was feeling as a result of their exceptional attention from all who graced the room, and to her delight, a wide smile played about his face and his black eyes sparkled with emotion. It was truly a rare and magnificent sight to see him so happy.

Severus did not hesitate to step forth into the midst of the large crowds; proudly leading Hermione, who was linking his arm securely, up towards Dumbledore and McGonagall who were obviously awaiting there arrival at the head of the room.

As was custom at this time of year, the Great Hall was over-zealously decorated with snow that was magically enchanted to fall softly from the ceiling, four large forest-size Christmas trees, each decorated by and in the colours of each house, and finally, the normal four tables that lined the room had been replaced by fifty or so smaller round tables, which were sat around a vast ice covered and candle lit dance floor.

"Ah Miss May," Dumbledore beamed capturing Hermione's otherwise wandering attention. "You look perfectly delightful."

"Thank you Professor," Hermione replied modestly as she accepted the kiss that he placed upon her hand, his beard slightly scratching her skin there.

"And Mr Snape," McGonagall added sincerely, "what a fine young man you are this evening."

"Minerva my dear, will you agree with me when I say that Mr Snape and Miss May make a fine young couple," the Headmaster stated as his blue eyes twinkled joyfully and his mouth twitched upwards into a small smile.

"Indeed," McGonagall concurred sending a grin Hermione's way as she did. "A perfect combination of character I think would be fair to say. Nobody in their right mind could reject their coming together."

Snape nodded a_ 'thank you'_ before turning swiftly to Hermione. He was not so accustomed to compliments as his partner was and so wanted to change the subject quickly to avoid his mounting embarrassment. "I think that we should open the dance shortly," he said chivalrously as a blush crept up his cheeks, "I believe that we've kept everybody waiting long enough already."

"Oh yes of course," Hermione agreed, noticing his sudden trepidation and wanting to do nothing to increase this further. "Is it custom for the Head Girl and Boy to dance together first?" she inquired.

"Only once they have had the honour of dancing with the Headmaster and Deputy Headmistress of course," Dumbledore informed with a soft smile. "Come my dear," he said as he took Hermione's surprised hand, "let us dance."

The gentle music opened the moment Severus, McGonagall, Hermione and Dumbledore hit the centre of the ballroom floor and all eyes fell upon the dancing couples with a myraid of different expressions about their faces.

At the Marauders table, Lily was looking upon the couples with awe and delight; James and Remus sported similar expressions but Sirius looked rather disgusted by the sight of Hermione and Severus casting loving glances whenever their eyes met from across the floor.

"Bet Snivilus is loving that," Sirius muttered sarcastically to Remus who shot him a dangerous glare in reply. "Bet you he's got a little thing for McGonagall; I've heard Death Eaters like older women."

"Just because Hermione didn't want to come to the ball with you Sirius, it doesn't give you the right to insult her choice of partner," Lupin reprimanded forcefully.

"Oh come of it Remus, she's with _Snape_!"

"And?" he asked rhetorically. "Sirius she is our friend and she's happy. Surely that's all that matters."

"Well _I'm not_ happy," Sirius groaned loudly. "Since when have I ever been rejected by a woman until now? Huh? And the blow was worsened by the fact that I was rebuked for snape; the greasy git who lives only to serve the Dark Lord."

"You have plenty of women that would be yours at the click of a finger, so I cannot believe for one moment that you are too bothered by the fact that this one got away."

"I just don't want her with Snape!" the dark haired wizard said forcefully.

"When are you going to learn that love is worth so much more than your stupid, and quite frankly ludicrous abhorrence towards a man who seeks no harm?" Remus asked firmly. "

"No harm!" Sirius repeated. "He's a Death Eater not the bloody Tooth Fairy, Remus!"

"Oh give it a rest Sirius mate," James interupted with a sigh as he watched Hermione and Severus begin their dance together and separate from Dumbledore and McGonagall. "Hermione loves him and she is our friend. Get over it and move on."

"How can you just sit there and say that!"

"Because you're being an arse!" Lily interjected, becoming the final member of the group to support the new couple. "Severus has treated her with such a kindness and love that you could never even imagine you big lump. So please," she added, "please don't ruin our night by waffling on and on about Severus Snape. You're boring us all!"

Sirius '_harrumphed' _in reply to this group decision with regard to the man whom he loathed so much, and scraped his chair painstakingly loud against the hard floor as he stood.

"I'm going to find my date," he snapped sulkily, "seen as though once again I've been rejected for Snape. I never thought I'd say this to you lot, but you've really let me down."

Nobody bothered to reply to Sirius Black, for they were all far too busy watching Hermione and Severus spin around the dance floor, her head rested lovingly on his shoulder and his arms wrapped securely around her waist.

Love was so evidently emanating from them both and radiating around the room...

* * *

**_Only one more chapter before we leave the young Snape behind and face his elder self..._**


	12. Three Little Words

**Chapter Twelve: Three Little Words**

"Oh my Severus, I'm positively exhausted," groaned Hermione exasperatedly as they finally took their seat at the Marauders table after hours of dancing.

"Surely you can spare the energy for one more dance," he replied, pushing his bottom lip out and expressing his disappointment at her polite rejection.

"My feet feel like their going to drop off," she protested further whilst her hands massaged her ankles vigorously.

"Now I seriously doubt that my dear."

"Yeah Harry," Lily concurred, "stop being such a drama queen and give the boy a dance. He looks simply miserable when he's forced to sit here with us lot, and from the puppy dog look in his eyes, it's clear that he is more than desperate to whisk you around the floor one more time."

Even James had to nod in agreement to this statement. "Come on Hermione. It's not everyday Snape gets a girl to come the ball with him."

Lily elbowed her boyfriend hard in the ribs in reply to his words and he soon keeled over in agony, clutching his side.

"Fine," Severus conceded with a sigh at Hermione's silence. "If you will not dance then at least let me escort you home."

"Aww the gentleman re-emerges from the dark façade," Lily teased before roaring with laughter.

"Exactly how much punch have you drank this evening Miss Evans?" Severus inquired with one eyebrow raised slightly above the other. "For I could not understand a single word of that slurred remark."

Lily giggled furiously, answering his question without actually speaking.

"She's drank a lot Severus," James replied for her as he scrutinized his hyperactive girlfriend with a curious expression.

"Ah. I can see that you'll be having a troublesome remainder of the evening Potter if Miss Evans has anything to do with it," the dark haired wizard returned with a small smile. "Anyway," he continued more seriously as he turned to Hermione and offered her his hand; "we should be leaving my dear."

"I guess we should," Hermione replied solemnly as she stood, holding the firm belief that this was probably the last time that she'd see her new friends.

"Lily," she said softly to the still giggling witch, "Severus and I are going now."

"Sure didly Harry," the redhead replied boisterously in a sing song voice. "I'll see you in the morning when Santa's been! Ooh I'm so excited!"

Hermione's head drooped sadly. "You be careful getting home alright," she instructed as she wrapped her arms around her friend and kissed the top of her head. "I love you so much Lily Evans and you've been a fantastic friend to me."

"And you," she continued to James as her eyes began to well up and her voice to falter, "you just look after my girl okay?"

"Of course I will Harry," the young man replied as he returned Hermione's embrace despite Snape's snarl. "I'm a proper gentleman remember?"

Hermione chortled softly. "Keep safe and remember that your trust should be distributed carefully."

She knew what she was talking about, but Lily, James and Severus seemingly did not. Their confused expressions told her as much.

"Either that's some strange cryptic message and you're some sort of pre-warning seer, or you've had too much to drink as well," James laughed heartily. "And I'd bet my life that it's the later!"

"For once I agree with Potter, my love," Severus interjected. "What on earth has gotten into you this evening? You'll see them both in the morning so stop with the overzealous farewells and come with me."

Hermione glared at Severus before conceding to the idea that she probably looked both rather ridiculous and drunk at that moment; when realistically she knew that she was neither.

"Come on then mister," she said to Severus as she took his hand. "Lead the way."

Once she turned from her friends, she knew that she could never look back…

* * *

"Severus, where on earth are you taking me?" Hermione asked as he led her by the hand into a large gathering of trees and along a gravel path. "I thought we were going home to bed."

"I want to give you something," he replied, his pace never waning as he guided her through the clearing. "Just follow me and stop asking questions."

They carried on walking for just over five minutes and until they found themselves at the entrance of the garden that he had led her to when they first began to acknowledge their feelings for one another.

"I thought you said you only come here to vent your frustration," she asked worriedly. "Have I done something wrong?"

"Not at all," he whispered in reply as he lowered the wards and the stone gateway slid aside to reveal the familiar sanctuary that lay beneath a clear star strewn sky. "And I said last time that I come here to contemplate my emotions or to ponder on any thoughts that are bothering me."

"So this isn't a break up meeting?"

"Of course not you great big hippogriff," he chortled, pulling her close to him beneath an outstretching blossom tree. "Why would I abandon the woman I love?"

"The woman you…_love_?" she stuttered. "Severus I-"

"Shh," he whispered, placing a long finger against her quivering lips. "Hermione May, I love you."

"I never expected to ever hear those three little words to escape your lips," she replied softly as she kissed his finger and the tears welled up in her eyes. "And you don't know how happy they've made me."

Severus smiled and brought her entire body into a warm embrace. "I love you," he whispered again into her ear. "I will _always_ love you."

"I love you too," she whispered back gently before kissing his neck passionately. "Just remember that in years to come."

"How could I forget?" he asked.

"Just promise me," she repeated firmly. "Promise me that you'll know that you are loved and even if I'm not here, that you'll never feel alone."

"Hermione I promise," Severus sighed, inwardly wondering what had made her act so melancholy that evening when it came to her strange requests and declarations. "Now I want to give you something," he continued slipping his hands into his robes seemingly searching for something.

"No wait," she interrupted, grabbing his hand and ceasing its movement. "Let me go first." She could sense her time was running out before Dumbledore sent for her.

"But-"

"-No Severus," she said firmly, cutting his protests short. "I need to go first."

He sighed in defeat and it was now her turn to search the lining of her robes for something. His eyes shone with curiosity as she pulled out a small black box no bigger than an ink pot in width and a fingertip in depth.

"Here," she said as she passed him the gift. "I wanted to give you this before I…_before_ _Christmas_," she corrected quickly.

"Oh no I'd rather wait until tomorrow," he dissented gently, handing her back the gift.

"No. Just open it please."

Severus frowned at her bluntness but nevertheless obeyed her strange yet stern command and began opening the box. He lifted the lid to reveal a gold bangle lying top of a small velvet cushion.

"Hermione it's beautiful."

"Read the inscription," she instructed ignoring his compliment for fear of her time quite literally running out with him. It was almost midnight; she did not have long left.

Severus lifted the bangle from its resting place and tilted it up to the moonlight so that he could read the four words engraved on its inside.

"Diligo. Usquequaque. Victum. Frenum?" he inquired. "That's Latin right?"

"Yes."

"And are you going to tell me what it means?"

"No. I want you to figure that out for yourself," she replied before closing the gap between them and raising herself up onto her tip-toes to kiss his lips.

"You're a good person Severus," she whispered as she let her palm fall onto his chest and rest above his heart. "Don't ever feel as though you are not because you are such a wonderful man."

"Don't Hermione," Severus said softly as his gaze fell sadly to the floor. "I'm not a good man and my mark is proof of that."

"You are not like the others Severus!" Hermione snapped fiercely. "You are not so tainted with their darkness, and their hearts do not beat the same way as yours does. _You are not one of them_."

"Hermione before I met you I was heading down that one-way street to darkness but you saved me. You brought me back to life and back to the light of the good. Without you I would not be the spy that I am now; without you, I doubt my heart would beat as it is doing."

"Without me Severus, you can still be this brave man you are now."

"Without you Hermione," he corrected firmly, "I would be nothing."

"That's not true!"

"Yes it is! Why can't you see that you are the only pure thing in my life and the only thing that keeps me from The Dark Lord's temptations of power and prosperity?"

"But if I am not here that does not mean that I do not love you Severus. You will always have my love and therefore no reason to return to the dark ways."

"I need you _with_ me every day Hermione, so that I can be reminded of what I am fighting for; I don't want just a memory in my heart, I need the real you in order to remember why I am risking my life and soul for the Order."

"But I won't always be here to remind you Severus!" she cried. "I won't always be able to hold you and take away the pain, but that does not mean that I am not with you in your heart."

"This conversation is futile," Severus sighed, ignoring her reiteration of the same point as he felt her anger and frustrations mounting. "I did not bring you here for an argument."

Hermione wiped the unshed tears from her eyes and nodded in agreement. She did not want her last memory of him to be of a dispute.

"I wanted to ask you something Hermione," Severus moved on nervously as once more he searched his robes for that small little box. "And I wanted to give you this."

Just as his hands fell upon the box in his pocket, a large tawny owl swooped between him and Hermione, knocking him to his feet and landing gently on Hermione's shoulder.

"What on earth-" he spluttered angrily standing to his feet and brushed off his robes.

"It's Dumbledore's owl," Hermione informed, her voice raucous with emotion and fear.

Reluctantly she untied the letter from the owl's left leg and unravelled it to reveal three little words scrawled in Dumbledore's untidy script: "_Time has arrived."_

"Hermione you've turned awfully pale," Severus said concernedly. "Is everything okay?"

"I've got to go," she whispered throatily, as the tears flowed uncontrollably from her eyes. "_Severus I have to go_."

She turned and sped away from him, her feet pounding on the rocky path beneath her and her heart constricting within her chest. She couldn't stop, she couldn't look back, but she wanted to; she wanted to stay with him and never to go back to where she knew she belonged.

"Hermione wait!" Severus cried as he finally caught up with her and pulled her powerfully towards him.

She turned to face him as his arms wrapped around her waist, pulling her even closer to him so that their was no space at all between them; her were eyes brimming with emotion and her mind was telling her to just run to avoid this silent farewell. But she couldn't…that indecipherable look in his eyes meant that she couldn't. "Severus I-"

He bent down to kiss her lips passionately cutting her sentence short. It was minutes before they broke apart again and when they did both had fear etched upon their faces. "Go," he whispered solemnly, his eyes now also filled with tears. "But remember that I will _always_ love you."

"I love you too Severus," she rejoined as she kissed him once more firmly on the lips, wondering briefly if he knew where she was going. "I'm sorry."

She turned once more away from him and towards the castle before resuming her sprint, never once looking back to Severus who had now crumbled into a heap on the floor, his cry audible even to Hermione who was now too far away to return…


	13. A Reluctant Farewell

**Chapter Thirteen: A Reluctant Farewell**

"I trust that all of my prior instructions were followed Miss May and you stuck to my decision of secrecy?" asked Dumbledore to Hermione who was sat curled up in her usual seat, her eyes staring into space.

"Yes," she sighed bitterly. "I did not say goodbye if that's what you mean."

"Miss May I know that this must be difficult-"

"-Difficult!" she interjected fiercely. "I've just had to abandon those I love Professor!"

"I appreciate-"

"No!" Hermione bellowed. "I don't think you do."

Dumbledore let out a long exasperated sigh to express his concern for her current state of mind, his eyes affixed upon her as he stroked his long beard thoughtfully and sucked vigorously on a sherbet lemon.

"Forgive my abruptness," she said finally after a moment of awkward silence. "I just don't want to leave."

"I'm afraid that you do not have a choice my dear," the Headmaster retorted as sternly as he possibly could without sounding too uncaring. He truly did feel for her and he wished that there was an alternative.

"Can I stay here Professor?" Hermione asked sincerely, her brown eyes probing his blue ones that lay dull and sombre underneath the glass of his half moon spectacles.

"You know that you can't Hermione. What about your friends back in your time? You cannot simply abandon them."

"And what about my friends here?" she asked wildly. "What about Severus?"

"Attachments of the heart were to be expected as an outcome of this mission, but from now forth they must regretfully be _unattached._"

"So I am to just forget them?"

"No of course not. You may visit you memories of them in a pensive whenever you wish, but you have your own life to live: The life of Hermione Granger."

"And what if I do not want to be Hermione _Granger_? What if I want to remain as Hermione May; the girl who loves her life?"

"What you _want_ is simply unobtainable. Hermione May does not exist. Surely you understand that?"

"But I will remain in my friends memories," she argued. "Therefore I_** do**_ exist."

"No," he said austerely. "Only as Hermione Granger do you have a place in this world."

For what seemed like the millionth time that evening Hermione burst into tears.

"Here," Dumbledore said sympathetically handing her a bowl full of spherical yellow sweets. "I find that a sherbet lemon helps at times like these."

Hermione took one appreciatively and placed it into the pocket of her robes.

"Professor Dumbledore. Sir!" Hermione cried as the Headmaster pulled her time-turner out of his top drawer whilst she was preoccupied by the sweet and turned it once, twice…

"I'm sorry Miss Granger," he whispered. "The time has come to depart."

"No!" she yelled loudly forcing herself up and out of her chair abruptly. "I won't go!"

_Fifteen turns, Sixteen…_

"I'm sorry," Dumbledore whispered again as he stood from his chair on the nineteenth turn and threw it over her neck. "I'll look after him. I promise…"

"NO!" she cried hopelessly, but it was too late. The world around her swirled into darkness and she soon heard the mumbled voice of another replace the silence that had so quickly descended.

"Miss Granger! Miss Granger!"

"No!" she screeched. "No I don't want to! Please don't make me go. I love him!"

Hermione opened her eyes slowing, desperately hoping that she was not delimited by the cluttered office of the elder Dumbledore, and rather the tidier of the younger. But as her eyes customized to the light, it was a grey haired wizard who stood over her as she sat in her usual chair, not the ginger/grey one she had hoped for.

"Miss Granger its okay," he assured gently, his arms wrapping securely around her and rocking her until her sobs lessened but not quite ceased. "I'm here, you're safe."

Hermione relaxed into his embrace and rested her chin on his shoulder, her eyes closed tightly to numb the pain that she felt course uncontrollably through her.

Eventually she opened her stinging eyes slowly as her breathing regulated and her tears ceased. As she scanned the room bit by bit for some sort of evidence that she was back in her time _(as if the sight of a suddenly aged Dumbledore wasn't enough)_ a shadow in the corner of the room caught her gaze.

"Severus!" she cried, as she attempted to wriggle from the Headmaster's unfaltering grasp. "Severus!"

His black eyes fell upon her wide with fear as she called his name, over and over again.

"Please Severus!"

He turned sharply on the spot and strode forcefully away from her and out of the office, slamming the door firmly behind him.

Once more Hermione collapsed onto the floor into a mess of hysterical tears…

* * *

"Miss Granger, please," Dumbledore begged uncharacteristically. "Please speak to me."

She remained silent, her eyes affixed upon the wall behind the Headmaster's head.

"Professor Snape doesn't mean to be malicious; this is difficult for him."

Still Hermione's silence did not waver.

"He is your Professor and he cannot distinguish between his professional thoughts and that of his eighteen year old self."

"I think I want to go to my rooms now sir," Hermione mumbled almost inaudibly.

"I don't think that it is wise-"

"I want to go."

Dumbledore's head drooped sadly in defeat. "Fine," he whispered softly. "But before you leave, I should inform you that due to the lateness of you departure from the past, it is not infact the date that I predicted your return would be."

"If you're talking about me missing Christmas," she sighed. "I do not care."

"Well no," Dumbledore corrected, downtrodden by her melancholy state. "Actually you have arrived home earlier that I thought. It is not yet Christmas Eve."

"What!" Hermione exclaimed as she suddenly jolted into life. "It can't be."

"I do not know why or how Miss Granger but the date is December 10th," he elaborated further, genuine confusion etched upon his face.

"That does not make sense."

"Neither does time Miss Granger and this therefore, I cannot explain."

Hermione's mind suddenly went into intellectual overdrive and she momentarily forgot about Severus, his past and her whole adventure.

"So I have lessons to attend tomorrow?" she asked, still unsure about this whole series of events.

"Hogwarts is still in term time yes," the Headmaster answered. "But you are not expected to attend until after the New Year."

"Oh no," Hermione protested. "I'll need to keep my mind of things so I shall be attending my lessons."

"Even potions?" Dumbledore asked curiously, his blue eyes twinkling dynamically.

"_Especially _potions."

* * *

**_This was short I know, but it is intended to be the separating chapter between the past and present so it wasn't supposed to be more than 1.5k words. Anyway, thanks so much for all of your fantastic reviews and as always, the next chapter will be up tomorrow. :)_**


	14. Disastrous

_**An especially long chapter for Ambara...**_

* * *

**Chapter Fourteen: Disastrous**

It had been a day since Hermione had returned home _(not that anybody had noticed her departure in the first place) _and in that day she had done almost nothing but take numerous walks around the lake with Ginny; her unsuspecting substitute for Lily Evans.

Hermione had decided earlier that morning that she needed somebody to talk honestly to, and taking into account that Dumbledore hadn't mentioned that she shouldn't tell anybody about her experiences in the past, she deemed the red headed witch a suitable person to share her thoughts with.

"And the boys have no idea that you went?" Ginny asked as she tightened her scarf around her neck to reduce her skin's exposure to the cold winter's air.

Hermione sighed sadly. "I wish I could tell them," she countered. "But I just don't think that I can trust them. Well not it's not so much a matter of _trust…_oh I don't know what it is!"

"It's okay I understand," Ginny concurred considerately. "Harry would never stop with questions about his parents – _understandably so,"_ she added quickly, "and it wouldn't do him any good knowing what you now do."

"That's what I thought at first, but now I'm just not sure."

"Harry has enough on his mind at the moment, Hermione," Ginny reminded delicately. "He doesn't need any more distractions."

"I suppose you're right. I will tell him though, once this war is _dead and buried_."

"Bad choice of words 'Mione," Ginny giggled.

"Oh gods yeah sorry!"

"So," the red-head continued as they embarked upon the path back up to Hogwarts. "Who else did you meet on your _travels_?"

"Well, I met the Marauders obviously," Hermione replied with a small smile at the mention of her old/new friends. "Erm, the younger selves of our Professors, including McGonagall who is so very flirtatious and enticing in her earlier years by the way, and I also met Professor Snape."

She mumbled the last name of her list and Ginny was quick to notice this.

"And what was that tone of voice for?" she asked inquisitively.

"Nothing," Hermione dismissed as she tore a leaf up nervously into tiny pieces and threw them onto the path beneath their feet.

"Hermione Granger I know you well enough to know when you are lying!" Ginny accused. "So come on and tell me why you said Snape's name like that, otherwise I will be forced to hex it out of you."

"You wouldn't dare!" Hermione exclaimed.

"Try me."

There were a few moments of silence in which Hermione contemplated telling her best friend about her _encounter_ with her Professor's younger self and physical doppelganger.

"Fine," Hermione sighed in defeat. "I'll tell you, but if you even mention this to the boys, I will hunt you down and tear you apart!"

"Ooh feisty," Ginny teased humorously earning her a soft slap on the arm from her friend. "So, were you two friends or something then?" she asked more seriously after an instant of deliberation on both parts.

"Yes I suppose we were," Hermione mused.

"You _suppose_ you were, or you actually were?"

"Well yes, _we actually were_. It was complicated."

"Why don't I like the sound of this Hermione?"

"Oh please don't hate me Ginny," Hermione begged gently.

"Hate you for being friends with Snape?" Ginny asked rhetorically. "Hermione, why would I resent you befriending a person who is both your intellectual and spiritual double? I've always seen similarities between Snape and you anyway, so it was strangely inevitable that you'd end up making friends with his younger being."

"Ginny," Hermione admitted quietly with a long, nervous sigh. "Snape and I weren't _just_ friends."

"No way!" Ginny exclaimed, her eyes wide in amazement. "You and Snape!"

"Me and Snape," the darker haired girl answered with an unreadable expression playing about her pale face.

"Shit me!" came the vulgar reply from the younger girl. "How on earth did that happen?"

"We had to share a room as Head Boy and Head Girl and I suppose I just fell for him; As cliché as that sounds."

"But it's _Snape_. You knew that he was your Professor and that he would recognise you when you returned so why still do it? What on earth did Dumbledore say? And oh my god have you seen Snape yet? What did he say? Oh my god, oh my god this is madness!"

"One question at a time Ginny," Hermione giggled at her friend's sudden rush of colossal excitement. "I'm still a little confused about the whole scenario myself, so please don't make it any worse by bombarding me with your millions of questions."

"You've just told me that you've been fucking Snape, or _Professor Snape _should I say_,_ and you expect me to just lie down and take it – _pardon the pun_," she added with a large grin. "Of course I'm going to ask you bloody questions."

"First of all," Hermione reprimanded sternly, "I did say anything about _fucking _anybody!" She whispered the cuss word as if it were Voldemort's own name being said.

"Of course you did!" Ginny indicted.

"Well yes we did have _relations_ but that is beside the point Ginerva Weasley!"

Ginny clasped her hand over her mouth and squealed loudly whilst revolving on the spot like some sort of crazed ballerina.

"Oh will you calm yourself down!" Hermione chided. "Do you want to hear the story or not?"

"Of course I bloody do you daft witch, come on, get on with it and don't miss out any of the gory details. I want to know everything."

"Well, to answer your many questions from before," Hermione began as her mind attempted to memorize the younger witch's previous enquires, "Dumbledore told me to follow my heart not my head from the off and so would have had no right to criticize anything that I did which involved my emotions; McGonagall basically agreed with the Headmaster by saying that I was right to let myself fall for Severus and yes," she added finally and more solemnly as the tears began to form in the corners of her eyes, "Professor Snape was there when I returned but he practically ran out of the Headmaster's office to get away from me."

"Wow!" Ginny gaped.

"Indeed," Hermione replied as she dried her teary eyes with the cuff of her robes.

"So what are you going to say to Snape when you see him? What do you think he'll do?"

"I don't know what I'm going to say to him to be honest and that's what I'm scared about. For me this whole episode was quite literally yesterday but for him twenty years have passed since. He's changed and he's learnt to live life without me. I mean, what can I possibly say to the man of the boy I used to love?"

"You could tell him that you still love him," Ginny retorted earnestly. "Surely he loved you too?"

"I am almost certain that he truly _loved _me," Hermione corresponded, "for he told me often enough, but I honestly doubt that he would still. I'm just his insufferable N.E.W.T student with bushy hair and overly large front teeth."

Ginny laughed despite herself and the pessimistic train of conversation. "Firstly, you do not have bushy hair or large teeth! Your hair is simply _unruly_ yet beautifully curly, and as for your teeth, they are perfectly adequately proportional to your mouth."

"And," the red haired witch continued as she placed her hands concernedly on Hermione's shoulders as they reached the bustling Transfiguration Courtyard and ceased their movements, "he fell in love with you as you are now and were then. You have not changed."

"No but he has. He's a fully grown man Ginny."

"And?"

"_And_," Hermione repeated sadly, "what on earth would he want with an eighteen year old school girl?"

"Yes your right," Ginny sighed sarcastically as she continued her journey through the castle. "What on earth would a lonely man want with an astute, intelligent, beautiful and caring young woman who loves and worships the ground that he walks on? Geesh Hermione," she added, "open your bloody eyes."

* * *

"Hermione!" whined Ron as he bound into the Gryffindor common room scratching his ginger head confusedly. "Where's my class timetable?"

"How on earth am _I _supposed to know Ronald?" she replied with a loud tut whilst shaking her curly head absentmindedly. "How many times have I told you to put your belongings away in their correct place so when the time comes for you to use them, you know exactly where they are!"

As she sat in her armchair, a large book in hand, Hermione pretended to be annoyed by Ron's reliance on her for the location of his things, but inwardly she couldn't help enjoy this usually annoying conversation as she had truly missed all of her friends and their aggravating habits.

"So just how the bloody hell am I supposed to know what lessons I have!" he groaned further as he scoured the room for the misplaced piece of paper, but clearly from his mounting frustration having no such luck.

"It is almost two months since school started after the summer Ronald," she reprimanded, her eyes never leaving her page, "you should know your time table off by heart by know, which is why the Headmaster gives us a piece of paper at the start of the year rather than tattooing it permanently to our foreheads!"

"And since when did you get so sarcastic?" Ron accused agitatedly whilst continuing his vein search for his time sheet. "If you carry on with that malarkey you'll be worse than Snape, so nip that annoying habit in the bud before it spirals out of control."

"Thanks for those words of wisdom," Hermione retorted as she pondered whether her time with Snape had caused her to adopt some of his more frustrating habits, and hoped that if that were true it were not too apparent to others.

"Now," she continued, diverting her thoughts away from Snape and towards her schooling, "_I'm_ off to double potions."

"Well why didn't you bloody say so earlier?" Ron cried. "I've just wasted half an hour searching for that ruddy piece of paper whilst a human timetable is sat right here under my nose."

"I did just 'b_loody say',"_ she mimicked impatiently. "Now come on, I don't want to be late on my first day back."

"Hermione have you gone completely barmy?" Ron asked upon noticing her slip of the tongue. "First day back?"

"Oh shut up picking holes in everything I say and get yourself into gear. Harry's meeting us in the dungeons and it will simply not do to be late!"

"Yes Miss," the young wizard replied sardonically and they set off for their first class of the day.

* * *

With her eyes cast anywhere and everywhere but the front of the ominous dungeon classroom, Hermione entered the room with Ron and Harry at both of her sides and took her customary seat on the second row of workstations, which were already equipt with bubbling cauldrons of base potion.

"Do you mind if I work with Neville today?" Harry asked Hermione as she began unpacking her school bag and organising its contents on the wooden desk before her. "I promised him that I'd help him out with his essay."

"No not at all," Hermione replied, her attentions wandering enormously from the boy's information of who was partnering who for the lesson.

"Okay then great," Harry returned as he strode off to the other side of the room and Neville. "See you at lunch."

"Looks like it's just me and you then," Ron said joyfully and with a large smile as he sat down in Harry's seat.

"Mmm," was all Hermione replied as she searched her bag for her quill.

"Silence!" bellowed a loud baritone voice from the apex of the room, causing Hermione to jolt upright suddenly and almost wobble of her stool. She buried her head back in her bag in embarrassment as a series of giggles circulated around the room.

"Now," Snape drawled in his usual cold, stern tones as he paced the front of the room and tapped his wand against the blackboard behind him. "In today's lesson we will be experimenting with the viscosity of Dragon blood to see how it affects the over all strength and intensity of an ageing potion."

A succession of loud whispers emanated from the back of the room to the front, as a small gathering of people began to discuss their excitement with regard to this task set by the Professor.

"Quiet!" drawled Snape disdainfully, and immediately the conversation ceased.

"This lesson is neither meant to be fun nor exciting, and is rather a specific requirement of the ministry of magic's potions syllabus. As such," he added, his black eyes falling upon Neville and Harry, "there will be no foolish behaviour or silly experimentation, as the incorrect brewing of this specific potion no matter how humorous, can cause serious damage to the body's cells."

"Excuse me, Professor Snape, sir," Harry interrupted; his arm aloft in the air as he asked the rather futile question. "So we are to change the viscosity of the potion to see how it affects the outcome?"

"Is there a parrot in the room?" Snape snarled sardonically as his eyes roamed the room sarcastically. "Ten points from Gryffindor for wasting all of our time by repeating everything I just said!"

Harry groaned loudly.

"And another five for your insubordinate noise!"

Now the entire section of Gryffindor students in the room sighed loudly and turned to snarl Harry; much to Snape's delight.

"The ingredients and also the method required are written on the board. You have an hour and a half to complete the task. Any questions?"

For once Hermione did not raise her hand and instead kept her eyes cast low to her desk.

"Not even from our resident insufferable know-it-all?" Snape hissed venomously.

Still, Hermione did not look up.

"Nothing to say Miss Granger?"

Silence descended once more upon the dark room and everybody sat with baited breath for Hermione to at least nod her head in reply to the Professor's question.

"No? Good," he snapped, answering his own question with as much malice as he had asked it, "because I think you have already plagued us with enough your irritating questions to last a thousand life times."

Ron tensed angrily beside her, but she placed a gentle and reassuring hand on his arm to show that she was all right and that he need not explode and lose yet more Gryffindor points.

"What are you waiting for?" Snape snapped promptly. "Get on with it!"

The lesson passed agonisingly slowly for Hermione as she attempted, with shaky hands, to complete the potion before Snape reached their desk to inspect her and Ron's work. He was only a couple of desks away and she still had to add the final asphodel leaf to the concoction.

"'Mione are you alright?" Ron asked, as he clasped her trembling hands between his concernedly. "You're shaking."

"I'm fine," she lied as nervousness of her forthcoming encounter with Snape coursed through her body.

"When you are quite finished expressing your nauseating love for one another," Snape interrupted sternly as he stepped prematurely before their station and glared at their adjoined hands, "I'd like you to explain to me why your potion is even worse than the diabolical attempt of Potter and Longbottom."

"It's my fault sir," Ron lied before Hermione could speak. "I told Hermione that I wanted to do the experiments myself and I completely balls-ed up."

"Well that's a fair way of describing this mess I suppose," he retorted. "Still," he continued harshly, "you have both received zero for this assignment and will report separately to me for an hour's detention after dinner this evening."

"Weasley," he informed sharply as he bottled their potion. "You will spend seven until eight o'clock scrubbing the cauldrons and Granger, you will spend the following hour organising my store cupboard."

" But-"

"No buts Mr Weasley," he chastised firmly, his black eyes not once meeting Hermione's for fear of what would happen if they did. "You will arrive promptly and serve your time as instructed. Failure to do so will only quadruple your punishment."

For the second time in as many days, Severus Snape stormed away from Hermione without uttering a single word...

* * *

**A.N:** To all those who have said so, I abhor time travel fics too but I just wanted to at least try and write one :D


	15. What's Done is Done

**Chapter Fifteen: What's Done is Done**

His head was a complete and utter mess of confusion and anger towards his situation and the girl who had plagued his dreams for almost twenty years. As he sat at his desk, _(once Weasley had left the room after his detention,)_his head in his hands and a glass of whiskey sat on his desk beside his elbow, Severus Snape began to reminisce upon his teenage years and specifically the couple of months spent with the brown haired doppelganger of his seventh year student.

It had been so long since he had seen or heard from Hermione May, but he had since been taunted by Hermione Granger every day for the past seven years. He had known of course, the moment that she entered the Great Hall that September, that something was not right about the whole situation; For unless the first year girl with unruly brown hair was his old love's daughter, she was too analogous in appearance to be anybody other that her herself. It was a confusing set of circumstances.

As Miss Granger grew into the woman he now taught thrice a week, Severus quickly began to realise that the possibility of Granger's almost identical form to Hermione May's being purely down to inherited genetics was almost impossible; thus, he eventually voiced his concerns to the Headmaster who returned with very little information with regard to this bizarre situation, even though Severus knew that Albus understood every little in and out that there was to be known.

He had cried in the Headmaster's arms that evening five years ago as the pieces of the puzzle began to fall into place, and the reasoning behind Severus' past finally became clear to him. Albus had elucidated how he devised the plan to send his student back to Severus's youth and how he had predicted that the two like-minded souls would fall for one another and hence effectively alter the younger man's past.

The repetitive knock on the wood of his door brought Severus and his thoughts back to the present; with a shake of the head and one final gulp of his Firewhiskey for courage and composure, he called for the visitor to enter.

"Come in!" he snapped impatiently and gently the door creaked open.

Trepidation was etched upon her pale face as she stepped tentatively into the room and made her way forth through the shadows up towards his desk, her eyes never meeting his as she did so.

"There are instructions written down on a piece of paper in my store cupboard and they are to be followed during this detention," he began coldly, his eyes never leaving the empty glass which he held between the palms of his hands. "You are to do as they say and then leave. If the procedure takes longer than the allotted hour then so be it. You are to stay until all of the set tasks are completed."

Hermione nodded gently, not trusting her voice for fear that it may crack and falter under the pressure of her unruly emotions.

Once she had entered his store cupboard and shut the door gently behind her, Severus slumped back into his chair and rubbed his left palm agitatedly across the light stubble of his cheek before using his thumb and forefinger to massage the top of his nose. He wished he knew what to say to her, what to do or even what to think, but the truth was that he was lost. He was no longer that seventeen year old boy again and no longer able to look at her as he did before, but the fact remained that he was the same person, with the same heart and the very same soul. He was stuck in some perverse sort of emotional limbo with no sense of direction whatsoever.

The hour passed very quickly for the man submerged in his own mental pensive and it wasn't long before he was required to enter that small room that she was in and finally look her in the eyes. He didn't want to stare into those brown eyes and see the woman he used to love, he didn't want to go in that room and smell the smell that he used to fall asleep smelling, and most importantly he didn't want to be alone with her for the first time in two decades.

Gathering all of his strength and the courage that three glasses of Firewhiskey brought, Severus stood nervously to his feet, straightened his robes and pushed open the store cupboard door. She jumped nervously as he entered knocking an undersized vile onto the floor as she did so.

"I'm s-sorry."

"Move," he snapped as he picked up a cloth from the side and wiped the spillage up. "Stupid girl."

When he stood again they were mere inches apart, their eyes meeting and their hearts racing.

"Sev-"

"Don't!" he bellowed, throwing another vile across the room and causing Hermione to flinch as it hit the wall and smashed into a myriad of pieces. "Don't you dare!"

"Then what am I supposed to say to you?" she asked nervously.

"Nothing," he roared. "Do not say anything!"

"So we're to just ignore this are we?" she questioned angrily. "We're supposed to just hope that this goes away!"

"There is nothing to ignore Miss Granger," he retorted sardonically. "So move out of my way and let me past."

Hermione remained defiantly in the doorway, refusing his access to his classroom.

"I said move!"

"No," she replied calmly. "Because this won't go away Severus and unless we address it it will only grow into something worse!"

"I said **don't**!" he roared once more, his black eyes flashing wildly and his pupils dilating as a result of his growing anger.

"It was yesterday Severus!" she cried, ignoring his rebuke. "Yesterday you took me to our garden and you told me you loved me!"

Severus punched the wall angrily behind her head, wincing as the pain hit and the blood trickled down his knuckles.

"No Miss Granger," he hissed. "Twenty years ago I made the mistake of taking a young girl down to _my_ garden and telling one Hermione May that I loved her."

"I'm the same person as I was, why can't you see that!"

"Move out of my way Miss Granger before I strip every point from your wretched little house and assign you detention with Filch until graduation!"

"You really think I care about house points and detention when you're stood here in front of me!"

"You have three seconds to move of your own free will before I regretfully _make _you move!"

Both were screaming at the other now and both were frustrated.

"Three, two, one…"

He sighed in defeat as he reached this final number before pulling his hands out from his robes and shoving her backwards from the doorway. She stumbled a little as he forced her out of his way and stormed into the door which led to his office; she followed suit of course, not wanting to give up so easily as he.

"Get out of here!" he hissed. "You have no right-"

"Don't you bloody talk to me about _rights _Severus Snape!" she growled in return as she made her way over to the desk in front of which he was pacing and leant gently against its edge. "It was yesterday to me that all this happened and it's hard to see you so resentful towards me."

"It was twenty years ago Miss Granger!" he returned loudly. "Twenty years!"

"For you maybe, but it was yesterday for me and remember it so."

"I was a child Miss Granger who did not know what he was doing."

"You were eighteen and exactly the same person you are now. Fine, tell me that you would change things if you could," she ordered. "Tell me that if you could you'd wish me out of your past."

Severus sighed heartily.

"You abandoned me," he whispered his back still to her as he avoided her question. "You just left."

"I didn't want to leave you Severus!" cried Hermione. "I begged Dumbledore to let me stay with you-"

"-Of course you couldn't bloody stay you stupid, stupid girl!" he bellowed as he turned to face her. "You weren't even supposed to be there anyway!"

"I don't know why I was sent back Severus, I didn't even _want _to be sent back," she retorted earnestly, "but I was. What's done is done and to be honest, I don't think I'd change any of it. You made me happy for the first time in a long time and you loved me."

"I was oblivious to the facts Miss Granger!" he screamed back. "You were not the person you made out you were."

"By name no, I wasn't," Hermione concurred. "But in here," she said as she placed her hand on her heart, "in here, I'm the same person. I still love you."

He launched a textbook across the room in his anger, which only narrowly missed her head.

"I'm your fucking Professor!" he bellowed causing her to wince slightly in alarm. "You're my student you stupid little girl and none of this is right."

For the first time that evening Hermione did not have an answer to his statement. Of course he was her Professor and she his student; that much was undeniable.

In the far corner of the room Severus slumped down the wall onto the stone floor and brought his knees up to his chest. Nervously Hermione crossed the room and sat down beside him, taking his reluctant hand in hers.

"I'm sorry for what I did," she whispered soberly. "I had no right to mislead you when I knew of the future consequences."

He turned to her slowly, his black eyes searching hers for some evidence of sincerity; of course he found it there in masses.

"For twenty years I thought you were dead," he whispered gently.

"But I thought that you understood where I was going. That night I saw you fall to the floor. I heard you cry."

He shook his head dismissively. "Yes I knew that it was the last time I'd see you, but I did not think that that would be because you were from a different time and had to return. The thought never crossed my mind. Why would it?" he added.

"Why then? Why were you so upset? How did you know you wouldn't see me again?"

"Because I knew that The Dark Lord had a plan to kill you."

"Me," she stammered. "Me, why?"

"Because I had refused to kill a muggle born family the night before and he wanted to punish me."

"But I left without a word and so he didn't get me. I was okay."

He huffed loudly. "And who do you think was blamed for your little disappearance huh?" he asked bitterly. "Who do you think is _still _punished regularly for your vanishing act?"

"I never knew…"

"Why would you?" Severus replied pulling his hand from her grasp.

"I didn't think."

"No," he concurred, "you didn't. For the first time in your life you didn't think logically and as a result my life was turned on its head."

"Dumbledore said-"

"Fuck what Dumbledore said!" he returned bitterly. "That old fool had no right to meddle with my life, or yours for that matter."

"My life is better now though," she replied gently, her brown eyes searching his. "I am thankful for what happened."

Once again Severus huffed in disbelief.

"You really have no idea do you?"

"No I probably don't, but what I do know is that I fell in love with you and that I told you that I always would love you."

"And what now?" he asked sardonically. "You expect me to still feel for you as I did all those years ago? You expect me to just pretend that it never happened and forgive you?"

"I don't know what I want," she sighed sadly.

"Miss Granger how do you think I felt when I realised what had happened? How do you think it was for me seeing a child version of the woman I loved every single day? How disgusted with myself do you think I was when I saw you at the Yule Ball in your fifth year and wanted to take you right there and then in front of everybody? You were a child and I lusted after you! How do you think I felt?"

"I'm sorry!" she screeched as the tears flowed swiftly down her cheeks and she stood up to get away from his accusing eyes. "What more can I do!"

"We cannot change what has happened Miss Granger," he said more softly than before, as he too stood and closed the gap between them. "I cannot alter my memories and I cannot erase you from my past."

"But you wish you could?" she cried. "You wish you could just eradicate me from your thoughts don't you?"

"I wish," he sighed. "I wish things were…_different_."

"Fine!" she cried cantankerously. "I'll leave you like you want me to and I'll stay as your insufferable student until graduation when you will never have to see me again."

"I never-"

"No!" she yelled, cutting him off mid-sentence. "You don't want me anymore I understand that. You've grown into someone that I don't think I know and somebody who gave up on me too long ago. You have your wish," she said as she left the room. "I'll walk away from you like I did before. Goodnight _Professor_."

* * *

_For those of you who still don't understand this complicated story yet..._

- Dumbledore knew that he had to send Hermione back into the past because his memories from his younger self had told him that a student had returned

- From the moment HG arrived as a first year SS knew that something was not right

- He asked Dumbeldore about HG in her second year when he realised that she was not Hermione May's daughter but actually his old love.

- He had pretended up until her return that he resented her because she was a "know-it-all" but really because he was frightened of what had happened

_Hope that helps :)_


	16. I Try To Say Goodbye

**Chapter Sixteen: I Try**

It had taken him three days since their confrontation to decide that he couldn't leave things as they were between he and his student, and so that evening after dinner he set out to find her. She hadn't attended any of his lessons that week, Potter explaining to him in her absence that she was 'ill,' and he had rarely seen her at meal times. Seemingly the only way he could speak with her was if he ventured up to Gryffindor house and entered the Lion's domain for the first time in years. It was not something he was eagerly anticipating, yet he knew it had to be done in order to resolve certain issues.

"Ah Miss Weasley," Severus said as he passed the young witch on the way up to her house, inwardly thanking Merlin for the fact that he probably needn't enter his rival house anymore. "Is Miss Granger in your common room?"

"No," came the short, sharp reply as she continued her decent down the spiralling stone staircase, not stopping to elaborate.

"Erm excuse me Miss Weasley!" he called back to her. "Where are your manners?"

"Probably in the same place as yours," she snapped venomously. "Lost forever!"

"Twenty points from Gryffindor for your rudeness and another five for failing to address me as Professor!"

Ginny snarled him and carried on walking.

"Please do not take your hormonal issues out on me Miss Weasley," Severus snapped sardonically. "And I suggest that you quickly tell me where I may find Miss Granger before I assign you a month's worth of cauldron scrubbing with Filch."

"Hermione does not wish to be disturbed, _Professor_," Ginny replied bitterly. "Thus I will not tell you where she is."

"I am a Professor Miss Weasley, and you will do well to remember that. I don't know what Miss Granger has told you, but I suggest that from now on you keep it to yourself and mind your own business."

"I don't think I can do that Professor," the red-headed witch retorted defensively. "You see, Hermione is my friend and she has just had her heart torn from her chest by a useless, cowardly lump of a man, who is so capricious that he cannot see past the end of his extraordinarily large nose!"

Severus' mouth fell open in alarm but the younger witch merely smirked and turned her back on him once more.

"One hundred points from Gryffindor!" he bellowed angrily down the staircase.

"Tell that to someone who cares!" she returned furiously.

Severus was well and truly startled by this ostentatious show of female support and 'sticking togetherness.' It was surreal and he had never seen anything like it never mind experienced it first hand.

"Is everything okay Professor?"

Severus turned to face the newcomer and his lip curled in disgust as he realised who was stood before him.

"Yes Potter everything is fine," he spat sarcastically. "Your little bit of skirt has just lost one hundred and twenty five house points for your wretched little house, so as a Slytherin I am positively ecstatic."

"I apologise for Ginny sir," Harry groaned. "We've just had a little _disagreement_ so it would be best if you take everything she said with a pinch of salt."

"If you tell me where I can find Miss Granger," Snape bargained menacingly, "I will be less inclined to invite Miss Weasley's parents up to school and suggest that the reasoning behind her poor behaviour is infact her involvement with you."

"Hermione?" Harry repeated, ignoring his Professor's threat. "Why do you want her?"

"I don't _want _her Potter," Snape snapped, "I merely wish to know where she is."

"Is everything alright, sir? Is Hermione okay?"

"Just answer the question Potter," he spat. "Where-is-Miss-Granger?"

"Well she said something about going for a walk in the gardens, but to be honest I think that she's gone a bit loopy because there isn't any gard-"

"Shut it Potter!" Snape snapped impatiently before striding off towards the ground floor.

* * *

He was a little reluctant at first to lower the wards of that now ivy covered stone wall that cloaked the garden, for he hadn't had the courage to enter it since the night she had left. He had tried of course, to re-enter for the sake of his potions ingredients that grew there, but he had finally deemed it best not to return again, lest not without her, as it held far too many memories of their time together; Memories which it would not do to remember for fear of their potential tormenting of his already confused soul.

Just as he was about to turn away from the garden's entrance and give up on any hope of finding Hermione there, Severus heard the scuffling of feet followed by the soft sound of breathing, which soon turned his attentions back to his old place of sanctuary. With a large intake of breath to steady his nervously quaking body, he drew his wand and muttered an incantation that he thought lost in the back of his mind, and to his surprise, the door slid cleanly open as it had the first day it created.

As the door gradually revealed more of the garden, Severus began to see the overgrown state that it was in. The flowers that lay in the flower bed in the far corner had multiplied ten-fold since he had planted them, the grass grew now as tall as the middle of his thigh and finally, the blossom trees at the very back of the garden, still in full bloom, appeared to shelter at least half of the entire area. They were positively gigantic.

He weaved forward through the tall grasses, using his hands to push them back from his body, but with no such luck, as he edged his way towards the blossom trees under which they had spent their last night together. Under which he had never got to ask her the question that hat plagued his mind since they had first got together.

That's when he saw her. Her back rested upon the bark of a pink blossom and her eyes closed tightly in thought. Her breathing was shallow as though she was exceptionally calm or otherwise asleep, and as he approached her she failed to stir or even acknowledge his arrival.

"What do you want?" she asked bluntly, her eyes never once opening to check that it was her Professor and her body not moving at all in recognition of such a fact.

"I wanted…I wanted…" he drowned out.

"You don't know what you want do you?"

Severus sighed and sat down gently beside her.

"I understand that things cannot be the way they were for you Professor," Hermione began, her eyes still closed, "and so I've decided to simply give up on hope like you have."

"I have not given up on anything-"

"-But you have," she interjected forcefully, finally opening her eyes in frustration. "You've decided that you cannot fight for what we had. What we could _still _have. But," she added softly, "I accept that for I always knew that this would happen."

"If that were so then why am I here now?" he asked with a raised eyebrow. "If I cared so little then why would I have bothered coming her to check that you were…_coping_."

"You've come here," she replied, "because there's still that young man in you telling you that you're a fool."

"Possibly, but I'm most definitely not that young man on the whole. I'm someone completely different, as you reminded me the other evening."

"I can see that."

"And that's frustrating," he sighed heartily. "Because the truth is Miss Granger, is that when I try and say goodbye I choke. When I try to walk away from you I stumble."

"Well then you need to decide what you want, because I won't be reeled in and then pushed back aside," she stated firmly.

"And what if I don't know what I want? What if I want to just forget any of this happened, but what if when I do and you're not with me, my world crumbles around me?"

"I don't think I want a shadow of my Severus," Hermione said astutely as she stood and brushed off her robes. "The Severus I know would give his life to fight for something he believed in but you just seem to falter…to stutter."

"Can't you see that that is due to twenty years of coldness and the absence of life: of you!"

"You know," she replied gently, "I've been thinking about this whole situation for almost a week now and it's clear to me that you're not who you once were. I would be prepared to give up everything I know for you, for us, but you've already said that you don't want me."

Severus did not know how to retort. Did he reply as the man and Professor he is, or the young boy that he was?

"Good day Professor Snape, sir," she called over her shoulder as she began her journey through the tall grass and towards the exit. "We shall return to normality tomorrow as you requested."

"Hermi-" His throat closed. He just couldn't bring himself to call her name for fear of what might change if he did. _Oh how the roles had reversed…_


	17. Touch

_I couldn't remember where or how those lyrics got into my head but I thought they sort of fitted their situation…he wanted to walk away but he couldn't…anyway, I appreciate your thoughts as always and I'll do my best to keep those pesky lyrics out. Thanks for all of your fantastic reviews once more…they keep my little fingers typing away before I go to bed :)_

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* * *

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Chapter Seventeen: Touch

Christmas dawned very quickly since her last encounter with Snape and Hermione soon found herself lost in the tumultuous whirlwind that was the Weasley's annual festivities. As they had done every year for the past seven, Mr and Mrs Weasley had invited Harry, Hermione and all of the Order Members to their home for a post Christmas Dinner party.

It was the first year that Hermione had been without her parents, following their murders the previous year, and thus she was eternally grateful to have a substitute family in the form of the red headed clan. Dumbledore (who was a naturally paternal type of wizard anyway), had somewhat adopted her as his own and had been making a fuss over her as this day grew nearer. It seemed that Hermione Granger had more family now than ever before.

"How do you like the jumper then my dear," asked Mrs Weasley as she poured a glass of wine for Hermione. "Does it fit alright?"

"It's wonderful Mrs Weasley," Hermione replied gratefully. "Possibly the best gift I've received this year."

"Oh my dear you are a sweetie," cooed the older witch with a large smile about her rosy face. "What did the boys buy you?"

"Well," Hermione began, trying not to giggle as she recalled her gifts, "Harry bought me a book on the twelve uses of dragon's blood (_'how predictable' _she inwardly thought) and Ron, well, Ronald thought it'd be rather humorous to buy me some naughty lingerie."

Mrs Weasley gasped. "Are you two, you know…"

"Oh gods no!" Hermione protested a bit too forcefully taking into consideration that she was taking to the boy's Mother. "I mean, we're just not…_compatible._"

"So why on earth is he buying you smalls?" Mrs Weasley asked, her confused state only being added to by the large glass of wine she was sipping devoutly.

"He seems to think that it's about time that I, and I quote: _"embrace my femininity!"_

"Oh Merlin that boy has simply no idea, does he?" giggled Molly furiously.

"None whatsoever," interjected a soft male voice.

"Oh Severus my dear!" exclaimed the red headed witch suddenly as she threw her arms tightly around the newcomer who stood in the doorway of the room. "You came!"

"Indeed," he replied simply as he returned the warm embrace.

"But you always refuse my invitations point blank and make up some excuse up about how you can't leave your potions to stand whilst you attend," she said, accusation slightly present in her voice. "So what on earth has changed your mind this time?"

"Well let's just say that I feel as though I have _reason _to attend this year," Severus replied, casting a glance over to Hermione who was sat at the dining table, her arms folded tightly across her chest. "I've found a purpose."

"Well that's wonderful Severus my boy," Molly beamed. "Are you going to tell me what it is?"

"All in good time Molly, all in good time."

"Hermione," Mrs Weasley cried excitedly as she turned to the younger witch. "Hadn't you better be getting yourself ready? The others will be here in half an hour or so and the party shall begin."

"I didn't really think I had to dress up-"

"-Of course you do dear!" Molly interrupted after a loud tut to express her consternation. "It is Christmas and we are all to change into our finest clothes to celebrate such a joyful occasion. Why even Severus will be getting changed, won't you?" She turned to him with a probing expression that meant that her question was rhetorical.

"Indeed," he retorted calmly, inwardly cursing the woman's rules for tradition.

"Wonderful! Now, Hermione you are to get changed in Ginny's room and Severus you can do so in Ronald's. If there is anything you need do not hesitate to ask."

"Thank you Molly," Severus said politely. "Your kindness is as always, remarkable."

Molly blushed profusely. "Hermione," she instructed, "you show Severus to his room for me my dear whilst I set up the music box in the marquee."

"But-"

"No buts Hermione," Mrs Weasley interjected. "Just show Professor Snape to his room and then go and get changed for the party yourself."

Hermione sighed disdainfully. "Come on then Professor," she said coldly as she turned towards the staircase in the corner of the room. "This way."

Severus followed as she ascended the creaking staircase, taking care to stay close to her but remaining far enough behind that they never once touched or bushed against one another accidentally.

"Your room is down here to the left," she informed callously whilst showing him the direction with an outstretched finger.

"And yours?" he asked casually as he stepped onto the landing.

"Opposite yours but I don't believe that will be of any importance to you, _Professor_."

"No of course not," he responded firmly. "I was merely curious."

With that they both turned to their respected doors and stepped inside their rooms to change; neither looking back towards the other.

* * *

After half an hour of readying herself for the upcoming party, Hermione slipped on her emerald green heals and stood scrutinising herself in the mirror. It was a familiar sight as she stood there in the very same green dress and shoes that she had for her _first _Christmas of that year; her Christmas with the Marauders.

As it had been the week before when she had attended the Christmas Ball with a young Severus at Hogwarts, Hermione's hair was pulled loosely back into a slack bun, a myriad of wayward curls falling graceful at her shoulders and down her bare back. She pulled one infuriating curl out of her face and sighed as she swiftly felt an absence of the joy that she had felt prior to the last party she had attended.

Then, Lily had helped her get ready and Severus had come to escort her to the hall. Now, she was alone with only her own self-consuming thoughts for company.

"Miss Granger," called a baritone voice from outside of her closed door. "Are you decent?"

"Yes," she replied simply, her heart racing as deja-vu hit. It felt to her that if she opened her door now, a seventeen year old Severus would be stood outside like he was before, waiting with an awestruck expression to usher her to the ball.

"Well then may I come in?"

"Erm…I er…" she trailed off. _Did she want him to?_

"Please," he continued, his voice muffled slightly due to the barrier of the locked wooden door.

"Yes."

She took a large intake of breath to steady her racing heart as the door to her temporary bedroom creaked open and the dark haired wizard stepped inside. Her head dropped a little in disappointment as she realised that it was her grown Professor who had entered her domain and not the young man whom she wished for.

As Severus closed the door behind him and turned to face her, a powerful rush of memories and emotions flooded over him. His heart leapt in his chest as his eyes fell upon her in the very same dress that she had worn twenty years ago. To him she had not changed and it was like looking at her through a pensive rather than the reality of his much older eyes.

"You look…"

"Thank you," she responded politely, even though he hadn't actually complimented her as yet.

"Is that _the _dress?"

"The very same."

"You look…"

"-I look what Professor?" she asked impatiently, her use of his title bringing him back to the painful veracity of how they'd drifted apart and removing him from his seventeen year old brain.

"You look…perfectly acceptable," he muttered with a sad sigh of defeat.

"As do you sir," she rejoined courteously as she looked over his smart dress robes which reminded her very much of those he had worn as a young man.

Severus held out his hand politely for her to take and she accepted it gracefully. He pulled her closer to him and she linked his arm as he did so; it was all so very familiar as they stepped out of the room, ready to join the other party-goers in the marquee that had been set up in the Burrow's garden.

Their journey down to the garden was a silent one, in which neither knew what to say to the other or even if to say anything at all. As they reached the opening to the huge, bustling, white tent, from which loud thumping music was emanating from, Severus finally turned to Hermione, his eyes filled with unsure emotion and his lips twitching as a result of his apprehension.

"I just want you to know," he began gently as he placed his hands gently on her hips, sending unintentional shivers through her body, "I just want you to know that I…"

"Ah Professor, Hermione!" interrupted the loud booming voice of a very tipsy Ron Weasley as he stepped between the pair and embraced them both (much to the darker wizard's dismay.) "What on earth are you two loitering around out here for?" he asked as he tried to control his alcohol induced swaying. "Weren't getting any secret snogging done were you!" He burst into hysterical laughter but neither Hermione nor Severus thought it in the slightest amusing.

"How much have you had to drink Mr Weasley?" asked Severus sternly in his best Professor tone.

"Did Hermione tell you what I bought her for Christmas?" the young red head asked, completely ignoring his Professor's question and causing his friend to turn a similar colour to his hair.

"No Mr Weasley," Severus sighed impatiently. "She did not."

"Do you want to know then?" he whispered rather loudly as he placed his forefinger drunkenly on his own lip and looked around to see if anybody was eavesdropping.

"To be honest Mr Weasley," Severus replied bitterly as a surge of jealously, (due the closeness of this young man and Hermione,) coursed through him, "I don't care, but still I am almost certain that you are going to tell me anyway."

"I bought her linge…linger…what's that word again?" he asked his professor as he struggled to remember the complicated word for his very drunk mind.

"_Lingerie_, Mr Weasley. Lingerie."

"Ah that's it!" Ron exclaimed.

"What a very self-indulgent gift to buy your _girlfriend,_ Mr Weasley," Severus said bitterly. "I suppose that you will enjoy your gift anyhow."

"Are you kidding?" Ron giggled mindlessly. "'Mione wouldn't go near me with an overly large barge pole!"

"Oh really," mused Severus thoughtfully as his expression turned from jealously to intrigue. "And why is that Mr Weasley?"

"She's got a thing for intellect you see Professor," he whispered in reply as though Hermione could not hear despite being only a foot away from him. "To be honest, I think she'd be more turned on by a man reading her Hogwarts a History than him prancing around naked covered in baby oil!"

"Is that so," Snape deliberated with a small smile. "Miss Granger, do you have anything to say in reply to this accusation of Mr Weasley's?"

"Yes actually I do," she spat angrily. "You two are both complete arses who would never get the chance to see what actually _turned me on_ and what didn't anyhow."

"Actually," Severus said as he stepped forward and whispered in her ear so the younger man could not hear. "I happen to remember exactly what turns you on, Miss Granger. Infact," he furthered in soft tones as he ran his finger down the nape of her neck and she shivered in response, "I happen to recall, _that_, sending you _over the edge_ on more than one occasion."

Hermione relaxed into his touch before Ron brought her back to reality.

"I'm going inside," he stated. "It's bloody freezing out here!"

"I'll come with you," Hermione relied as she pushed Severus firmly off her. "I think I've had more than enough of standing out here wasting my time."

* * *


	18. One Fine Wire

**Chapter Eighteen: One Fine Wire**

He'd been watching her all evening, watching from his table as she danced with friends with such a vigour and fever that he had seen so many years ago, and there were so many comparable features to the evening that he was lost in and the one twenty years prior, that it broke his heart to think of them in too great a detail.

She danced to the strident music with as much, if not more, wild energy than her drunken friends, yet he had seen her politely refuse every offer of alcohol that had been sent her way all evening. It was although she didn't need her mind to be distorted and under the influence in order to have a fabulous time, and it pained him to see her so happy without him even though he could not perceive what was really going on inside her head.

Hermione was hot and tired as she flew around the dance floor with Ginny, Harry, Ron, Neville and Luna, but she felt as though she had to keep going to prove to him that she _could_ live without him the way he had without her for the past two decades. He didn't discern, but every time she turned his way, she'd watch him over Ginny's shoulder whilst she was dancing the red-headed witch to the loud pulsating music which roamed through the marquee without reserve.

It was an odd sight to see him surrounded by so many of both his colleagues and those few he regarded as friends, seemingly enjoying himself and drinking Mrs Weasley's finest homemade mead. She'd never imagined him being even remotely sociable at events such as these and the thought never crossed her mind that this strange display of socialising on his part was all a farce for her benefit.

"Oh, no way!" Ginny groaned, interrupting Hermione's thoughts as a slow muggle song came on over the speakers and couples began to form in the centre of the previously wild dance floor. "Why do they have to ruin it?"

"I suppose it is getting late," Hermione explained, "and they'll play some slow music for the oldies and the loved up couples who are more likely to leave soon, and then when they're gone they'll put the good stuff back on."

"Bloody hope you're right 'Mione," Ginny groaned further as she caught sight of a very drunk Dumbledore and McGonagall slow dancing seductively in the corner of the room. "I bloody hate all this soppy stuff and the sight of them two is making me positively vomit."

Hermione giggled as she too caught sight of the two heads of Hogwarts encased in one another's arms.

"I hate this!" Ginny sighed once more.

"Oh well I guess you don't want to accept my proposal of a dance then?" Harry asked as he stepped towards Hermione and Ginny.

Ginny blushed as though it was the first time she'd ever seen Harry, and Hermione couldn't help but giggle.

"Oh take her away will you Harry," she joked as Harry took Ginny's hand in his. "She's so bloody depressing."

"Thanks a lot 'Mione," Ginny said sarcastically as she was pulled to the centre of the room by her on/off boyfriend.

As Ginny and Harry walked away Hermione scanned the room for any other singletons like her who she could sit with whilst the soppy stuff was playing. She only had a few options though as most people were up on their feet dancing; even Luna and Neville had paired off.

"May I have this dance," a familiar voice said as two arms slipped around her waist and pulled her back to their front.

Hermione turned swiftly to be faced with the familiar black eyes of Severus Snape.

"I don't think so," she said sternly as she placed her hands on his chest to push herself away from him.

She frowned in confusion as the palms of her hands met the unfamiliar firm muscles of his chest and she looked up at him in alarm. He had never felt like that as young man.

"Like you said," he whispered, leading her by the hand to the centre of the room, "I've changed."

Hermione remained silent and followed him; she didn't know how to reply.

When they reached the midst of all the other dancing couples she allowed one of his arms to fall at her waist and the other at the base of her spine. In response, she tentatively placed her arms around him, letting her hands fall flat onto his back. With that, they began to move.

It was so different for both of them than last time but for different reasons. For him, the strange sensation was due to the fact that he hadn't touched her in twenty years and to feel her in his arms, unchanged and exactly as she was before, was such a strange notion for him. For her however, this extraordinary sensation that she felt was because of the changes to his body. He was taller, broader and over all more well built; he felt strangely familiar yet so different to what she was used to.

"There are so many things I want to say to you," he whispered softly into her ear as they moved closely together. "So many things that I wish I had the courage to articulate."

"There is no need…"

"But there is," he protested. "Twenty years of feelings and emotions are trapped up here," he continued, pointing to his head, "and it's so hard to just let them go even though I want to. I don't believe in myself enough to trust what I say will be right."

"Well you should believe in yourself," she returned casually. "One should _always_ believe in oneself."

"I used to," he admitted gently. "I used to when I was with you. Miss Granger, I remember a time when my balance was fine and I was capable of walking on the fine wire of my life, but when you left and still to this very day, it seems that this wire has frayed at both ends and I'm slowly unravelling into something I barely recognise."

"It's not my fault," she dissented. "You know I didn't want to leave."

"Regardless of whether you wanted to or not, you did, you _had _to, and that changed my life."

Hermione sighed as the song changed and they continued to dance, their body's length touching and their eyes locked together in deep conversation.

"I'm not trying to blame you, believe me, I'm not."

"I thought that I couldn't live without you," she stated honestly after a moment of awkward silence. "I presumed that when I returned you'd try to learn to love me again, but I soon realised that you'd never be able to do that. I understand that Professor I really do. I'd probably be the same in your position."

"You've got it all completely wrong though," he retorted as the song faded. "I'd spent the longest winter without you, a cold bitter one that lasted twenty years, and through all that time I was hurting and didn't know who to turn to. When you came back into my life I was a mess and you were a child. Whatever I chose to do with regard to the situation would be deemed wrong by others and I was stuck in limbo. But somehow, no matter how hard I tried I couldn't forget you and after all that we've been through, I guess that I just wanted to know that."

"Thank you," she whispered. "Thank you for being honest and I think it's time that I am too."

She paused for a moment to gather her strength before continuing.

"The truth is," she began nervously, "the truth is, that I do love Severus Snape like I said I always would. But I've searched and I've searched for him and the man I knew is nowhere to be found. You, as you stand here before me, are just a fraction of what was and I don't think that I can go on holding futilely on to that fragment in the hope that it changes back into the full jigsaw; into the man I loved."

"Do you really expect me, or anybody else for that matter, to be the same person twenty years down the line? People change without wanting to or meaning to. That's life Miss Granger."

"Yes it is," she replied honestly, "and I'm not trying to dispute that. What I _am _saying though, is that I _haven't_ changed over a twenty year period but you have. If we were to be together it would be as two completely different people than before."

"And could we not try that?" he asked. "What would be so wrong in you trying to love who I am now?"

Hermione was lost for words. She hadn't expected such a bold statement from the usually emotionally reserved man that stood before her.

"I don't think I can do this anymore," she whispered tearfully, before pulling out of his gasp and running out of the marquee, Severus hot on her tail.

She reached her bedroom in record time and slammed the door forcefully behind her. Within seconds Snape burst through the door, out of breath and red faced.

"Why are you trying to hide from this!" he bellowed angrily. "I'm giving you what you wanted when you arrived home, so why not accept it!"

"You're offering me a completely different person! You're offering me Professor Snape who does not care about anything but himself and his work. A man so cold and hurtful that he revels in making his students so scared of him, that they genuinely fear attending his lessons or accidentally bumping into him on the corridor!"

"No!" he roared. "I'm offering you _Severus Snape_. Not Professor Snape," he chided loudly as he closed the gap between them and she leant back nervously against the wall, "not the Death Eater or the spy, but me. The boy you once knew."

"It'll never be the same," she cried as he pinned her up against the wall and looked down passionately into her eyes.

"Then tell me," he whispered as he lowered his lips to hers and captured them as passionately as the first time they had met. "Tell me that - _tha_t - didn't feel the same."

She looked up at him once more.

"I c…can't," she stammered. "That felt right."

His eyes flashed suddenly with desire and he pressed his lips once more to hers and lifted her up against the wall so that she could wrap her legs around his hips. The kiss deepened and Severus thrust his tongue into her mouth with such fervour and passion that it made both of their hearts thump loudly within the confines of their chests.

She brought her shaking hand up to his face, feeling the familiar black stubble and the softness of his cheek, and he pressed himself against her to show his delight at her touch.

Even as they were merely kissing and touching one another's neck and faces, both were groaning and moaning as though it were something much more physical, and it wasn't long before he'd carried her to the bed and climbed atop of her.

"Say my name," she whispered as he looked down on her. "I can't do this until I hear you say my name."

He frowned profusely, avoiding eye contact. "What'll change if I do though?" he asked fearfully.

"Everything," she admitted honestly. "Everything will change."

"And what if I'm scared," he asked earnestly. "What if for the first time in my life I'll admit that I'm frightened of what will happen to me; to us?"

"Severus, so am I," she replied as she looked up into his dark eyes. "I'm scared too but I'll risk getting hurt if I know we have a chance."

"I don't know what we have just now and it's been such a long time," he whispered as he unzipped her dress and kissed every new bit of skin that he exposed. "Such a long time since anybody's touched me the way that you used to touch me."

"How long Severus?" she questioned enviously as she worked at his shirt buttons. "How many women since I left?"

"None that matter," he replied surreptitiously as he kissed her neck ardently, leaving a red mark where his teeth and lips had been.

"That does not answer my question."

"That's because it is a stupid question Miss Granger," he teased in his best Professor voice, trying to avert her line of questioning.

"Hermione," she reprimanded as he used her title. "My name is Hermione."

"Hermione," he said softly as she pulled off his dress pants and threw them across the room. "Welcome home."


	19. Making Love Out Of Nothing At All

**Chapter Nineteen: Making Love Out of Nothing At All**

With her heart beating fiercely in shear anticipation as he removed his shirt, Hermione kissed his neck to calm her nerves. Despite her outwards appearance, Hermione Granger was not confident in this situation of lying with her Professor of seven years, but instead comfortable; at that moment in time, as his bare chest fell upon her own, there was a subtle difference.

Her comfort with the situation was the result of the sounds he was making and the words he was only just managing to articulate in his pleasure. It was such reassuring and recognizable noises that calmed her otherwise feral nerves as her hands roamed over such an unfamiliar body; it was like making love to a completely different person.

Wanting to explore this _'new'_ body further, and to Severus' surprise, Hermione rolled him over onto his back so that she was straddling him; her eyes looking down on him with raw desire and her fingers running through the thin scatterings of black hair that both graced his well defined chest, and also the similarly dark trail of hair that disappeared below the waistband of his silk boxers.

After following the said trail of hair with the very tips of her fingers, Hermione opted to investigate further and lowered his boxers slightly, watching with delight as the unrefined emotions of lust, desire and nervousness played about his usually unreadable face.

She lowered her lips to his chest and laid a soft trail of kisses down the already marked path of his hair; lower and lower until he arched his back for her to stop or to at least acknowledge that she was comfortable enough to continue her decent.

"Hermione-"

"-I'm experimenting," she interrupted as she looked up at him with soft brown eyes that assured him that she was at ease. "You're so very different than before and I want to memorise you."

"Different?" he asked curiously, feeling a little insecure as she sat over him observing his nearly naked body.

"Of course you are," she whispered, lowering her lips to kiss him. "You're no longer a teenage boy."

Severus broke the kiss as he chortled heartily for the first time that he could remember. "No, you're right, I'm most definitely not," he laughed. "But that also means that I will be able to prolong the _pleasure_ for you my dear_._"

She gulped at the thought. If she thought sex with him was amazing last time, then she could only imagine what it would be like now he was 'all grown up.'

"You're more hairy," she said matter-of-factly as she ran her hands over his chest, "you're much more muscular, and this…_tent_," she added, gesturing to his black, tented, silk boxers, "seems to be much bigger than I can remember."

Severus smiled at these compliments and ran his hands over her thighs as she straddled him. "And you," he said gently, "you are exactly as beautiful as I remember."

"Well in that case you're a lucky boy aren't you," she teased. "Out of this state of affairs, you end up a thirty eight year old man with a young, energetic, eighteen year old girlfriend, and I'm left with a yeti for a man whose chest hair is turning suspiciously grey!"

"It is not!" he protested, suddenly sitting upright and searching desperately for these said signs of ageing.

"I'm joking Severus," Hermione giggled as she pushed him back down and pinned his hands over his head. "As a matter of fact, I much prefer this new body of yours."

"Mmm," he said with raised eyebrows. "You do, do you?"

"Much more…sexy," she whispered into his ear.

As he groaned in response, Hermione decided that it was high time that they ventured beyond teenage fumbling and kisses; she was ready to feel him inside her.

With that in mind, she placed two careful fingers on the inside of the waistband of his boxers, and pulled them down to his ankles, allowing his erection to spring free.

"Now that's a look of fear if ever I've seen one," joked Severus as he observed the alarmed woman who sat perched onto of him and starting at his member.

"It was so much smaller last time," she said as she gulped nervously.

"Well not _too_ much smaller," he corrected firmly. "No need to give a man a complex Hermione, I'm sure that it was perfectly adequate for a seventeen year old."

"Yes it was," she concurred, "but _that_ is gigantic."

Severus smiled. "I'm sure it's merely average."

"Modesty doesn't get you anywhere Severus," Hermione reprimanded, her eyes still not leaving the area between his spread legs.

"Are we going to sit her all day contemplating how different my aged body is or are we actually going to put this state of undress to good use."

"The latter I think," she replied with a broad, sultry smile as he rolled her onto her back and placed himself at her entrance.

He looked down nervously at her for permission to continue.

"I trust you," she whispered whole heartily as she ran her fingers through the underside of his curtained black hair.

Severus slowly pushed himself inside her simply amazed by her familiar tightness; he would not last long. With one long push he was encased within her, for what he deemed to be the real first time. This time they were making love as two adults not teenagers, and this time they held no secrets.

Desperate to feel him glide within her like she remembered, Hermione placed the palms of her hands flat onto his buttocks and guided his movement. Obligingly, Severus followed her direction and began thrusting powerfully inside of her as her nails gripped his backside tightly, and the pain provided an incentive to move even faster.

She was whispering his name over and over, sending him further towards climax.

"I've missed you," he muttered through ragged breaths. "I've wanted this…_ah_…for…_ah_…so long."

In reply, Hermione rolled him over onto his back once more, him still inside her, and began to take control of the situation upon noticing his tiredness. Her movements were as fast and frantic as his were and her hair whipping wildly everywhere.

"Hermione," Severus cried, his eyes closed tight in pure pleasure as her walls began to spasm around him, coherently sending him over the edge. "Hermione…I…"

"Put your legs closer together," she ordered as her climax arrived suddenly and he looked up at her with alarmed eyes. Her confidence to direct their motions proved to Severus that she wanted him; more importantly, she needed him.

The Potions Master could feel that familiar tightening of his nether regions as she continued to bounce on top of him and spasm around him. He watched with an utmost delight as her face screwed up in pleasure and she struggled to find her breath, every so often whispering his name.

"Fuck!" he swore loudly as he came inside of her and their movement ceased.

Hermione rolled off him in her exhaustion, her brown eyes never leaving the black of his as she did so.

"Oh my god," she muttered in realisation. "I've just had sex with my Professor."

Severus smiled despite this hard truth.

"And you enjoyed every minute of it," he joked, before wrapping his arms tightly around her and pulling her into a warm embrace.

That night for the first time since she had left him, Severus Snape had a full, undisturbed, night's sleep and a broad smile etched upon his sleeping face as he dreamed about his future with the young woman who lay in his arms.


	20. Morning Awakenings

**Chapter Twenty: Morning Awakenings**

"Severus," called the mellow voice of Mrs Weasley from the outside of his locked bedroom door. "Severus my dear, are you awake?"

The Potions Master yawned profusely and stretched his arms above his head to test his morning muscles, and felt a strange body lying next to him as he did so. He rubbed his sleep ridden eyes with the palms of his hands and stared down at the sleeping form beside him. The sight brought a large smile to his face.

Her hair was tousled and spread out both all over her face and her pillow, and her body wrapped completely up in the covers. Clearly from the tightness that the blankets were wrapped around her, it had been too cold a night to sleep as naked as they had, even with Severus keeping her warm in his arms.

"Severus Snape," called Mrs Weasley once more. "Are you decent?"

Severus looked down at his naked body; he most definitely not _decent._

"Sorry Molly, no I'm not," he called back, his loud voice waking Hermione who squinted tightly as the morning light from the near window hit her eyes.

"Well I've made you some breakfast but I'll leave it out here on a tray for you my boy," she called, her voice muffled by the closed door. "I don't want to see you in your 'Morning Glory' that's for sure!"

"Thank you very much," he replied humorously. "Your hospitality is much appreciated."

"Severus," Mrs Weasley called again, just as Severus thought she had left the corridor outside of their room.

"Yes?" he replied impatiently.

"I don't suppose you saw where Hermione got to last night?" she asked, causing a blush to rise in Severus' cheeks; it was a good job that the woman couldn't see through doors!

"Miss Granger?" he asked, his voice portraying disinterest as the said young woman cuddled up beside him. "The last time I saw her she was dancing around like a deranged Hippogriff with your daughter."

Mrs Weasley laughed and Hermione punched him gently in the ribs for his comment.

"Okay," the older witch responded. "Oh, I bet that little tyke's in some poor wizard's bed as we speak," she added, "and my money's on Percival Starzenge's boy. Hermione's always had a thing for good looking sports men like Rudolphus Starzenge and she seemed rather taken with him last night."

Severus frowned as he turned from the door of which Mrs Weasley was stood behind, and towards Hermione who was looking a little concerned.

"I don't mean to sound uncouth Molly," Severus called with genuine irritation, "but I couldn't care less about whose bed Miss Granger chooses to share."

"Of course you don't," Molly replied politely before she toddled off to believe breakfast to the next guest.

"I hope you didn't mean that," Hermione said firmly, as she gesticulated towards the door.

"Mean what?" he asked petulantly as he sunk back into his bed and ran his fingers through his long black hair.

"About not caring who I share a bed with."

Severus _'harrumphed'_ loudly.

"You always were a jealous bugger," Hermione said with a disapproving shake of the head. "I no more fancy Rudolph than I do Ron bloody Weasley!"

"Oh _Rudolph_ is it now?" he accused.

"Oh I'm sorry," she spat angrily, "should I call him by all of his millions of syllables just so that you don't see glimpses of the Green Eyed Monster."

Severus sighed heartily. "Well of course I was always jealous when it came to you," he snapped. "You always had Black or Potter sniffing around you like a piece of meat."

Her eyes widened in her fury.

"I'm going downstairs for a cup of tea," she bellowed into his ear and he brought his hand up to his head painfully. "Hangover?" she teased quietly.

He winced and then nodded in agreement.

"Good!" she screamed once more before grabbing her askew clothes from their various positions around the room and storming downstairs.

… … …

She was sat outside on top of a small grassy hill, the watery sun beaming down on her and a mug of hot chocolate steaming in her hands, when she felt a tall figure sit down tentatively beside her.

"I'm sorry," he said sheepishly, his eyes focussing on the valley below them. "I shouldn't have said them things."

"And I shouldn't have shouted," she concurred gently. "I just hate it when you get so damn paranoid when you have no reason to. There's only ever been you Severus; don't you know that by now?"

"I guess I'm just a little scared of loosing you all over again. This time I want to make things work."

"I know," she agreed. "This time we just _have_ to. There's much more at stake now."

"I agree; we need to take slow and steady steps instead of rushing things."

"I'm just not sure if you'll be able to be as calm and collected as you make out though Daddy," she mused. "I mean, now that there's three of us in this relationship it's going to be much more exciting and tumultuous."

"D…daddy," he stuttered nervously. "T…three of us?"

"We're having a baby Severus," she squealed. "I'm pregnant."

Suddenly and without any sort of forewarning, Severus' eyes filled with tears and he pulled her into a tight embrace.

"Severus?" Hermione asked as she returned his hug. "Are you crying?"

"Of course not," he snapped between sniffles. "It's the cold air that's all."

"I believe you," she said disbelievingly. "Thousands wouldn't."

"Hermione?" Severus asked after he had wiped his eyes and released her from his extremely tight hug. "How do you know you're pregnant if we only had sex last night? Surely it's too early?"

"I was already pregnant when I arrived home," she admitted. "I was going to tell you earlier but didn't know how you'd react."

"You've been pregnant for twenty years?" he asked, shock ever present on his pale face.

"No Severus," she corrected. "Probably about three or four weeks."

He still looked puzzled.

"I don't know if you remember," she began, "but I think it was the time when we did it next to the Lilies in the garden. That night just felt, I don't know_, different_."

"Of course I remember," he stated as he kissed her lips. "It was magical as always and I've thought about it every day since you left."

Hermione smiled.

"Come on then Mummy," he said, pulling her to her feet. "We've got news to tell."

"Oh no," she protested. "Severus we can't tell anybody yet. The boys will go ballistic if they find out that we're together never mind having a baby."

"Actually," he said disdainfully at her mention of the two younger wizards, "I didn't mean those dudderheads I meant my parents."

"Your parents?" Hermione asked in alarm.

"Well yes," he explained. "The two people who are the closest thing I have to such a title anyway."

Hermione frowned in thought and Severus led her back to the Burrow.


	21. Secrets At The Burrow

**Chapter Twenty One: Secrets at The Burrow**

"Ah Severus!" Mrs Weasley said as he entered the bustling dining room later that evening followed shortly by Hermione. "I see you've found our disappearing young madam then."

She gesticulated towards Hermione who was taking her seat in between Dumbledore and an empty chair, and Severus blushed as he remembered their early conversation and her concern for whose bed Hermione slept in.

"I merely bumped into Miss Granger whilst on my evening walk around your gardens Molly," Severus lied, casting a forged look of disdain Hermione's way. "Now," he said impatiently, "where am I to sit woman?"

"Today my dear boy you have a choice," Molly explained warmly, ignoring his bluntness. "Arthur has been called away on Ministry business and won't be able to make it, so we have plenty of room."

"And my choices of seats are…" he drawled as he surveyed the dining room for a spare seat.

"You can either sit between Harry and Ron as Arthur would if he were here, or" she added, "in between Hermione and Minerva. The choice is entirely yours."

"That is like asking me whether I wish to die by hanging or torture," Severus hissed as he snarled the trio with his best Professor face. "I would prefer to eat with the garden gnomes if I had _the choice."_

Molly giggled humorously at his sardonic approach to his options. "I hardly think that the options I gave you are comparable to those. Now come on take your seat quickly instead of scathing my children, dinner will soon be served."

Severus rolled his eyes and took up the seat that he was planning on all along; next to his _insufferable_ Hermione.

"How are you enjoying the festivities so far then Professor?" Hermione asked loudly to test his restraint as Mrs Weasley began serving the food. He snarled her almost naturally for the use of his title, taking into consideration what had transpired between them the previous night, but soon averted his gaze from her warm eyes and to his now full plate.

"I'd enjoy it far more if I wasn't surrounded by the boy-who-lived-to-annoy-me and his irritating sidekicks," he spat.

"And do you think that we want to spend our Christmas with a miserable git like you?" Ron retorted courageously as he sipped his wine furiously. "My Mum's put a lot of effort into this Christmas so you should really stop being so bloody ungrateful and crack a smile for once!"

"Why you insolent little-"

"Ah I think that's quite enough," Albus interrupted firmly before Severus could continue with his fierce retort. "Does anybody want a refill?" he asked, lucidly changing the subject and peering into everybody's goblet over his half-moon glasses, for a sign of room that could otherwise be filled with wine.

Severus brusquely accepted his offer whilst Hermione politely declined.

"Oh come on Hermione," Albus beamed, his blue eyes twinkling omnisciently, "it's Christmas."

"Honestly Professor," she replied graciously, "I'm fine."

"But you surely can't drink pumpkin juice all evening," he persisted earning him a fierce glare from the man beside Hermione. "That would be very uncharacteristic of you."

"I don't think Miss Granger wants any alcohol at the moment Albus," Severus interrupted sharply and momentarily forgetting his place.

"Of course," Albus replied as he tried desperately to contain a smile, "but I must ask, is there any _particular_ reason for your decline?"

"Albus Dumbledore you meddling old fool!" Snape roared impatiently, cutting through the several conversations that were previously going on around the table. "Will you stop being so damn insufferable, eat your dinner and give your over energetic mouth of yours a rest!"

The room fell into an awkward silence.

"Hey!" Harry snapped as he slammed his fork down on the table to express his anger. "Don't speak to Professor Dumbledore like that!"

"Or what!" Severus spat petulantly, his black eyes wide and boring into the green of Harry's.

"Otherwise Severus, my bitter friend," interjected a newcomer as a figure stepped into the room. "I'll have to do something about it."

Everybody turned to face the newcomer, welcoming smiles about their faces; Hermione meanwhile looked positively petrified.

"Dad!" exclaimed Harry as he leapt out of his seat and ran over to his Father who immediately pulled him into a warm embrace. "I thought you were staying in Egypt until the summer!"

James pulled away from Harry and kissed his forehead lovingly. "Any miss a Christmas with my son?" he asked with a broad smile. "Never."

"I'm so glad you could make it James my dear boy," Molly exclaimed warmly as she helped the man shrug out of his travelling cloak before he began to greet the other guests.

"It's a good job here I got here when I did isn't it," he said more severely as he rounded the table menacingly towards Severus who had stood quickly from his chair.

Hermione looked confusedly from Severus and James, as they quickly closed the distance between them, enraged expressions about their faces. To her surprise nobody else around her looked apprehensive as the sworn enemies neared one another and their expressions darkened.

Without warning and to Hermione's alarm, James pulled Severus into a warm hug very similar to the one he had only just given Harry.

"Severus!" James exclaimed as he pulled out of the embrace and shook the darker man's hand. "How have you been my dear friend?"

"Well, whilst you've been sunning yourself at the Pyramid's _Potter,_" he joked in return, his face still stern despite the hilarity in his voice, "I've been left teaching your irritating son who has no consideration for my rules whatsoever."

"Ha-rr-y," James sighed seriously, as he turned from Snape to his son, who had resumed conversation with Ginny at the far end of the table. "What have I told you about winding your Godfather up?"

"_Godfather?" _Hermione mouthed disbelievingly to Dumbledore who merely beamed in reply, his eyes returning unconcernedly to the two men stood in the centre of the room.

Harry smiled. "He loves it really," he joked humorously. "Personally I think that's what keeps him going. He thrives on berating his students _(especially Gryffindors)_ and all I'm trying to do is help feed his habit."

"How very considerate of you son," James retorted humorously.

Severus tutted.

"And anyway _Severus_," James continued as he took his seat beside Mrs Weasley, "I was _not _sunning myself in Egypt, I was working."

"Working my eye," Severus returned darkly. "You go over there for the women, the alcohol and the weather. Nothing more, nothing less."

"Actually dear friend," the other wizard countered, "I was doing some very important research for the Ministry."

"What," Severus joked, "on the female anatomy?"

Minerva slapped Severus' hand firmly in reply to his crude comment and he quickly snarled her for her rebuke.

"Ah Hermione," James said, averting his attentions from Severus to his old friend, "how are you doing my dear? Severus not treating _you_ too badly as he is my poor innocent boy I hope?"

Hermione, who was still awestruck at the sight before her - _James Potter alive and well _– could not open her mouth to reply.

"Earth to Hermione," James sung as he waved his hands in front of her eyes to catch her wandering attentions. "Merlin, I haven't changed that much have I?"

Hermione's eyes widened in alarm.

"He means since his _travels_ to Egypt Miss Granger," Severus informed sternly as if to answer her internal questions. "He hasn't changed that much since his _time _travelling; travelling around Africa."

"Of course," she said absentmindedly and with sudden realisation thanks to Severus' careful choice of words. "What else would he mean?"

"Geesh, what on earth is the matter 'Mione?" Harry asked from the other end of the table. "You look as though you've seen a ghost. He's only been away seven months!"

"Nothing's the matter," Hermione returned fiercely. "I'm just feeling a little _nauseous._ I'll go and have a lie down for an hour or so. You don't mind do you Mrs Weasley?" It was clearly a rhetorical question.

"Of course not my dear," the red headed witch replied maternally. "You go and get yourself comfortable and I'll bring you a nice hot chocolate up once we've finished dinner."

"Thanks Mrs Weasley," she replied before taking her confused self off up to her room.

… … …

"Miss Granger," Severus called sternly through the bedroom door as Ginny passed him on the corridor. "The Headmaster has asked me to fetch you from your little cocoon and bring you to him."

"Tell him I'm sleeping," she replied petulantly in return. "I don't want to speak to him right now."

"It is not a request Miss Granger," Snape enforced. "So open this door before I blast it off its damn hinges."

Within a matter of seconds he heard the key turn in the lock.

"What on earth are you playing at!" she hissed as she opened the door and bundled him roughly inside. "What are people going to say if they see you banging on my bedroom door in the middle of the evening?"

"Unless they were deaf," he retorted sarcastically, "one would assume that they would almost certainly believe that I was sent to collect you for the Headmaster."

"Don't lie to me Severus," she snapped as she flung herself back onto her outsized double bed with a large sigh and rested her back against the pillows exhaustedly. "What are you really here for? I thought I made it clear that I wanted a peaceful lie down!"

"As I said," he said smoothly. "The Headmaster wishes to see you."

"And why on earth would he want to see me?" she asked incredulously.

"Because I have arranged a meeting of sorts with him and he is under the belief that _we _wish to see _him._"

Hermione ran her fingers through her hair thoughtfully. "But why would _I _want to arrange a meeting with Professor Dumbledore? I have nothing to say to him that is of any importance."

Severus laughed sardonically as he sat down beside her on the bed and placed a large, flat hand on her stomach.

"No way," she exclaimed as realisation hit. "There's no way that I'm telling him about the baby!"

"You agreed that you'd tell my parents Hermione," he responded firmly but still with a small smile about his lips. "Or at least, those who I _regarded_ as my parents."

"Dumbledore?" she asked. "You look up to _Dumbledore_ as a father? Oh please," she snuffed, "I saw the way you spoke to him down there, so don't feed me with rubbish."

"I am not in the habit of repeating myself Hermione, as you already know," Severus said firmly as he crossed his arms, "so I will say this once more…Albus and Minerva filled in as a sort of surrogate family when my Mother and Father were killed. I regard them as my parents."

Not for the first time that evening Hermione's mouth fell open in ajar.

"But what will they think of me?" she asked nervously. "What will they think of me when I tell them that I am pregnant with your baby? You're my Professor, Severus!

"I don't think I need reminding of that fact," he replied darkly.

"I'm sorry," she sighed. "I just don't think I'm ready to take everybody's judgement just yet."

"Well you're going to have to be _ready_. There are a lot of people that over the course of this pregnancy we will need to inform of our situation, Hermione."

"I know that!"

"And some are to be told sooner rather than later."

"But what are we supposed to tell them Severus?" she asked. "Even _we_ don't know where we are just yet!"

"No," he concurred darkly. "We don't."

"So where would you _like _us to be at them moment? How would _you_ label what we have?"

"Complicated," he mused. "I'd say that we are complicated."

"So when people ask about the relationship between I and the Father of my child I'm suppose to say, _'ah well, it's just complicated'_?"

"When people ask _Hermione_," he reprimanded sharply, "you are not to say anything."

"What!" she cried as her temper flared. "I'm supposed to just keep quiet as though we are just a sordid little affair?"

He huffed in response as his own anger mounted wildly. "I'm your Professor and you my seventh year student," he informed. "What do you think people would call this? A match made in heaven! No," he bellowed, "you're the intelligent little sidekick of Harry bloody Potter and I'm the Death Eater who's supposed to be plotting to murder you all in your beds! What do you think people will believe we have taking all of _that_ into account?"

"They can think what they bloody want!" she screeched back. "But_ I'm_ the one who needs to be assured of the truth. What _do_ we have?"

"At the moment," he informed honestly, "we have a predicament on our hands. Gods Hermione I want you more than I could possibly articulate and you are carrying a part of me inside you, but for the sake of my position as spy and for your life,_ for the sake of our child's life, _we must be wary of labelling this as more than an affair."

"I knew _he'd_ come into this somewhere," she hissed as she pushed herself off the bed and angrily paced the room.

"Who would come into this?"

"Him!" she cried. "That second '_Daddy' _of yours that you're going to have to tell about the baby. I should have realised what you meant when you said we'd have to tell your _parents._"

"It's not like that," he hissed.

"It isn't?" she mocked sardonically. "Because it looks to me that at the moment you are a mere child answering to the whims of his parents; you're torn between Dumbledore and Voldemort. But the thing is Severus," she snapped, "I never knew that meeting the parents would involve coming face to face with the two most powerful wizards of all time!"

"I'm not answering to anybody!" he roared. "The Dark Lord does not control me as you believe!"

"You keep telling yourself Severus," she retorted bitterly. "One day you might just delude yourself!"

"You know nothing about it!"

"I'll tell you what _I know_," Hermione remarked fiercely, "I know that you are going to have to tell Voldemort about our baby. I know that when you do he won't be exactly _happy,_ and that you'll be punished and I probably murdered."

"I won't let that happen!" he roared loudly, thumping his fist against the bed on which he was still laying as if to reiterate his point.

"You really do think that you could stop all of that happening don't you?" she asked disbelievingly. "You really are more deluded than I thought."

"And you underestimate the hold I have over the Dark Lord, don't you?"

His eyes were wide with fury and her cheeks red with a similar emotion.

"Yes, to us you are an important spy, Severus," she informed, "but to him you're just another fool at his disposal. Another life to throw away of he needs a scapegoat."

He chortled darkly.

"The Dark Lord Hermione," he himself now informed, "is fundamentally living in my pocket and he doesn't even know it."

"You are unbelievably misinformed Severus. You're a spy, a Death Eater an Order Member; you're just _another _pawn in this sordid little game."

"Oh no," he hissed. "I'm the king in this _game_."

Hermione huffed and shook her head derisively.

"What do you think changed when you left my time Hermione?" he asked. "What have you noticed that has distorted since your arrival home?"

"Well other than the huge fact that Harry's Dad is alive, not much!"

"And how do you think James _did _survive?"

"I don't know," she muttered.

"That's because you don't know _anything_ about the present Hermione," he informed ostentatiously. "You don't have a single iota of what life is like now and whose lives have changed as a result of your meddling."

"My _meddling_," she informed, "has changed my life and your life. That is it."

"Oh, so James was alive and well before you left was he?"

"Of course not! You saw my reaction when he entered the room earlier; I was petrified."

"Well then, once again I shall ask you: what do you think that you did to alter that little factor then?"

"I don't know."

"Well then I suggest you find out," he instructed, "because until you know everything about the world you have twisted, I don't think that you can begin to comprehend the power changes that have occurred on the Dark Side."

Without hesitation, Hermione sped out of the room and towards the garden where she knew Dumbledore would be having his daily puff of a pipe. _What had changed?_

**_This was the longest chapter I've ever written so I hoped you liked both it and its length. As always, thanks for your support and keep it coming :)_**

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	22. Partial Explanations

**Chapter Twenty Two: Partial Explanations**

"Professor!" Hermione called frantically as she sped over the grassy banks to where the Headmaster was sat on a slate wall overlooking the countryside.

"Ah Miss Granger," he said politely, turning slowly towards her. "How are you my dear? Why you look rather flushed?"

"Flushed!" she screeched especially loudly, "wouldn't you be if a dead man walked through the door and greeted his antagonist with a warm embrace?"

She felt her rage building at the Headmaster's composure as he sat with his pipe in one hand and packet of sherbet lemons in the other, but she soon felt a little calmer as she saw one of his chubby hands pat the stone wall beside him and invite her to sit.

"Hermione," he began in soft and gentle tones once she had taken her seat and began to survey the view before them, "there are many things I believe that I have kept from you."

Hermione nodded assuredly. "You think so?" she said sarcastically but still with a suggestion of humour.

Dumbledore smiled tenderly as only he could and looked warmly towards her with his huge blue eyes from behind their frames.

"I suppose I should begin by telling you a little about my decision to send you into the past and the aspirations I had for you whilst on your adventure."

He paused for a moment as if to gather his thoughts. "Firstly," he began informatively, "I shall start this tale by informing you that I placed all of my trust in you when I fixed that time turner around you neck and twisted its dial. Hermione, you were the only person that I could trust with that specific mission and without you I don't think that we would have the chance we now hold at winning this war. I admit," he continued, "that my plan did not go _exactly_ to plan, but still you adapted and shaped the time line in a way that even I couldn't have dreamed of."

"As you probably noticed during your stay with my younger self, I was not so predictably cross as one would have anticipated with regard to your relationship with the Head Boy. The letter that I had received from the future provided me with the information that I should let love take its course, and thus I let you and Severus continue with your blossoming relationship."

"But you knew that he was a teacher," she said with confusion. "I told you that day I went to Hogsmede and Severus came with me."

"I was already aware prior to that occurrence that Severus was a Professor at Hogwarts in the future, but I was also under the strict guidelines of my future self not to interfere."

Hermione's mouth fell open in alarm. "You knew that we would have to face each other when I returned. You knew how wrong it would be and still you let us continue?"

"I trust that you too knew of the restrictions of a relationship with Severus and yet I believe you continued anyhow?"

Hermione blushed furiously.

"Anyway," he said, "let's move away from the wagging finger of accusation and address what is truly important. Now, where was I?"

"You were telling me about the letter which you sent back with me."

"Ah yes," he sighed with a smile. "The letter. Well, on the whole the said note was written with the sole purpose to tell my younger self as much as possible without actually telling him very much at all."

She frowned in confusion but Dumbledore did not bother to elaborate and instead continued.

"The letter explained who you were and where you were from, and how exactly you were to be treated in the past. It highlighted the three main points of the mission: when you were to return, how you were to behave and finally that you must be left alone with regard to affairs of the heart."

"That's all very well, Headmaster," Hermione sighed impatiently, "but I still don't understand what you wanted me to do and how I changed things in the dramatic way that I have."

"I expected you to befriend Severus Snape at the very least and my aim was for you to provide him with the link he needed to the self-titled 'Marauders.' Being such a close friend of Harry's I presumed that you would instantly bond with Lily and James, and for you to be accepted warmly by the group as a whole."

"And I did that," she informed. "So why did so much change if that is all you wanted me to do?"

"My intention Hermione," he continued, once again ignoring her line of questioning, "was to provide a bridge of sorts between the Dark of Severus Snape and the Light of the Marauders. I merely hoped that by building these bridges, Severus would become completely loyal to the Order once the time came for him to decide between Light and Dark."

"So you're saying that when you sent me back in time last week you did not trust Severus?"

"Not completely no," he replied with a hearty sigh of sadness. "For you see Hermione, Minerva and I love Severus like a son but still even we, as his parents, could not deny his attraction to the Dark Side. What you have to understand is that Severus, or else _Professor Snape_ as you knew him before this escapade, was not a bad man and merely one tempted by the power that the Voldemort offered him. I _did_ trust him and I so tried to put my complete faith in him, but I was always aware that he had nothing to keep his intentions loyal to the Order. He had no cause and only power at that time was driving him."

"But he _was _loyal to you though Professor Dumbledore sir," Hermione protested. "He truly was on our side, if I did not believe that before, Harry confirmed my thoughts when he accidentally invaded his mind during his Occulemcy lessons and realised his love for his Mother Lily. Harry told me Professor."

Dumbledore shook his head to reject her hypothesis. "Before I sent you into the past," he corrected, "Severus merely _admired_ Lily Evans from afar. Too much bad feeling was between them for anything more to occur."

"So what did I do? Bring them together?" Her stomach clenched at the thought of her friend Lily and Severus together. _Had she caused them to fall in love?_

"You did exactly that, but once again not in the way that I had anticipated."

"I don't understand."

Dumbledore placed a warm hand atop of hers as he mused over the words that were ready at the base of his throat.

"I meant for you to create a friendship between Severus and Miss Evans so that Severus had something to continue fighting for when the Potters had been murdered. It sounds rather sadistic and cruel, but I needed you to create an emotional pain for the older man; I needed you to generate something (a friendship) that would inevitably be broken and keep Severus loyal to us."

"You wanted me to break his heart?"

"In a twisted sort of way I suppose I did, but only with the best intentions."

Hermione huffed in disbelief.

"Please do not judge me Hermione," the Headmaster said sadly, "for I merely meant to save my boy's soul from the consumption of darkness. If Voldemort had killed his friends, it was certain that Severus would always have something to keep fighting for."

"And you think he deserves the constant torment of having to fight for the vengeance of his dead friends? He's just an ordinary man, not a play thing."

"My plan was indeed a flawed one Hermione," Dumbledore admitted. "I am first to declare that."

"And how did you know of what life was like before I was sent into the past to play with time. How do you remember both the past that was and the past I created?"

"Before you left I created a vast pensive and stored nearly all of my memories within it. I have been revisiting them meticulously and continuously since your return."

"So what has altered then?" she asked bluntly once she had accepted his explanation of his remembrance. "Why is James alive and where is Lily?"

"Once you had left his time, the teenage Severus turned to Lily Evans for comfort," the Headmaster explained. "He was heartbroken and thus sought solace in arms of the one person who reminded him so very much of the woman he loved and longed for. Over the space of a year I believe that Lily and Severus embarked upon an affair of sorts and James Potter was somewhat unaware of this fact until the night that he caught them together. Coincidently this was the same night that Lily Potter was murdered."

Hermione clasped her hand over her mouth in alarm and the tears began to fall down her face as her stomach clenched at the thought of Lily and Severus.

"You have to understand Hermione, that Severus was at first reluctant to embark on anything more than friendship with Miss Evans. He loved you so very dearly."

"Oh but he managed to sleep with her? Was she married when they were having an affair?"

"I believe she was."

"Poor James," Hermione cried, "and he caught them?"

"He did and I believe that he packed his bags and left Godric's Hollow just an hour before Voldemort came to kill he and his family. He had a lucky escape."

"A lucky escape!"

"I didn't mean that how it sounded Hermione," Dumbledore reconciled gently.

"And Harry?" Hermione asked. "Does he know about all of this?"

"The inner circle of the Order is aware of Severus' affair with Lily and also your time travelling."

"I meant about Severus and I," she corrected quickly. "I meant does everybody know that we were together?"

"No," the Headmaster replied. "They are not aware of your relationship with him and I don't think that it's the right time for them to become aware of such facts."

"One more question before I leave you Headmaster," Hermione began quietly as she slipped off the wall and placed her feet firmly upon the grass below. "If Severus had an affair with Lily and James caught them," she asked, "why are they such good friends?"

Dumbledore smiled profusely. "I believe that is a story for another time Hermione; Another time indeed."


	23. Return To Hogwarts

**A.N:** Being the fantastic yet irritiating site that it is, did not publish my chapter 19 properly (Making love out of nothing at all) and so when you were reading this you unwillignly skipped from 18-20. As soon as I realised this annoying little fact, I re-puplished that chapter for you guys to read. Please review it and read it, and hopefully things will make more sense now! :)

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**Chapter Twenty Three: Return To Hogwarts**

"Albus, have you seen Miss Granger anywhere?" Severus asked, his eyes not completely focussed on the Headmaster and instead seemingly looking through him in search of the bushy haired girl who he hadn't seen for almost a day.

"I believe that she has apparated back to Hogwarts with Harry and the young Mr Weasley."

Nettled, Severus pressed his lips firmly together into a thin line in a vein attempt to keep him from exploding with annoyance as he felt a coarse mix of anger and jealously surge through him,. With a suggestion that he found the younger man's fury amusing, Dumbledore looked upon him with twinkling eyes before he opened his mouth to break the silence.

"You seem rather irritated Severus," he stated objectively. "Is something the matter?"

"Of course not," he responded bitterly as his thoughts pondered on the many reasons why she would leave without a goodbye or even a mention of her return trip to the castle and why she had been avoiding him since his mention of the shift of the timeline that she had caused. "I asked of her whereabouts for a reason of little importance anyhow," he continued with an ironic intonation.

"Do you not wish to ask my _why_ Miss Granger has decided to return back to Hogwarts so early and without saying farewell?" Dumbledore persisted, his lucid blue eyes sparkling further as the darker man's impatience grew.

"I neither care for, nor desire your incessant questions and implications Albus," he said sternly, and a flicker of annoyance passed over his otherwise passive face, "so please find something better to do with your time."

"You may be a first-class spy Severus," Albus chortled heartily, "but you cannot lie to me."

"What on earth are you bumbling on about?" Severus asked rhetorically as he pushed his dark hair out of his eyes and back to their curtains around his pallid face.

"I can tell that you care for her you know," the Headmaster furthered but Snape did not seem to be overly mollified by his observation. "Even a fool could see that things have changed between you."

"Yes," he snapped resentfully, attempted to keep up a façade of disinterest, "and we all know whose fault such a change is!"

"So there is something between you and Miss Granger then?"

"Oh please do articulate your assumptions a little louder Albus," he drawled sarcastically "I don't think the Weasleys quite heard you all the way from the bottom of this garden."

Albus smiled profusely at the subtle recognition from Severus with regard to his relationship with Hermione.

"I do trust that you will keep your relationship with Miss Granger a private affair," he stated as professionally as he possibly could without letting some of the joy he felt escape his lips. "As Headmaster of Hogwarts you must understand that I could not publicly condone your affiliation."

At the pause of the Headmaster's instruction he gave a grudging nod. "Subtlety as you have probably already deduced, is a speciality of mine."

"Indeed my boy," concurred the Headmaster, his eyes saddening a little as he thought briefly of his boy's need for subtlety in darker company. "And how may I ask, is your relationship developing?"

"Positively," came the short, firm reply.

"Surely you can elaborate a little more than that," chuckled Albus warmly, his blue eyes probing the black of Severus' for answers.

"I imagine that I could yes," Severus responded dryly, "but for the sake of my privacy and your peace of mind, I will not provide you with all of the gory details that no doubt you seek."

Once again Dumbledore smiled and he followed this expression of elation by running his fingers through his well-groomed beard methodically. It was not an inclusive shock to the older man that the pair had picked up where they had _'left off'_ so to speak, but the confirmation of the consummation of their '_new' _relationship did worry him a little; it was not so much a matter of his lack of trust of their judgement, but more how this intimacy would affect the privacy of their situation. It would not do for word to reach the Hogwarts' students that their Head Girl and Professor were together in such a way, and Albus heartily feared the actions he would be forced to take if the affair became public knowledge prior to Hermione Granger's graduation.

"Are you to return to Hogwarts with me today?" the Headmaster asked, sensing the younger man's reluctance to the current train of conversation and deciding promptly to redirect its course.

"Unfortunately I must," he returned, "I fear that I have already trespassed on Molly's hospitality for far too long.

"Well then, you are very welcome to travel back with me," Albus offered kindly. "It has been simply far too long since you and I spent a little time together and I think that a slight detour to the Three Broomsticks is required."

Snape nodded briefly but did not verbally reply for apprehension that he may seem a little _too _grateful for the bearded man's offer of company.

"Then we shall depart in just under an hour," Albus organised, "that should give us enough time to say our goodbyes and pack our belongings."

"Indeed," Severus returned. "I think I must thank Molly profusely for her kindness this weekend. She has been most welcoming."

"That sounds like a good idea my boy," Albus responded jollily as he set off towards the house and to pack his belongings. "Oh and Severus," he called back just as he had embarked upon the threshold of the burrow, "do put on your drinking hat for we have hours of company and conversation ahead of us."

Severus rolled his eyes exaggeratedly. "I shall not succumb to your level of afternoon consumption of alcohol," he dismissed.

"Rubbish," returned Albus, never turning back to face Severus who was still at the foot of the garden with a predictably disapproving look about his face, "you'll be staggering back to Hogwarts I can assure you of that!"

Only when the Headmaster had turned away did Severus smile.

… … …

Cold air filled her lungs and the warmer breath that she reluctantly exhaled steamed as it escaped her lips, and met with the bitterly arctic atmosphere that surrounded her as she made her last rounds of the castle for that evening. Even with the woollen cloak and thick jumper that covered her body proving a modest shelter from the biting chill, Hermione knew that it would not be prudent to stay out of her temperate quarters and roaming the halls of Hogwarts for search of any midnight wanderers and out of bed students.

It had been a moderately quiet night, even when not taking into consideration the fact that not all students were back from their Christmas break until the following day, and the rare solitude had provided Hermione with the time she needed to ponder on the myriad of facts that Dumbledore had informed her of some two nights ago. She didn't fully comprehend why, but the fact that Severus had found comfort in the arms of Lily Evans after her departure from his time, had confused her more than the revival of James and the many other alarming alterations of the timeline. Her heart seemed to constrict painfully every time she thought of the two of them together, but it wasn't so much the pain that aggravated her emotions, but also the remembrance that he hadn't seemed that interested in the red-headed witch when Hermione was around. It raised the thought in Hermione's mind that maybe she was just a little two naïve with regard to affairs of the heart.

Abruptly, the loud bang of the front door of the castle broke her thoughts and she found herself reaching desperately for her wand and pointing it towards the two staggering strangers that had burst through it bringing the freezing air in with them.

"Professors?" Hermione inquired as the shadowy figures drew nearer and she could just make out the outline of one of their arms around the shoulders of the hunched over form of the other. "Oh my," she exclaimed suddenly, "what on earth has happened to him?"

"A rare over indulgence of whiskey I believe," an uneasily footed Dumbledore slurred in reply. "It's quite extraordinary that I managed to get him to accept one drink," he giggled furiously as if he had just cracked an especially funny joke, "so the fact that he has consumed just over one bottle of Madam Rosmetta's finest, simply baff…baff…" The words fell short in his mouth and he looked towards her with a strange and infrequent incredulous expression. "What is the word I'm looking for my dear girl?" he asked. "Baff…"

"-_Baffled_," she interjected firmly in disapproving tones, despite addressing her Headmaster and not scolding a friend. "Why on earth did you allow him to drink so much?" She stepped to Severus' other side and shared his weight evenly between herself and the older man. His still body relaxed into her supportive shoulder.

"I did advise him to cease drinking Miss Granger," Dumbledore stated, his eyes lolling about in their sockets as he turned to her, "but it seems that my boy wanted to drink to calm his mounting nerves and fears."

"Fears?" she asked, adjusting Severus' albatross body so that she could guide him with more ease and meanwhile doubting very much that such a strong wizard feared absolutely anything.

"Yes, of facing you."

Hermione stopped still in her tracks and turned abruptly to the Headmaster, her eyes flaming with fury.

"I informed him of your knowledge of his affiliation with Lily," Dumbledore notified guiltily.

"And how did he react?"

In reply, Dumbledore merely gesticulated towards the dark haired man who was slumped between them and continued his decent down towards the Dungeons. Severus' reaction was clearly drinking himself into an oblivion.

Eventually, and no thanks to Hermione taking the brunt of Severus' weight due to the fact that the Headmaster was far too intoxicated to focus his footing never mind carry the Professor to his quarters, they reached Severus' bedroom and settled him down onto his bed after stripping him of all clothing except for his black cotton boxers. He looked so serene and calm just lying there with no customary façade to burden his demeanour, and Hermione reached out a hand to stroke the side of his face.

"Do you love him Hermione?" Dumbledore asked bluntly as he observed the tender gesture between student and Professor.

"I err…" Now it was her turn for her words to get stuck at the base of her throat.

"It was a simple question Hermione," he persisted. "You can tell me you know."

"How can I tell _you_ though sir?" she asked despondently. "You're my Headmaster and have every right to throw me out of your school for even entertaining thoughts of admiration for my Professor."

Dumbledore frowned at her pessimistic attitude before setting down on the edge of the bed beside her and the sleeping form of Severus.

"Do I seem like the Headmaster you know at the moment?" he asked; his bluntness once again startling Hermione who was so used to the complexity of the white haired man's words and sentences.

She giggled in response to his rhetorical question and lifted her chin to face his still out of focus eyes. "No," she laughed, "you most definitely do not."

"Well then speak to me as if you would a friend, a companion or even a father if you so wish," he stated sincerely. "Hermione I care for you just as much as I do Severus and it pains me to imagine that you don't feel comfortable enough to talk openly to me."

Hermione rested her hand atop of his and silently accepted his offer by such a gesture. He smiled gently in response.

"Professor Snape is lucky to have you as such a father figure to him," she stated, glancing back briefly to the deeply sleeping Severus. "He loves you Professor, even if he cannot express that to you."

"I'd like to think so Hermione," Dumbledore concurred tenderly as he picked at the lose cotton pieces of the edge of Severus' blanket. "I do identify how difficult he finds it to express his emotions."

"But you do know he loves you, right?"

"Yes, but do _you_ know that he loves _you_?"

Hermione's eyes widened in disbelief. "No he doesn't," she said finally after a brief moment of contemplation.

"Just because he has not told you as yet, does not mean that he doesn't care very dearly for you," Dumbledore informed. "You said it yourself, Severus regrettably does not articulate his feelings but I can see the love and admiration he possesses for you."

"It's complicated," Hermione said sadly. "I don't know what will become of us and so it would be foolish to label what we have when so much threatens such a thing."

"Do not let your past or the near future of war affect your ability to love Hermione," Albus informed astutely. "If anything, use these dark times to your own advantage and show him that you care as much as he does for you."

"I think I've already shown him that," Hermione expressed, "but I'm not sure if it was as greatly accredited as one would normally expect."

"Sex does not reflect love Miss Granger," he stated bluntly, causing a profuse blush to arise in her otherwise pale cheeks.

"I…I…" she stammered.

"For Severus," elaborated Dumbledore ignoring her stammering, "sex is nothing but an act of habit or gratification. I think therefore that he would appreciate it more if you let it be known to him that he was engaging in love making with you and for a greater good. For a future."

Hermione nodded and a flicker of realisation passed over her face. She clearly needed to show Severus the love that he'd been lacking from his life for so long.

"May I stay here tonight with him?" Hermione asked.

"As long as you are prudent with regard to returning to your rooms in the morning without being detected by any other member of the school faculty, then I do not see why not."

Hermione smiled and thanked him for his allowance as he stood unsurely on his feet to take leave.

"Remember what I said Hermione," he said in stern tones, reminding her very much of the time he had warned her of her mission when in the past.

"I will Headmaster," she responded. "And thank you."


	24. The Reality

**Chapter Twenty Four: The Reality**

Severus opened his heavy eyes and watched as a narrow line of sunlight slipped through his dark curtains and lay like a golden bar across his wardrobe in the far corner of the room. He groaned loudly as the light pained his eyes and stimulated the throbbing headache that cursed his temples, before letting his head sink even further into his pillow for comfort and imagining a protracted length of time spend in bed nursing his hangover.

As soon as he had even begun to entertain thoughts of such a relaxing day in his chambers, realisation of the plan of action for the day hit him and only added further to his unrelenting headache. The thought of classes riddled with dudderheads and imbeciles riled him to the degree that he had to turn irritably onto his side and slam his fist into the mattress beneath him to vent his annoyance.

Upon shifting his position on the bed, Severus felt for the first time since his awakening, another body lying beside him. He turned to the intruder whose eyes were wide and mouth tweaked upwards at the corners as she observed him thoughtfully.

"Hermione?" he said, his voice still more than croaky thanks to his dry mouth and lack of energy.

"No," she pronounced humorously, "Dobby."

"Sarcasm doesn't befit you," he stated coolly as he quirked an eyebrow inquiringly. "For want of a better way to phrase this: _what on earth are you doing in my bed?_"

She smiled at his directness and soon opened her mouth to offer a similarly blunt reply.

"You were out cold," she declared disapprovingly. "Professor Dumbledore and I had to carry you here."

Flummoxed, and without any remembrance of the night before, Severus raised yet another eyebrow but this time for her to continue.

"You'd been out drinking with the Headmaster," she informed, the censorious tones still ever present in her voice. "It's not like you to let your façade slip so easily Severus, that was very foolish of you."

"I don't think that I need you to tell me that," he sighed. "It was irresponsible of me to become so intoxicated and lose control."

"You could have been badly hurt and your mind was simply left wide open for probing by anybody whom saw fit to do so," she persisted in stern tones.

"Yes," he concurred sardonically, "but I'm _not_ hurt and I very much doubt that anybody _probed_ my mind whist I was in the care of the Headmaster."

"You mean the care of the very same Headmaster who was so intoxicated himself that he thought it appropriate to have the birds and the bees chat with me."

Severus' eyes widened in both fear and humour.

"You very well may pull that face Severus Snape," she chided, "for you should have been looking out for one another and controlling your drinking."

"I don't need you to mother me Hermione," he retorted firmly, his head still throbbing painfully and his stomach feeling a little topsy-turvy. "I simply went for a drink with my friend and that was it. Don't make such a bloody conundrum about it."

"You could have been hurt!" she interjected forcefully.

"Well as you can see," he responded as he swooped the bedclothes off him in one swift and impatient movement and headed for the bathroom, "I am not."

As he shut the bathroom door behind him vociferously in annoyance, Hermione sighed in defeat. It wasn't like him to let his guard slip to the degree that he had done the previous night, and it worried her that maybe he wasn't focusing enough on his duties to the Order by maintaining his cover. The last thing they needed was even more pressure from Voldemort, for any interference on his part would surely lead to the exposure of their relationship.

She was still pondering on a plausible reasoning for Severus' strange behaviour and lack of customary self control, when he re-emerged from the bathroom fully clad in his teaching attire. His hair was swept back more severely than it had been over the Christmas break, and his robes buttoned more tightly. Clearly, he had been moderately more relaxed in the company of his friends and colleagues at the Burrow, but now that they were back to normality, Professor Snape took over from Severus Snape; the two were remarkably different and it was although he stepped into the bathroom as the former and emerged as the latter.

"What?" he asked sardonically as he caught her staring at him.

"Nothing," she lied, her eyes averting from his frame and down to her clasped hands.

"I will ask you once more and then I will not bother to ask again," he said sternly as he approached the bed atop of which she was still laying and took a seat beside her, "what is bothering you?"

"This," she replied shortly with a brief gesture to his heavy robes and stern expression. "It's like I've only just got you back and now you're slipping away again."

He looked at her confusedly and quirked a thick black eyebrow up towards the very tip of his pale brow. "Explain," he said curtly.

"Well firstly, we were together as the seventeen year old Hermione and Severus," she began, "and then when I had to leave we broke apart and I lost you."

He nodded in agreement but failed to elaborate further for fear of a too detailed remembrance of their time together as teenagers.

"And then," she continued sadly, "just as I feel that we've found each other again over this holiday, you turn around and do something that proves to me that I actually don't know you at all and once again I've lost you. You're back in Professor Snape mode and I can't stand it."

Repressing a shoulder, he let out a hearty sigh of annoyance and rubbed his throbbing temples with his fore and index finger and stared intently at her with probing black eyes.

"Well, say something," she ordered impatiently.

"And what would you wish for me to say?" he snapped exasperatedly. "That we are the same people as we were twenty years ago, that my feelings are the same as what they were back then, or even that things are back to normal now that we've spent a mere couple of days together at The Burrow?"

"I just meant," Hermione iterated firmly, "that after me telling you about the baby and after you stating very clearly that you wanted to make a go of this-"

"-And that is where I shall stop you," he interjected resolutely. "We never quite labelled what _this_

is, and I clearly recall discussing with you that things will be taken slowly and in accordance to the lives that we both have to live."

"_Lives we have to live_," she repeated incredulously, fury lacing her usually placid tones. "Severus, we have just less than nine months to merge our lives together so that our baby can have the functioning parents that it deserves. This isn't just about you and me anymore; there are three of us now."

"Correction," he hissed regretfully, "there are four of us."

She looked at him with confusion about her face and he took very little time in explaining his seemingly bizarre correction.

"I don't think you comprehend just how much the Dark Lord dictates the life of which I live-"

"-But you said things have changed, you said that you were in control of him!"

He stood up brusquely and paced the room as she interrupted him, his eyes never leaving his feet as anger roused within him.

"Regardless of what power I surreptitiously hold over him Hermione," he chided as though talking to a complete and utter imbecile, "he still has to believe that I am his puppet and not the other way around. If he finds out that we are together he will kill you and our baby. We have to play this underhandedly until he is gone."

"What makes you believe that you can deceive him Severus?" Hermione asked disbelievingly. "You're just a Potions Master, a wizard and a man!"

"Do you ever listen!" he roared as he launched a large, heavy textbook from its resting place on his bedside table and over across the room. "I told you to ask Albus what had changed and_ I_ informed you quite clearly that the powers had been reversed!"

"Well '_Albus'_ didn't tell me anything about the powers or otherwise very much about the changes," she returned in a voice that was boisterous but still nowhere near as foreboding as his as she stood up from the bed and closed the gap between them.

"Well what did he tell you then?" he asked impatiently,

"He informed me of what happened when I left Severus," she replied, "and just why James managed to survive Voldemort's attack."

Severus' body stilled in fear as she circled him; anger, fear and resentment all clouding her expression and intensifying her brisk movements.

"Dumbledore was too busy," she continued menacingly, "telling me about how you were sleeping with my best friend than to explain the _power changes!_"

"It wasn't like that!" he retorted guiltily, placing two strong ands on her shoulders to cease her movements and so that he could look into her eyes.

"Well what was it like?" she asked bitterly. "Because as far as I'm concerned, all that matters is that you slept with her when I left."

"Yes!" he screamed. "_**After you were gone**_! After _you_ had left _me_!"

"So it's okay that you did what you did?" she questioned furiously with a reproving look sent his way for good measure. "Just because I had to go, when I didn't even want to, you think that it was acceptable for you to turn to my best friend mere weeks after me leaving?"

"I will not justify that question with an answer," Severus returned, a non-committal and guilt ridden air about him as he strode up and down the room whilst Hermione remained in the one spot merely staring at him angrily.

"I'm not giving you the choice to answer," she snapped. "Why did you do it? Why did you not only sleep with my best friend, but also the wife of another man? What sort of man would do that Severus?"

"A lonely one!" he roared, punching the wall with a loud thump to express his antagonism and self repression. "I missed you and she was there for me. I never wanted her Hermione," he admitted, "at the beginning all I wanted was a shoulder to cry on and somebody who remedied me so very much of you."

"And at the end?" she probed jealously. "What did you want at the end?"

"It was just sex," he replied, avoiding her question. "It meant nothing."

"There's no such thing as _'just sex'_ Severus, you of all people should know that. I'll ask you once more and then I'm walking out of this room and never turning back-"

"-Like you did before?" he spat snidely, cutting her threat short. "You're just going to walk away but still you want a hold over my life. What did you expect me to do Hermione? Wait around for you to come back for me and never feel loved or wanted again?"

"So you loved her?" she asked, feeling as though she were picking holes in his every sentence but still feeling too angry and let down to care too much to regain a cool, mature head.

"No of course I never!"

"Did you love her?" Hermione persisted, her hands on her hips and her eyes boring into his from across the room.

He sighed stridently and turned away from her to avoid her accusatory gaze.

"I've got classes to teach," he said coldly after a brief moment of contemplation, "and I'm sure you've got lessons to attend also."

"Severus!"

"No!" he roared. "I will no longer entertain this futile conversation about happenings that occurred long before your time!"

"That _was_ my time!" she countered angrily.

"No, this is! Get used to it Hermione, because you can never go back and you can never regain what you had then."

"I know that! I just want to understand why you did what you did!"

"I don't want to remember it," he snapped, "I don't want to speak of it!"

"Now who's running away Severus?"

Once again he sighed and let his eyes drop to his feet. From the far corner of the room Hermione watched him as he ran his hands brusquely through his long black locks before resting his forehead firmly against the cold, hard, wall in front of him. She neared him and placed a soft hand on his shaking back as his emotions began to get the better of him.

"Leave," he said firmly between sobs. "Just get out."

"Severus…"

"I said get out, _Miss Granger_! Go back to Potter and Weasley or to your lessons, I just don't want you in my sight."

"Don't you dare turn this around on me!"

"!" he screamed for the final time. "Leave."


	25. Professionalism

**Chapter Twenty Five: Professionalism**

She listened intently as the sound of her quill scratched furiously across the parchment on the desk before her, and more so than that of any other occupant in the room. Her wrist was aching painfully as she scrawled down the final sentence of her essay and it had been since she had begun writing some fifty minutes ago.

As she proof read her two page parchment on the intricacies of the Wolfsbane Potion, Hermione could see Ron from the left hand side of her, still chewing on the tip of his quill nervously as he searched his mind for an answer, and to her right, she make out the outline of Harry as he too stared incredulously down at the predominantly blank parchment before him and scratched his head in his confusedness. She smiled briefly as she recognised the fact that they looked like a pair of orang-utans in the wild as they come across something that is unfamiliar to them and stared vacantly upon it.

Her observations of her two friends were disturbed as a pungent smell of wild cherries and Murtlap essence hit her nostrils and she felt the presence of her Potion's Professor over her, his eyes affixed on her work. It was a strange feeling for Hermione to feel Severus behind her and regard him as the Professional man he now was instead of the partner he was to her when they were alone, and it pained her to feel him so rigid and cold so close to her and not be able to reach out and merely touch his hand.

He tutted in a derisive way that only he could, as he averted his eyes away from her paper and moved on to his next seventh year victim. As he left her desk and his smell faded from her senses, Hermione let out a hearty sigh of disappointment; she missed him already.

It had been two months since they had experienced yet another confrontation after her mention of his relationship with Lily, and in that extended time he hadn't once bothered to acknowledge her with a mere nod as they passed in the corridor or even in his lessons when nobody else was paying attention. She was hurt, that much was certain, and the fact that he had been with Lily pained her to the degree that she didn't know whether things would ever be the same, but too, at the same time, she understood that he was hurting also.

Hermione was most definitely not a fool by definition, but when it came to her relationship with Severus, she recognised that she had not looked at the situation from his point of view and therefore was acting somewhat idiotically.

"Earth to Hermione," Ron said for the umpteenth time, breaking her thoughts and waiving his hands dramatically in front of her face to lure her from her deep, inward contemplations.

"What?" she asked suddenly, shaking her head to clear her thoughts and looking around the room to see that everybody else packing away and heading off to lunch with their respected groups of friends.

"Snape's just dismissed us," Ron informed incredulously. "Hermione where on earth has your head been at lately?"

"Yeah," concurred Harry accusatorially, "you've been really odd since we've arrived back from The Burrow."

"And you've been a bit quiet," Ron added.

"And you've not been sleeping very well according to Ginny."

"And," Ron said finally, "you've put a bit of weight on." No sooner had the last word escaped his lips, Harry swatted him firmly on the arm to physically reprimand him for his more than bold statement.

Consciously Hermione look nervously down to what she thought was her well hidden little bump and quickly pulled her robes tightly around her to cover it.

"Thank you for that observation Ronald," she snapped. "So what if I've put on a little weight it's normal for a developing young woman. But is so customary for boys your age to still be getting zits?"

Ron brought his hand subconsciously to his face and blushed furiously.

"Need I remind you that my classroom is not place for mother's meetings," Snape drawled as he stepped between the trio, his arms cross across his chest and his eyes dangerously moving between Ron and Harry whilst completely ignoring Hermione.

"Actually Professor," Hermione responded calmly as she addressed him so that he had to avert his attentions to her so as not to look too suspicious, "I was rather hoping to have a word with you about my last assignment."

He blinked several times in his annoyance at her audacity when taking into account their current 'situation' before opening his mouth to release some form of scathing reply.

"It was adequately copied from a textbook as usual Miss Granger," he drawled, "nothing special."

Hermione huffed. "Excuse me!" she snapped, causing Harry and Ron to look nervously towards her upon hearing her strangely insubordinate tone. "My essay was _not _copied from a textbook, and I'll have you know that I put a lot of extra research into that particular essay, _sir_."

"Have you not got anything better to do with your time Miss Granger than pour your life into books," he asked sardonically. "Perhaps you should take up a hobby?"

She snarled him for his unnecessary sarcasm.

"Actually sir," she said with a wicked smirk, "I'm certainly going to have a _little hobby_ in a short while to keep me busy, so I won't be _pouring my life into books_ as you so eloquently stated." She gestured almost unnoticeably to her diminutive bump and his eyes widened in alarm before turning them to his other two students to see if they had noticed her bold gesticulation. As was customary for the two boys, they were oblivious.

Silence descended upon the room and it was Harry who intervened first.

"Come on 'Mione," he said diplomatically as he grabbed her hand gently to break the dangerous eye contact between her furious self and the fractious Snape. "I'm sure Professor Snape's got work to be getting on with, so let's go and pick up some lunch. We can eat it by the lake perhaps? Enjoy the most of the winter's sun."

Hermione was having none of her friend's attempt to divert her attentions, and was instead still engaging in stern eye contact with the dark wizard.

"Yes Granger," Snape hissed, "run along with Potter. I've got things to be getting on with."

Hermione's nostrils flared warning him of her temperament and deteriorating patience.

"Professor," she said again flatly, "I would like to speak with you about my _essay_; it is important."

"And _I said_ that I do not have the time to entertain your silly discrepancies and futile discussions."

"Boys," she said turning impatiently to her friends who were observing the conflict from the safety of a few feet's distance, "could you go and pick me something to eat up from the Great Hall please whilst I stay and discuss my work with the Professor."

"Erm 'Mione," Ron said glancing up at Snape whose eyes were wide with fury and fists clenched angrily at his sides, "I don't think that Professor Snape_ wants_ to speak to you right now. I'm sure he will later on when he has more time on his hands."

"Is that so?" Hermione asked insubordinately, turning to Snape. "Will you agree to speak another time, Professor?

"Indeed," he said reluctantly, feeling no choice but to reply due to the presence of the two other Gryffindors. "It would be unprofessional of me if I did not comply with your every unnecessary whim."

She scowled him for his words.

"I shall owl you when I have decided when would be best to discuss your essay then Miss Granger."

"But you do understand that I need _feedback _as soon as possible, Professor," she persisted earning her a fierce snarl.

"As usual Miss Granger your eagerness disturbs me."

"See," Harry said, pulling her away from Snape and towards the door. "I told you he'd speak to you. He's not _too _unreasonable!"

"Congratulations on your guess work Potter," Snape hissed. "Now get out of my classroom before I strip your wretched little house of the few points that it still possesses!"

"Grumpy git," Ron mumbled as he took Hermione's other disinclined hand and led her out of the dark, dingy room.

… … …

"Geesh 'Mione," Ron said at dinner time, his mouth full of partially chewed food as he spoke, "what happened with you and Snape before? I've never seen you be so rebellious, it was bloody brilliant."

"Nothing happened between '_me and_ _Snape',_" she replied flatly, her eyes remaining set upon the mug of steaming hot chocolate between her palms. "I just wanted him to read my essay."

"But you were so angry," Harry stated. "You looked as though you wanted to hex his balls off and use them for Christmas decorations next year!"

Ginny giggled from beside her boyfriend but at the same time casting Hermione an apologetic glance for both he and her brother's questioning.

"He just frustrates me so much," Hermione went on doggedly, feeling somehow as if Snape had gotten the better of her, although she couldn't say exactly why. "Why does he have to be so sarcastic and derisive all the time?"

"-Because," interrupted a stern voice from behind her shoulder, "_he_ has to deal with dudderheads all day long who blow up cauldrons, and know-it-alls who ply him incessantly with inane questions."

"Professor," Harry said nervously, turning to face the man stood beside him, "erm, Hermione wasn't talking about you, she was talking about-"

"-Harry's dad!" Ron interjected quickly as he saw his friend struggling to think of a plausible lie.

"You are a terrible liar Mr Weasley," Snape drawled impatiently. "I hardly think that James Potter is in any way derisive to his son's favourite friend. Where is that arrogant little worm anyway?"

"You mean my dad?" Harry asked.

"Yes Potter. Who else would I be talking about?"

Harry smiled up at Snape for his unfaltering stern expression.

"He's up in the Pennines at the moment," Harry informed. "He's taken one of his _'lady friends' _to a cottage in the hills I think for a weekend of hiking, holidaying and hump-"

"-I think that's quite enough Potter," interjected Snape before the younger man could finish. "Anyway Miss Granger," he said, turning his attentions back to Hermione who was still seething and staring into her steaming mug, "I came to tell you that if you wish to speak about your essay I shall be available at eight this evening."

"Fine," she said petulantly, earning her a snarl from Ron who was fearing even more of a depletion in Gryffindor's already low house points.

"Eight o'clock," Snape repeated emphatically before he turned to stalk up to the head table for his own dinner. "My office, do not be late."

As he strode away Hermione huffed in annoyance. "Ginny," she snapped. "Have you got a spare piece of parchment and a quill that I could use?"

"Yeah," the red headed witch responded as she searched through her bustling pockets for the required items. "What do you want them for?"

Hermione did not answer and instead took the articles of her with a brief nod of appreciation, before dipping the quill into an ink pot and scrawling a few short words on the parchment…_"No. My room. 7'clock. Don't you be late."_

She folded the paper up neatly and passed it to a second year Hufflepuff who was passing by their table on his way up to his own house and friends.

"Miles," she said, capturing the boy's attention. "Pass that up to Professor Snape and tell him that I expect him to comply."

The boy nodded and trotted up to the Head Table.

"You sent him a note!" Ginny whispered into Hermione's ear. "Don't you think that's a bit obvious?"

"Something needs to be done Ginny," Hermione replied, her eyes never meeting the green of Ginny's and otherwise focussed upon Snape as he tore open the letter. "He's not relenting and it's up to me to up my game plan a little if I want to make this work."

Her tones were hushed and the others surrounding them were completely oblivious to the clandestine conversation.

Hermione wafted away any of Ginny's attempts to reply as she looked up at Severus who was glaring at her. She sent him an expression that read; "well?"

He nodded in reply to her mute question.

"Oh my god," Ginny exclaimed. "What's happening?"

"You need to be out of our rooms tonight," Hermione stated. "He's coming around to talk."

"Can't I stay?" Ginny teased. "I've always wondered what Snape would look like in his full naked glory. I reckon he's a dark horse and got some great body."

"Actually he has," smirked Hermione, "but no you can't stay and even if you did you wouldn't see that because we're only talking."

"Sure you are," Ginny said with a cheeky wink. "Sure."


	26. Discussions

**Chapter Twenty Six: Discussions**

As he reached the portrait of the Head Girl and her best friend's room, Severus pulled his wand from the inside pocket of his robes and removed the complex invisibility spell that he had used to ensure that no other member of the faculty saw him on his journey to this part of the castle. He paused momentarily on the threshold of the room, before muttering a universal password that staff had been provided with at the beginning of the year and watching the portrait of Sir Isaac Newton swing open, revealing a small yet cosy sitting room that played host to a dancing fire.

He stepped tentatively into the warmth of the room, fleetingly basking in the welcome flames that heated the room, before he scanned the room for any sign of life.

"Oh gods," exclaimed a familiar yet unusual voice and Severus turned to face the intruder who was stood in the doorway of what looked like a bedroom. "Professor, you're early."

Severus' lips thinned into a tight line as he inwardly scolded himself for removing the invisibility spell a little too prematurely.

"Indeed _Miss Weasley_," Severus responded as politely as he could when taking into consideration that he felt like a teenage boy caught with his pants down.

"Erm, Hermione's still in the bath. She said you weren't coming until seven and I was supposed to leave, but, err, I didn't know and err…" she trailed off into her own babblings and Snape looked upon her with amused eyes.

"You're babbling Miss Weasley," he stated dryly as he held up an authoritative hand for her to cease such an action. "Although the awkwardness of the situation somewhat warrants you to do so."

Ginny laughed nervously at his statement. "What I meant to say," she corrected more assuredly, "is that 'Mione is still in the bath and wasn't expecting you until seven; by which time I would have been out with Harry."

Snape nodded shortly in understanding. "Of course," he said. "It is not your fault for this discomfiture and it is fair to say that the blame falls solely on my shoulders for arriving too early."

Her lit up with surprise at his honesty.

"Would you like a cup of tea or something whilst you wait for her?" she asked nervously, not knowing what on earth one was to do or offer when in the company of a Professor outside of school hours.

Once again Severus' face portrayed amusement at her unease as he took a seat on the sofa affront of the welcoming fire.

"I will decline your offer Miss Weasley, for I am sure that Miss Granger will positively faint with alarm if she emerges from her bath to find me sat here with a mug of tea in my hands and having a cosy chat with her best friend."

Ginny smiled warmly and took up a seat beside him; as she did so he regarded her with immense curiosity.

"I trust you are aware of mine and Miss Granger's situation?" he asked after a moment of awkward silence and observation.

Ginny simply nodded in reply, not trusting herself to keep her reply concise and coherent if she were to verbalise it.

"And I also trust therefore, as a friend of Miss Granger's, that you will be able to keep your knowledge to yourself?"

"Of course," Ginny replied. "I wouldn't do or say anything that could give the game away."

"That is good to hear."

"One thing though," Ginny said bluntly. "You are going to stick by her aren't you?"

"I don't really think that's any of your business Miss Weasley," he replied with more coldness than he had shown since his arrival.

"Well it is really," she persisted, "because as you said, I am a great friend of Hermione and she means more to me than anything in the world. I don't want to see her hurt."

Severus nodded in concurrence but still, although empathising with the young girl's feelings, did not feel the need to elaborate or answer her question.

"I just want to know that you aren't going to leave her on her own with a baby and no prospects."

"What sort of a man do you think I am Miss Weasley?" Severus asked boldly.

"Well I don't know sir," she responded sincerely, "because the only knowledge of you that I have is as a result of my observations as you as a Professor, not as the man you are with my friend."

"I will not abandon Miss Granger," he stated resolutely and with no attempts to further his statement.

"Good," Ginny said as she stared thoughtfully into the fire, "because she does love you you know."

"She does?" Severus asked, once again inwardly reprimanding himself for his overly curious tones.

"Yes."

"Ginny!" called a muffled voice from behind the confines of the bathroom door before Severus could inquire about Hermione's supposed love for him even further. "Have you seen my bathrobe? I was sure I put it in here but I can't find it!"

"It's in your bedroom 'Mione," Ginny called back, her attentions averting from Snape and to the bathroom door which was closed tightly.

"Would you get it for me please?" Hermione responded. "Severus will be here soon and I don't want to give him the wrong impression by being half naked when he arrives."

Ginny turned back to Snape who was playing with the cuff of his shirt and trying to stifle the blush that was rising in his cheeks.

"Actually Professor," Ginny said mischievously in quiet tones so that they wouldn't reach the bathroom, "Harry will be waiting for me and I'm already late."

Severus looked towards her with an impassive expression. "And?"

"So I don't suppose you'll be able to pass her bathrobe into her? After all," Ginny added as she slipped on her scarf and gloves, "we don't want her catching a cold now do we?"

Severus snarled her fiercely for her meddling.

"I'll see you tomorrow in Potions sir," she finished with a broad smile as she opened the portrait to leave. "Be good."

"Ten points from Gryffindor for your effrontery Miss Weasley!" he called, but the young witch was already too far out of earshot to care.

"Ginny!" Hermione shrieked once more from the bathroom. "Did you hear me?"

Severus grinned at her impatience as he stepped to retrieve her robe from her bedroom and returned shortly to the closed bathroom door. It took him a moment or two to gather his strength and composure before he pushed the door gently open.

As he stepped quietly inside with the sleuth and slink that only a spy such as he could entertain, his eyes fell upon her in the far corner of the room, wrapping a towel around her sopping hair and bending over the bathtub to pull the plug and drain the water. He crept up slowly behind her and wrapped two strong arms around her waist, pulling her close to him and caring not for her dampness contaminating his attire.

"Severus?" she said, finally turning to face him.

In answer to her exclamation he lowered his lips to her neck and began kissing the soft, damp skin just below her ear. She cocked her head to one side, allowing him further access and brought her hand to the nape of his neck so that she could entwine her fingers in his hair.

"I'm sorry," he whispered into her ear as he finally ceased his ministrations (much to her dismay.)

She turned fully on the spot so that she was facing him and relaxed into his embrace. "I think that I should probably apologise also," she admitted with a soft sigh. "I shouldn't have pressured you into talking about it."

"No," he said softly, "you have very right to know what happened."

"If you don't want to tell me-"

She was cut short as he placed a long finger on her lips to cease their movement and therefore her sentence.

"Come on," he said, "if we're going to discuss this then I don't want to do it in a bathroom." He gestured to their surroundings with a gentle smile and a quirking of eyebrows.

She led him by the hand out of the bathroom and through the door next to it, into a lightly decorated bedroom. The door shut behind her and she guided him to the linen clad bed where they were soon laying, her head rested atop of his slowly rising chest.

"I missed doing this when you left," he stated, as he ran his finger methodically through her naturally drying hair. "We used to spend hours upon hours just lying in bed talking about everything and anything."

"I used to think you got bored of doing that," Hermione replied, her eyes cast upwards towards the ceiling in thought.

"Not at all," he corrected forcefully, "those days were the best I can remember spending with you."

She smiled heartily at his admission and her thoughts drifted to the times she had spent with the younger Severus in their combined Head Boy and Girl rooms.

"I never meant to hurt you Hermione," Severus said, breaking her pleasant ruminations of what was.

Her stomach dropped by what seemed a few feet and she swallowed nervously as the subject tentatively moved onto his relationship with Lily, and all sots of terrible conjectures danced around her mind.

Still, despite her saddening emotions and the lump forming in her throat, she managed to inquire: "I know that, I just don't understand why it happened?"

"Because I was lonely and I just wanted to feel some of the care that you had shown me. When you left, she became as much as a friend as you been in the beginning and things developed into something that even _we _didn't understand at the time."

"But Lily," Hermione furthered, "she loved James, why would she do that do him?"

"After you left and we graduated, Hermione," he informed with regret, "James began his training for the Magical Research and Curse Breaking department of the ministry and was often away in Egypt for several months at a time. Lily and I were both extremely lonely and we compensated for our heartbreak in each other."

Despite her inner protests to the sympathy she was feeling for both Lily and Severus, the pieces of the puzzle of why their relationship had developed, fell into place.

"It went on for a couple of years," he continued, feeling a weight lift gradually off his shoulders, "and I will not lie to you by saying that I never began to fall for her. It was not love Hermione," he added quickly but still convincingly, "I felt nothing compared to how I felt about you, but I will admit that we shared something more than lust."

Hermione nodded in acceptance, her head still rested on his chest and her fingers nervously fiddling with the buttons of his outer robe as the story continued.

"A year into our affair," he furthered with a sigh, "Lily fell pregnant."

"And how did you know that Harry wasn't yours and not James'?" Hermione asked boldly, interrupting for the first time since the conversation's beginning.

"I didn't," he admitted. "That notion was perhaps not completely out of the realm of possibility, but it was not very likely."

"How so? Severus you were sleeping with her as much as James was."

"I know that Hermione," he said flatly, his patience wearying a little as her questions intensified along with the accusation in her voice. "And for nine months both I and Lily entertained the idea that he was my child."

"But?"

"But," he repeated, "from the moment the child was born he looked nothing like I and was instead a doppelganger of James and Lily. He was the perfect cross of his parents."

"Still," Hermione persisted, "that does not mean that he is definitely not yours."

"Be honest Hermione," Severus asked sternly, "even you can't deny the relation between James and the boy."

"No," she concurred, "I can't."

"After he was born," Severus maintained, in a tone that was not dissimilar to that when he was lecturing in class, "Lily and I decided that it was best for both us and them if we ceased of affiliation."

"But James caught you on the night Lily was killed!"

Hermione heard him swallow deeply at her mention of her death.

"Indeed," he said after a moment of composure. "Lily and I failed to comply with the agreement that had been set into place after the birth of Potter."

"So if James left her because he knew about your affair, why is it that you are now the best of friends? If there's anything I do know it is that James Potter is not so fickle."

"James and I became very close after you left Hermione; just as close as you and Lily were or you and Miss Weasley now are."

Hermione snorted in disbelief. "If I caught you and _Miss Weasley_ in such a precarious position," she informed incredulously, "I would most definitely not forgive her no matter how close we are now."

"Until something like that actually occurs you cannot say that is so."

Hermione thought about this for a moment, but still couldn't fathom being able to remain friends with somebody who could deceive her in such a way.

"It took years for James to forgive me fully, but after her death," he stumbled a little on this word and Hermione could almost sense the pain that was surging through his body, "James and I reconciled to accept the fact that we were friends and needed one another in such a painful time."

"Well he's a braver person that I," Hermione expressed earnestly. "I am not so easily forgiving."

"And maybe that is his downfall," Severus pondered, "but that is just he way he is and such a decision has led to the current state of affairs."

"Current state of affairs?" she mimicked incredulously.

"Well yes," he returned, "you and I, and also my position as spy."

"You still haven't told me about your _position_ Severus," Hermione informed accusatorily.

"I know that and I will in time."

"Can't you just tell me," she asked, lifting herself up onto her elbow and looking intensely down to him as he rested his head more firmly against the pillow. She did not attempt to keep the scorn out of her voice; her affiliation with him had taught her that some well placed irony could be a useful tool when attempting to draw information out of someone.

"When Harry was born, James made me make an unbreakable vow to prove my loyalty to both him and the Order. As an extended result, my position within the Dark Lord's ranks is not as precarious as you are used to believing, and infact without me the he cannot win this war."

Hermione raised an inquiring eyebrow. _Had things really changed that much since her departure?_

"Hermione, I have seen Dumbledore's pensive and therefore how life was before you changed it. Before you left I was a double spy working on both sides but with no real loyalties to either. As the Headmaster has already told you, he did not trust me enough to let my work for the Order continue, and to ensure himself of my fidelity he laid a plan to send you back in time."

"I will not go into monotonous details about what you changed and why such alterations differed to Albus' expectations, but I will tell you _what _they changed."

Hermione nodded for him to continue.

"In the world you knew, both Lily and James gave their lives to protect their son, therefore binding their love to him and providing him with a shield against The Dark Lord. But, as you altered the past and the future changed as a result, James did not lose his life on that night and Harry was not provided with the same shield."

"But Harry lived. The only reason he did was because Lily and James gave their lives." Not for the first time in his explanations, Hermione found herself relatively confused.

"I was still in the house when he came Hermione," Severus said, his voice faltering as he recalled these events. "I saw it all and it was me who provided that final piece of shield for Potter."

"You?" she asked in alarm as she stared into his watery eyes.

"Yes."

"Then without you Harry wouldn't be here."

"No he wouldn't. As long as I am alive, Hermione," he informed as he wiped his eyes subtly, "Harry Potter cannot die."


	27. Preparations

**Chapter Twenty Seven: Preparations**

She looked upon him wide eyed, his statement ruminating over and over in her mind until the words finally embedded themselves into her brain.

"Don't look at me like that Hermione," he said, observing her expression with some scrutiny and as if trying to understand what she was thinking just by the contours of her face.

"I just can't believe it," she replied eventually. "So much has changed just because of us."

"And so much more _will_ change my love," he informed softly, taking her head between his hands and kissing her amorously. "Hermione things are better now and it's all thanks to you."

"But what if I changed too much?" she asked concernedly and recoiling from his grasp. "What if things were better for the rest of the word the way that they were?"

He looked upon her with incredulity and seemingly reading her unspoken thoughts with such acumen that it was to her incomprehensible.

"Feel this," he said, grasping her much smaller hand into the confines of his larger and placing atop of her small bump, "feel this and tell me that things could have been better."

She looked down towards their clasped hands and the area of her stomach that they covered. Of course she would never change things back to how they were and if she had the chance, but still she couldn't help but feel a little egocentric for her own happiness if that meant sorrow and dismay for others. Her meddling with the past had brought her Severus and a child, both of which she wouldn't have been able to obtain without such an adventure, but still, as would most in her situation, she still had her doubts.

"Are you sure that you want this though Severus?" she asked, bringing herself out her inward musings. "I don't want you to feel obliged to be apart of our lives when you have so much going on in your life already."

"Obliged," he repeated, his tones suggesting hurt that she could even entertain such a notion. "Hermione I want this baby more than I have ever wanted anything in my life and I will not let you suppose otherwise."

"But what about when it all comes out, when I start to show and when people question your Professionalism due to you affiliation with me?" These were only a few of the questions plaguing her mind but the most important that she had chose to verbalise them.

"When you begin to show more obviously," he replied as if pre-thought had already gone into such a answer, "we will be able to conceal it with our wands. When it all comes out," he continued, "you will have graduated and The Dark Lord will have been destroyed. And as for my Professionalism, I couldn't give a Hippogriff's backside if people question it; you are of age and the mother of my child; people will have no right to question our relationship."

She observed him whilst he continued to calm her qualms, watching the sincerity play out about his face and the honestly that his eyes bode as he spoke his words of reassurance. It was not often that she saw him in such a neutral demeanour and his face so calm and gentle as he addressed her, thus it was not so much his words that were soothing her uncertainties but rather this exceptional expression of his.

…"Hermione I love you and no man or woman, witch or wizard will ever doubt that fact once I can show the world that you are mine," he finished.

She couldn't believe her ears; this was the first time that he had declared love for her since her arrival home and the first ever time that words of such adoration had escaped his elder lips.

"Come here," he said, filing the silence where her reply should fall.

She obeyed his gentle command and snuggled into his body pulling the covers over them both and lying in his arms, not caring that it was not yet even nine pm and they were settling down for the evening.

They were spooning; her back pressed up against his front, his arms around her waist and his head nestled into her hair so that his nose was pressing gently into her cheek. Both of them sported huge smiles as they revelled in the other's warm embrace and neither wanted the night to end and the morning light to come.

"Are you staying the night?" Hermione whispered back to him.

"Would you like it if I did?" he responded, allowing his hands to fall to her stomach and rest gently upon her bump whilst imagining the small child that lay sleeping beneath the very tips of his fingers.

"I'd like nothing more, but you do know Ginny will be back soon."

"That's fine," he whispered into her ear, placing a soft kiss on her cheek as he did so. "Miss Weasley is fully aware of our relationship and thus the only issue with my staying is that I might frighten her half to death in the morning."

Hermione smiled at the thought of Ginny walking in on him in the shower. '_Actually,' _she thought, contradicting herself, '_she was curious about Severus' body earlier on and seeing him in the shower might just teach her to keep her inquisitiveness at bay in future!'_

"Severus," Hermione whispered just as he was drifting off too sleep.

"Mmm," came his throaty reply.

"I love you."

* * *

They were awoken the next morning by a thin beam of sunlight that had mischievously found its way through a small gap in the long drapes that otherwise fully covered her window. The February air was as bitter as ever and Hermione snuggled into Severus even more to share his warmth.

"Don't you be falling back to sleep Miss Granger," Severus warned teasingly as he cast a brief glance to the alarm clock at the side of her bed. "We have to be in the Great Hall soon."

"I wouldn't dream of it Mr Snape," she replied, her eyes still sleep ridden and unable to open fully.

"And why is that?"

"Because," she expressed humorously whilst rolling atop of him and placing a passionate kiss on his welcoming lips, "we have half an hour before breakfast and therefore plenty of time to make the most of."

"_Half an hour?"_ he repeated with a broad smile, immediately recognising her innuendo. "My dear I think you are getting me muddled up with the boy you used to know, for the man can prolong his lady's pleasure for as long as she so wishes."

She smiled down on him sultrily and entwined her fingers in his sleep-tousled locks. "Is that so Professor Snape?"

"Indeed Miss Granger. Do you wish to test my hypothesis for extra credit?" He let his expression fall into one she was accustomed to seeing whist in class and she smirked at him for his surprising use of role play.

She responded shortly by lowering her lips to his and beginning their experiment with such passion and fever that he groaned wildly into her mouth after mere seconds.

Before long, the blankets, along with all of their clothes, had been discarded to a myriad of different places around the room and she was soon perching herself tantalisingly at the very tip of him balancing her weight on her knees.

"Ten points from Gryffindor for being such a tease Miss Granger," he snapped, grabbing her hips and sliding her down onto him. She threw her head back in delight and began her fast steady movements to which he groaned loudly in reply. Their pace quickened and their movements intensified until they both began to feel the beginning of orgasm.

"Severus!" she cried loudly between inaudible moans and groans.

He smiled as she screamed his name, rotating his hips to heighten her pleasure and vary their movements.

"Ah fuck!" he repeated over and over, his hands grasping at her breasts as she bounced atop of him wildly, not faltering in force or pace as the voyage drew on and closer to an explosive end.

The door flew open and the thunderous cry of: "What the fuck!" caused the romping pair to stop abruptly. Severus lifted Hermione off him with lightening speed and quickly used anything that he could find to cover both her and him up as he looked towards the intruder whose eyes were wild with fury and rage behind their frames.

"Harry!" Hermione exclaimed, her voice filled with guilt and alarm as she pulled Severus' shirt around her.

"What the fuck is going on?" he bellowed, his arms crossed tightly and a scowl eerily reminiscent of one of Severus' creasing his forehead. "Tell me!" He roared after only a second or so of silence.

"Potter I suggest you calm yourself dow-"

"-Calm myself down!" Harry interjected wildly. "I come in to ask 'Mione if she wanted a cup of tea and find her bouncing on top of our Potion's Professor! How the fuck else to you expect me to react."

Angrily Severus slipped his hand down the side of the bed in search for his boxers and once he had found them he pulled them on to cover his modesty. He flung himself out of bed and crossed the distance between the bed and Harry.

"I suggest you keep your profanities to yourself Potter," Severus stated firmly as he towered over the younger wizard, his eyes alight with a fury to match Harry's.

Showing no fear Harry glared up back up at Snape.

"I asked you what was going on!" he snapped again, his green eyes wandering between Snape and Hermione. "Tell me!" He roared.

"Harry does she want a cup of tea?" Ginny called through the open bedroom door from the sitting room.

Nobody from the bedroom replied and instead the two men stayed squared up, their eyes locked in silent combat and their bodies stiff with anger.

"Harry!" Ginny called again, but this time the voice was nearer. "Oh!" She exclaimed as she stepped into the bedroom.

"Oh!" Harry repeated. "You see Snape and Hermione half naked together and you say: 'oh'?" His voice was riddled with angry scepticism as he looked upon his girlfriend angrily. "Oh tell me you didn't know about this?" Harry accused, his anger forcing itself upon the young red-headed witch who seemingly couldn't keep her eyes of her Professor who stood primarily naked before her.

"Ginny!" he reprimanded sharply. "Answer me!"

"I…erm…"

Severus stepped between Harry and Ginny, not caring too much for his state of undress. "Potter I suggest you take your domestic elsewhere," he said sardonically.

Once again Harry turned towards Snape but this time his hand was clasped around the handle of his wand.

"You wouldn't dare Potter," Severus laughed humourlessly. "What would Daddy say?"

"What will my Dad say when he finds out that you've been fucking a minor hey? Harry retorted bitterly. "You're our Professor and my Godfather!"

"And being your Godfather means that I cannot have sexual relations?"Severus asked derisively.

"But she's my friend!" Harry responded loudly. "That's why you can't! It's like me sleeping with your daughter!"

"Harry calm down," Ginny chided, placing a reassuring hand on his arm which he promtly shrugged off.

"No I won't calm down!"

"Potter if you do not I shall be forced to do something which I may later regret," Severus warned. "My relationship with Miss Granger has nothing to do with you and that is how it shall remain for the foreseeable future."

Harry 'harrumphed' loudly at his statement. "Will you just tell me what's going on Hermione!" he snapped impatiently, turning to his friend who had now joined them standing up in the centre of the room with nothing but Severus' white dress shirt to cover her modestly.

"Harry, Severus and I are together," she informed matter-of-factly.

"Well I could bloody see that for my self!" he replied with a disgusted look of remembrance.

"No," she corrected. "We are together as in a couple or a relationship."

"Don't be absurd," Harry snorted disbelievingly. "He's old enough to be your Father. What on earth would you want to be with him for when you could have any wizard you wanted?"

"I _have _got the wizard I want," she reprimanded. "Harry I love him and we are together. I'm sorry but you just can't change that."

"It can't be serious Hermione," Harry suggested. "Yeah," he added with a knowing shake of the head, "it's just a crazy phase that you're going through."

Hermione opened her shirt, still keeping the major parts of her body covered but revealing her protruding stomach.

"I'm pregnant Harry," Hermione informed. "And Severus is the father."


	28. Adaptions

**Chapter Twenty Eight: Adaptations**

Harry's eyes suddenly flooded with even more anger and confusion as he let them alternate between his Professor and his best friend. Ginny, in an attempt to keep the inevitable confrontations to a minimum, placed a soft hand on Harry's arm and an arm of her own around his waist.

"Come on Harry," she said diplomatically, "let's go and make a nice cup of tea and sit down and discuss this like adults. There's no need for this aggressive behaviour."

Uncompromisingly, and in a manner which Hermione had never seen him direct towards his girlfriend before, Harry pushed her away from him belligerently and she stumbled backwards into Snape who caught her and set her back on her feet.

"What is it with people and cups of bloody tea!" he snapped. "The bottom of a mug will not show us a logical reason for why Hermione sleeping with _him_." The last word of his sentence was practically spat out.

"Harry," Hermione responded firmly, "calm down."

"Indeed Potter," Severus concurred astutely, "listen to your friend and girlfriend and calm yourself."

"Nobody asked you to get involved Snivilus," Harry spat dangerously, "infact, what are you still doing here anyway?"

Severus approached Harry wildly, his body tense and his face furrowed in his anger. Hermione and Ginny could only stand back and watch as he neared the younger man.

Swiftly, Snape placed both of his hands on the younger man's shoulders and rammed him up against the wall of the bedroom, his nose almost touching Harry's face in his close proximity. Harry for the first time that morning, looked positively petrified as he tried, without success, to push his Professor off him.

"What are you going to do Snape?" Harry mocked, his tones however boding none of their previous confidence. "Hex me?"

"No Potter," Snape drawled menacingly, bringing his mouth very close to the younger man's ear and eliciting tones that portrayed his dark anger, "I will not give you the satisfaction of having me fired. Instead," he enunciated smoothly, "I will tell you something that you will do well not to forget."

From behind them, Hermione and Ginny shot nervous glances at one another as they couldn't hear a word that their Professor was saying.

Severus tightened his grip on the younger man's shoulders before he continued the verbal assault that was rousing such a great fear into the green eyes of Harry Potter. "If you care for your friend as much as you believe that you do," he began calmly, "then you will surely be able to see her happiness."

"_You _can't make her happy Snape," Harry warned. "You aren't right for her."

"But Potter, we both agree that Miss Granger is far more of an intellectual than yourself and if _she_ believes that I am the right wizard for her then your petty reservations are not plausible."

"You're far too old for her Snape, you could be her _Father_!" Harry was clutching at straws and deep down he knew it.

"No," Severus reprimanded with a humourless smile, "I am the Father of _her child._"

"And you'll be fired for that very reason!" Harry returned, his mind wandering to the thought of Dumbledore's reaction.

Once again Severus smiled at the young man's ignorance.

"The Headmaster has already given us his blessing on the matter Potter. So I suggest that you come to terms with the facts that you are faced with or run the risk of losing your best friend."

Harry's eyes widened in anger once more at his lack of power and again he attempted to wriggle out of Snape's grasp with as much failure as before.

"Come July Potter, and once she has graduated, Hermione will be my wife and the Mother of my child thus you will have no choice but to accept our relationship."

"Will you just get the hell off me!" Harry snapped.

Snape released Harry from his grasp and took a step back from the younger man who promptly pushed past him towards his friend.

"Get dressed Hermione!" Harry ordered aggressively. "You have got some serious explaining to do!"

… … …

They had been walking for just over an hour, two lessons had been skipped and still Harry was not fully accustomed to the thought of his best friend and Professor/Godfather together. She had explained everything from her journey to the past and their confrontation when she returned, even the conception of their unborn baby had been brusquely touched upon, but her friend's lack of acceptance had not faltered as yet.

"I love him Harry," Hermione stated clearly for what felt like the umpteenth time that morning.

"It's just _lust_ Hermione," he reprimanded, pulling his cloak tighter around him as the February wind cut at his face and neck. "This whole relationship thing is new to you and you are in love with the way you feel _not him_."

"Oh I'm sick and tired of you telling me how I feel!" Hermione said sharply, stopping dead in her tracks and turning to face him. "Why have you always got to have a say about whom I date and who I spend my time with? First it was Victor when you said he was far too old and using me, then it was Ron when you said that it wouldn't work because of our friendship and now it's Severus."

"Stop calling him that!"

"I was a complete and utter dudderhead to listen to you in the past but I won't make the same mistake again. Severus and I are together and I'm carrying his child, whether you allow your petulant little self to get over that fact is up to you, but I will **not** give up the best thing that's ever happened to me for your sake!"

Harry suddenly fell silent and all of the previous anger and resentment fell from his face. "I don't mean to interfere, Hermione," he sighed, "I just want to look out for you."

She smiled at his faltering resilience. "I know you mean well, but I'm a big girl Harry and you've got to let me learn from any mistakes that I may or may not make."

"Snape could be a huge mistake though Hermione and that is why I am so reluctant to give you both my blessing."

"Believe me," she admitted as they carried on walking up towards the castle as lunch time approached, "I know the risks involved with this."

"It's not just that he's too old for you," Harry explained sincerely, "and it's not because that he's _Snape_, because you know that I admire him and all he does for the Order," he added, "but I'm just scared of what Voldemort will do to you both when he finds out."

"We aren't going to tell anybody until after the war."

"And who says that this war will be over before you've had the b…" he drowned out and gestured to her stomach.

"The _baby_," she corrected with a smile for his awkwardness.

"Yes that."

"Severus has told me that it'll be over by then," Hermione answered finally. "I don't know why or how he knows that but I trust him. So should you."

"I'd trust him with my life Hermione," Harry replied, "so it's not a case of ill faith and more my uncertainty of his influence over Voldemort."

"I suggest that you speak to Severus about that Harry," Hermione responded as they rounded the corner of the main entrance. "I don't fully understand it myself."

"I don't think that I'll be speaking to '_Severus' _any time soon after my performance earlier," he admitted with remembrance of his prior outrage and insubordination towards his Professor. "And seeing him in his full naked glory has sort of put me off looking at him straight in the face."

Hermione giggled and slapped her friend playfully on the arm for his comment.

"Friends?" he asked with an outstretched hand which she promptly shook.

"Always. Now come on _Potty_," she joked, "I think we'd better retrieve Ron from his lunch and explain the situation. It seems that all of his closest friends and family know about Severus and I, but he doesn't."

"Are you sure?" Harry asked. "I mean he might just fly off the handle."

"Only if you show him a pensive of what you saw," Hermione joked.

Harry suddenly turned green as the memory flooded back to him. "If you want to make him suicidal then yeah, great idea, we'll show him the memory that I wish never to surface again!"


	29. Hospital Visitations

Chapter Twenty Nine: Hospital Visitations

Ron had reacted as melodramatically as they'd expected and Hermione, Harry, Dumbledore and Snape had been sat around his bed side waiting for him to wake so that they could explain the situation further, for almost three hours. From outside the main doors of the infirmary, they could clearly hear the roars and groans that were emanating from the crowd of Slytherin and Gryffindor Quidditch fans who were up in the stadium supporting their respected teams.

"It sounds as if my Slytherins are flying rings around your pathetic little house," Severus stated smugly as he listened out for any sign of the commentator's mention of a score, "pardon the pun," he added after Dumbledore shook his head at his mention of rings.

"I suggest that you quickly cease referring to my house in such a way Severus," Hermione chided seriously, "because you can't go around slating your own son or daughter's house; it would not bode well with either of us."

Severus frowned profusely before laughing humourlessly. "Don't be absurd," he replied, "no child of mine will be an abject Gryffindor; Snapes are Slytherins through and through."

"Actually Severus," Dumbledore countered, "I can see Hermione's Gryffindor attributes outweighing your own Slytherin ones. After all, it is she who is carrying the child and that tends to be the trend when it comes to house choices."

Once again Severus huffed loudly to express his displeasure at the thought. "Of course she's carrying the child," he agreed with an air of sarcasm, "but how do you bloody think that it came to be in the first place. Spontaneous conception?"

Harry laughed despite himself and Snape sent him a snarl for his action, but now it was Poppy Pomfrey's turn to add to the discussion as she examined Ron.

"Albus don't frighten the poor boy to death," she reprimanded. "Severus and Hermione's child could be a Hufflepuff for all we know at this stage."

Now everybody in the room shot her a glance which read disgust; even Dumbledore who Hermione had previously thought had held no prejudices.

"My godchild will _not_ be a Hufflepuff," Harry stated firmly.

"Your _what_, Potter?" Snape asked humorously. "Oh please, you can't possibly think that I'd put my child in your care?"

"So you wouldn't put your kid in the hands of the chosen one?" Harry asked self righteously but not at all arrogantly.

Hermione giggled. "Let's not get our knickers in a twist now boys," she said before Severus could retort, her eyes averting between her two favourite males, "I'm only four months gone thank you very much and I haven't even thought about buying it a cot yet, never mind picking Godparents."

"Four months?" Pomfrey repeated, her hand shooting wildly from Ron's forehead and up in the air. "My dear girl you are four months pregnant already?"

"Err yeah," Hermione replied incredulously. "Headmaster, did you not tell Madam Pomfrey the _whole _story?"

"Oh yes I did indeed," he answered unconcernedly, "Poppy knows all about the time-turner and your adventure."

"Yes of course I know all about it, but still I did not realise when the conception actually took place. So early on?"

Both Hermione and Severus blushed.

"Spare me the details," Harry groaned loudly before one of them could reply, "otherwise you'll have to set me up another sick bed like Ron's."

"I think that you should come with me then Miss Granger," Poppy suggested, ignoring Harry's comment, "we have tests to run."

"Can Severus come with me?" Hermione asked, gesturing to Snape who had already stood to follow.

"Of course my dear."

… … …

"So there's its head," Poppy informed as she used her wand to project and image of the baby onto the far wall of the cubicle, "and there are its little arms. What do you think then Severus?"

"Remarkable," he said pensively through hazy eyes. "Absolutely remarkable."

"Oh come on my boy," Poppy sighed exasperatedly, "you're not looking at one of your little potions experiments now; this is your daughter."

"My…my what?" he asked disbelievingly.

"Your daughter; you're both going to have a little girl."

Severus turned to Hermione and uncharacteristically brought her into an excited embrace. "I love you," he whispered into her ear as they held one another.

"I love you too," she whispered back, "daddy."

He eventually pulled away form her and shot her a rare but exquisite smile.

"Poppy," he said once his smile had faded, "I need a list of potions that I can brew to ensure the retention of the utmost possible health for both Hermione and my daughter."

The medi-witch smiled at the man's protectiveness. "Severus there is no need for any sort of potions," she explained, placing a reassuring hand on his shoulder as he sat beside Hermione's bed and held her hand tightly. "Just make sure that she rests often and that she doesn't over do it with school work."

"Of course," he said. "Hermione I shall be immediately informing your other Professor's that you should not be issued with homework or any other project that could tire you, and I will be ensuring that either Potter or Weasley carry your bag for you at all times."

"Severus I am not an invalid."

"No, but you are pregnant and carrying my daughter so you will do as I instruct."

"Well don't you think it'll be a little odd if you go around ordering Professors not to give the girl-who-lives-for-homework homework?"

"Ah yes good point," he mused. "Actually scrap that, I'll do your homework for you and you may claim it as your own from now on."

"I can't do that!" she protested.

"You can and you will," he ordered as softly as he could. "Hermione it is important that you look after yourself."

"Yes," she concurred, "but looking after myself and cutting myself off from the rest of the world are two completely different things."

Snape frowned but before he could reply the curtains opened and a still pale Ron stepped tentatively inside.

"Sorry for freaking out," he said with furrowed eyebrows that reflected his awkwardness of having to address Snape. "Madam Pomfrey's given me a calming draught so we can have a chat without me fainting again."

"It was actually a rather amusing sight to see you faint Mr Weasley," Snape said with a smug smile, "so perhaps we could ask Poppy to give you the _antidote_ for the drought and then have a _detailed _conversation about my relationship with Miss Granger whilst you are positively erratic. It was the greatest free entertainment that I've ever witnessed!"

Hermione slapped Severus hard on the arm for his mocking and Ron winced, half expecting Snape to retaliate with a deduction of house points; to his surprise however he merely smiled at her.

"Please ignore the irritating man whom I will soon call the father of my child Ron," Hermione said humorously.

If not for the calming drought, Hermione's mention of the baby would have presumably caused Ron to faint yet again, but still, he remained upright on his feet although becoming the owner of a queasy expression.

"On a serious note Mr Weasley," Severus said in stern _'Professor tones'_ "I will be expecting you to carry Hermione's bags for her on the way to and from lessons and meal times. She is not to be left alone at any point and you are to accompany her everywhere."

"Even to the bath?" Ron asked with a cheeky smile as he tested the dark wizard's temper.

Snape's nostrils flared angrily, but he kept his cool and did not retaliate as he normally would to such a remark; he did not want to do anything to distress Hermione.

"There are of course, limitations to what Severus is saying Ronald," Hermione said in reply. "And I am quite capable of doing _certain_ things alone."

Snape turned to Ron with a sardonic smile and addressed Hermione. "Some things you'll need _my specific help_ for my love, such as bedtim-"

"Ah!" interrupted the jolly giant voice of Albus as he joint the threesome, "and how is baby Snape doing then, according to Poppy's tests and examinations?"

"She's just fine thank you Professor," Hermione returned with a proud smile.

"Ah so we'll have a little _girl _on our hands then in a few months. My, my," he mused, "a female Snape. It's been quite a while."

"And Severus is already playing the protective Father," Hermione joked.

"No boyfriends until she's thirty?" Dumbledore asked humorously.

"Forty," Snape replied, his faced fixed in his seriousness.

"You're kidding right?" Ron asked. "She's going to be bloody gorgeous if she looks anything like our 'Mione, you'll have trouble keeping boys away from her I can tell you that!"

"Believe me Mr Weasley," Severus retorted, "no matter how beautiful my daughter will or won't be and even if it means I have to lock her in her room until she's forty, I will not let a wizard near her unless I specifically consent to it."

"Oh Severus," Albus chortled, "for someone so cold and distant the majority of the time, that is one profound expression of love."

Severus frowned. "Oh do be quiet old man!" he snapped.


	30. Dark Revelations

**A.N:** Sorry about the delay...been super busy with work but the pace shall resume from now forth!!

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**Chapter Thirty: Dark Revelations**

Hermione was awoken in the middle of the night by the loud yet inaudible voice of Harry Potter and the _thump, thump, thump_ of his fist on her bedroom door. Groaning loudly, she wrapped her robe around herself to cover her nightdress and pulled the door slightly ajar to cease the boy's loud ministrations.

"What on earth do you want?" she asked, yawning and wiping her sleep ridden eyes.

"You've got to come with me Hermione!" he ordered hysterically.

She turned from him and back to the alarm clock that sat on her bedside table; "not at half past three in the morning I don't!"

"Hermione!" he cried impatiently, "just come with me will you!"

"Not until you tell me why on earth you would want me to go wandering through the bitterly cold and dark halls of Hogwarts with you like a pair of unruly first years!" She was tired and impatient. She had no time for foolish games.

"It's Snape," Harry sighed reluctantly, "he's been hurt."

Hermione did not need any more of an explanation and quickly grabbed her wand from beneath her pillow before sprinting down to the dungeons, Harry not far behind.

"He's in a bad way 'Mione," the spectacled boy warned regretfully as they reached the door of their Professor's quarters. "I was out with Dumbledore in Hogsmede when he apparated to us and we had to carry him back. He was unconscious and he'd lost far too much blood."

Hermione stiffened in fear. "He'll be okay though Harry?" she asked as she waited for the wards to lower upon their arrival. "He'll survive?"

Harry looked nervously to his feet.

"Harry?"

"I'm sorry 'Mione," he replied just as the door slid open, "but I don't think he'll make it."

Before a cry could escape her lips in response, Hermione shot through the opening door and into his bedroom where three prominent figures were stood over Severus' bed, shielding him from her view.

It was McGonagall who approached her first, Dumbledore too busy waving his wand over the limp body that lay atop of the bed and Pomfrey at his side administering a series of odd coloured potions. The older woman placed a reassuring arm around Hermione's quaking shoulders and pulled her close.

"You need to be strong for him Hermione," she instructed, her rich Scottish accent faltering somewhat in her upset and distress.

"I don't know what I'll do without him Professor," the younger woman sobbed gently, "I can't bring the baby up on my own."

"It may not come to that my dear," McGonagall soothed gently, "Severus is a strong man and he's been through much worse."

"What happened to him Professor?" Hermione asked as she caught glimpsed of Severus' bruised and blooded face.

"I'm afraid that it was the Dark Lord whom inflicted such pain and suffering onto our young man," she returned, the tears welling up in her hazel eyes. "It seems that he was not too happy about the occurrence of your pregnancy."

Once more Hermione broke down. "It's all my fault."

"No 'Mione it's not," Harry insisted firmly, stepping out form his observation point on the far wall and hugging Hermione from her other side. "None of this is your fault and if anybody other than Voldemort is to blame for this then it is Snape himself. If he wasn't in such a bad way right now, I'd curse him myself for being so god damn selfish!"

"Erm Mr Potter I don't think that you are helping the situation," McGonagall reprimanded.

From the unfaltering look of outrage about Harry's face, he did not seem overly dejected by the deputy headmistresses chiding and opened his mouth swiftly to retort almost straight away.

"Well excuse me Professor McGonagall," he said in false politeness, "but I highly doubt that blaming _Hermione _for this is helping very much either!"

"Mr Potter I was not suggesting-"

"-Snape," Harry interjected forcefully without a care for sounding as though he was ranting, "would not be in this position if he had not joined Voldemort in the first place! The moment he found out that Hermione was carrying his child he should have turned his back on the dark and focussed on his family! This is his fault and if he dies, and god forbid his soul if he does and leaves my best friend with a new born baby to care for on her own!"

"Harry we all know that Severus could never turn his back on Tom," Dumbledore interrupted sternly, his back still facing the trio of onlookers and his hands still projecting a series of charms over the still unconscious man on the bed.

"Yes he could!" Harry snapped.

"And he would be hunted down and killed for doing so!" The Headmaster returned angrily and with an uncharacteristic air of impatience. "I do not believe that Tom intended for Severus to die tonight for he believes our Potions Master to be a key player in this war; by '_turning his back'_ as you so suggest Harry," he added despondently, "he would not have survived like he will do now!"

"He'll be okay?" Hermione asked quickly before Harry could continue, her eyes unable to focus on Severus' blackened body for too long as the sight caused blinding tears to well up in their corners, obstructing her view.

"He has a moderate case of internal bleeding, three broken ribs, severe bruising both internally and externally and a broken nose," Albus Dumbledore reeled off. "He is a very lucky man Hermione."

"What Albus is trying to say," Pomfrey elaborated after administering the final potion and pulling the covers over Severus' body, "is that Severus is still in a very bad way and with exceedingly serious injuries. For another man such injuries would have been fatal, but Severus is such a strong wizard that his body is able to deal with much more pain than most. He will return to normal in a week or so in terms of physical injury but it may be months before he will return to a normal frame of mind."

"What do you mean?" Harry inquired. "Is he brain damaged?"

"No Mr Potter," Poppy responded with a sigh of relief, "he is fortunately _not_ brain damaged, but he has suffered an incredible amount of torture and pain that you and I can scarcely imagine. As such, I presume that he will not be willing to return to normal life any time soon."

"Hermione I think it best that you stay here with young Severus for the remainder of the night," Dumbledore suggested, his mind fleeting to the thought of him waking up alone after such a night of torture. "He'll need you to ensure that he is kept warm and comfortable until he regains consciousness and when he does so I expect you to contact me."

Hermione nodded in understanding, her eyes falling on the man who she loved lying still on the bed, two black rings around his eyes, his nose swollen and blooded (despite Poppy's attempts to clean him up) and his lower lip split in the centre.

"Do not look so frightened Miss Granger," Dumbledore consoled. "He has a family to stay strong for and so I believe that he will make a full recovery."

Once again Hermione nodded, not trusting her voice not to crack if she dared speak.

"Can I stay to keep Hermione company?" Harry asked, his concern lying with his heartbroken friend rather than the physically broken man.

"No Harry, I think it's best if Hermione and Severus are left alone. Perhaps you could write to your Father for me and explain the situation. I am sure that he will wish to return from Egypt immediately to see his friend."

"Yeah he will," Harry replied, his thoughts wandering briefly to how his Dad was doing in Africa. "I'll go and do that now. Hermione," he said turning to his friend who had tucked herself up in bed beside Snape, despite the audience, "will you be okay?"

"I've got all I need right here with me Harry," she returned, wrapping her arms around Severus' still form. "We'll be fine."

… … …

Hermione hadn't slept one wink that night. She'd been watching him intensely from the second Dumbledore, Pomfrey, McGonagall and Harry had left the room and similarly left Severus in her care. He hadn't stirred much, but the occasional groans and moans that were emanating from him, despite being a little worrying, calmed her nerves a little as they proved that he was at least still alive.

For a brief moment earlier that night when he had been in much more of a critical position, a hypothetical life without him in it flashed before her eyes and scared her to the point that she could barely stand. It was strange for her to find herself feeling so despondent and distressed about a man who just under a year before meant nothing to her. But now, they were together, their futures set to collide and a little baby on the way; it truly was a strange notion.

A muffled groaning from beside her brought her thoughts back to the present and she turned to face Severus who was struggling to catch his breath. Gently, she sat him upright and handed him a glass of water which he took with as much vigour as a man lost in the desert.

"Here," she said settling him back down onto his pillow and bringing the covers up over him, "don't strain yourself my love you've had a tough night."

"I…I…" His voice trailed off as his throat clearly dried before he could finish.

"Shh," she cooed, "just focus on getting yourself better, don't try and force it."

Clearly from his agitated shake of the head Severus was not up for 'taking it easy.' He was not a man who so easily relinquished his control.

"I…need…"

"What do you need? Oh Severus I do wish you would stop trying to speak, you're only going to do yourself more harm than good; I'm sure it can wait until this evening."

Once again he shook his head in fiercely in an attempt to regain some autonomy over his condition.

"I need to get back to class," he croaked eventually and with some distress as he tried to swing his legs out of bed and stand. As foreseen by Hermione, he wobbled without conviction on his feet before falling back onto the bed from which he had just emerged; he swore in annoyance as his bottom hit the mattress once more.

"Don't be absurd!" Hermione exclaimed. "You can barely stand you silly man!"

He scowled her menacingly.

"Professor Dumbledore flooed earlier on and informed me that he will be covering your classes for the foreseeable future; you are under strict orders not to leave this room."

"Whose orders?" he scoffed. "I am my own man and I will do as I please."

"You are _my_ man and you will do as I bloody well say Severus Snape!"

His mouth fell open in alarm. He was not used to having someone act so, well, _caring, _and he wasn't sure if he liked it.


	31. Decisions

Chapter Thirty One: Decisions

She'd been visiting him ever day since the 'accident' that had caused him to almost lose his life, and his condition was slowly improving and his strength positively gathering. He was so well now that he even found the energy to mark papers and send berating owls to students who had foolishly deemed him to ill to be the subject of his usual callous approach to teaching.

"About time," he snapped impatiently as she entered with his daily pile of third year essays. "Do you have any idea how infuriating it is being kept prisoner in your own home?"

"Oh do stop exaggerating Severus," Hermione chided with very little concern for his over zealous qualms, "you know this is for your own good."

He snorted and gestured to the pale blue protective bubble that surrounded his bed with a snarl.

Hermione smiled. "If you hadn't tried to escape every time our backs were turned then I wouldn't have had to use magic as a means of containing you."

"Ah!" he cried smugly, "so you _admit_ that you are holding me against my will?"

As she approached his bed and sat down beside him, Hermione let out an exasperated sigh of annoyance. "You do want to be around for our baby, don't you Severus?" Accusation was ever present in her tones.

He eyed her with a bemused form of incredulity for a brief moment before replying: "Of course I do you silly witch, what sort of a father do you take me for?"

"With no disrespect Severus, I don't think you've quite grasped the implications of your actions last month. It is simply not safe for you to go off wandering when you are neither resorted to full health nor in a position of great stature with Voldemort at the present."

A shadow fell upon Severus' face as he thought back to that torturous night where he had been beaten to almost an inch of his life. Maybe Hermione was right. Maybe it wasn't safe for him to leave his rooms. Maybe he_ would_ be wise to let the dust settle before returning.

"If the Dark Lord had found out about our relationship from any body other than I," he justified, more for his own state of mind than hers, "you and I would not be sat here having this conversation."

"What do you mean?"

"_I mean_ that my honesty is the only reason why you are still alive."

Hermione paled and Severus brought her into a reassuring embrace. As always, she settled comfortably into his chest and he let the steady beating of his heart comfort her rather than the gentle tones of his voice. Sometimes silence was the best option.

"He would never have got to you Hermione," he whispered gently into the top of her hair. "I would never let anybody hurt you, you do know that?"

She nodded in agreement, her eyes still closed in contemplation and her head resting still against his chest.

"I know I don't say it enough but I do care about you."

She smiled and lifted her head up from its resting place so that she could kiss him softly.

He felt a little awkward as her eyes met his and she looked upon him with such a devotion and admiration that it sent a rush of excitement through him.

"I love you Severus," she whispered and then paused to wait for a reply. He merely nodded in response, but for Hermione, that was enough."

… … …

"Miss Granger!" Severus roared from behind his desk, the pain in his lower abdomen doing nothing for his temper.

In alarm, Hermione looked up at the man she regularly shared a bed with and found that he was not the man she loved and was instead back in full sardonic professor mode.

"Yes sir," she replied through gritted teeth, his angry tones testing her patience to the point that she felt her anger brimming up to the very tip of her throat.

"Please remind both myself and your classmates as to _whom _the qualified Professor is in this classroom."

"Well, you sir," she replied incredulously, her hands still chopping away at a thread of asparagus whilst her eyes focused upon his dark foreboding form. "_What a stupid question,"_ she voiced inwardly.

"So why_, pray tell_, are you helping Longbottom withthepreparation work that _he _should be doing?" His voice was wandering dangerously into modes fury as he pushed himself from his seat with an audible wince of and stalked his way from the front of the room to her and Neville's work bench. His mouth was set into a thin line and his brows were so furrowed so severely that Hermione wondered if they would disappear completely into the pit of his dark, dangerous eyes.

"I just thought that with you still being_ ill_ sir, that I'd save you the hassle of dealing with Neville's myriad of questions."

He was clearly furious but to Hermione's surprise Severus, or otherwise Professor Snape, as he should be referred as in such a situation, did not banish her from his classroom after several minutes of petrifying bellowing and insults like he ought to in his current mood, but instead led his eyes avert from her to Neville, that latter of whom was positively quaking with fear under the dark wizards gaze. Every single person in the classroom looked on with wide eyes as they waiting for the unsurprising explosion that was expected for Hermione's actions and her response. It did not come.

"Are you my_ mother_ Miss Granger?" Snape hissed after an extended moment of locked eyes.

"N…no sir," she stuttered, fear getting the best of her as his eyes continued to burn with unrelenting fury.

"Well then, are you my sister?"

"N…no sir."

His eyebrows furrowed even further.

"Are you my _wife_?" he hissed this question with such a venom that Harry and Ron even contemplated intervening for the sake of their teary eyed friend who was subject to Snape's unruly antagonism, no matter how many detentions they earned.

"Sever…" Hermione whispered almost inaudibly in an attempt to make him impede as the tears began to fall uncontrollably.

-"_**Are you my wife**__!"_ he barked again, wildly interrupting her protests and seemingly caring not for her upset.

She shook her head despondently.

"Well then, what right do you think you have to make a decision about the state of my health! Who the hell do you think you are!"

"It is clear to me that you are still struggling with your injury sir," Hermione explained meekly, her Gryffindor courage momentarily abandoning her. "I was just trying to help."

"Help!" he repeated in a roar. "You have no idea do you, you stupid little girl!"

"Oh just get out!" he bellowed as he slammed his hands on her desk. "Get _out_!

Hermione shot him a distressed glance with her watery eyes before gathering up her belongings and heading out of the room, her head hung low.

"Weasley!" Snape growled suddenly, causing the red headed wizard to jump a foot out of his chair.

"Y…yes sir?"

"Go and carry Miss Granger's bags to the place that she so chooses to sulk."

Ron huffed loudly. "You've just berated her like that and now you want me to carry her bags? Why the bloody hell do you suddenly care?"

Only he, Snape and Harry knew the answer to that question and the rest of the potions class looked positively bemused as to why the cold hearted professor would care if the insufferable-know-it-all struggled with her heavy bags.

"Just do it boy!" Severus roared as he impatiently launched a textbook across the room, narrowly missing Neville's head.

Reluctantly Ron complied and gathered up his own belongings before heading flowing in Hermione's wake and leaving the room. Nobody dared even _breathe_ out of line for the remainder of that lesson.

… … …

"What is it _Potter_?" Severus snapped, his eyes not leaving the papers that he was marking as the younger man took an uninvited seat opposite him at his desk. "I'm a little busy as you can see?"

"There's berating people for appearances sake and then there's treating people like utter shite Snape and I will not tolerate you taking the latter approach with my best friend."

"How very gallant of you Potter," Snape drawled, boredom riddling his tones. "But I think you've forgotten your place boy."

"No," Harry growled, this change in demeanour causing Snape to look up for the first time, "I think _you _have Severus."

"How dare-"

"-don't even say how dare I," Harry interjected. "How dare _you, _you hypocritical bastard! She's carrying your baby and you treat her like that in front of her friends."

"She is my student Potter," Severus corrected, "the fact that she is carrying my child is an extra that needs not be taken into consideration in my classroom. I do not need to justify myself to you boy," he added, "so why don't you run along and play with your little friends now?"

"And why don't _you_ put your dummy back in!"

Severus' dark black eyes suddenly filled with an unrelenting anger.

"There are boundaries that even you cannot understand Potter!" he growled, slamming his hands down upon the heavy desk before him despite the pain that shot through him as a result.

"Well explain them to me," Harry said more calmly. "Severus you are my Godfather and if that wasn't enough you are the boyfriend, for want of a better word, of my best friend. I need to know what's going on in that head of yours."

"Well you should have focussed more in your Occulemcy and Legilimens lessons last year, because they were you're only hope of finding anything out about my personal life." His tone was sardonic and his face fixed into one mammoth mess of sarcasm.

"If you don't tell me then I'll just have to get my Dad to come and have a little heart to heart with you?" There was a glint in Harry's eyes and Severus didn't like it very much.

"You wouldn't dare?"

"Try me," Harry smirked.

"Fine!" Severus spat. "But not here."


	32. Implications of Actions

**Chapter Thirty Two: Implications of Actions**

Harry took the offered glass of Firewhiskey and sat opposite his Godfather on the armchair twin to his own. He waited patiently for the older man to speak and open up as to why he reacted so vehemently towards the woman carrying his baby and Harry's best friend, and as he knew that Severus was not an overly sociable man Harry did not force the conversation.

"What are you looking at me like that for?" Snape asked eventually and after an awkward moment of silence.

Harry smiled at the older man's paranoia and replied: "I thought I'd give you the chance to explain yourself before I go into an over zealous rant about how you've been a complete and utter arse to Hermione."

Although taken aback by Harry's abruptness Severus was indeed allured by his sense of protection over the woman whom they both loved in different ways; this caused him to reply when he ought not to. "As you are already aware Potter," he began finally after practicing his explanation in his head before actually letting the words pass his lips, "the Dark Lord is aware of mine and Miss Granger's relationship."

"_Hermione,"_ Harry corrected scornfully, "she's your girlfriend Severus not your student."

"That is an inane thing to interrupt me for Potter so if you want me to _explain myself_ as it were, then I suggest you keep your over energetic mouth closed for the foreseeable future."

Silence descended as Harry took note of this instruction and Severus seized upon the calm in order to compose himself before continuing.

"There is an unwritten law within the Dark Side that we are not allowed to harm the spouse of any member of the Dark Lord's ranks unless the person in question has been found to have betrayed us."

Harry nodded although still not sure where the conversation was leading.

"As favourite of the Dark Lord, despite being somewhat punished for my involvement with Miss…_Hermione_," he corrected, "he spoke to me alone and instructed that I either leave her or thus leave him. Clearly for the sake of both my own sanity and the Order, I desire neither option."

"But surely you can pretend to have left Hermione," Harry suggested, "its not as if many people know about you two anyway."

Severus sighed a long hearty sigh which Harry read as a: _"no that is not true."_

"Who knows Severus?" Harry asked.

"Most in the Slytherin house who's parents are involved with the Dark Lord."

"But why haven't they spread the gossip? Surely information of a student/teacher relationship should have spread like wild fire?"

"You would imagine so yes," Snape concurred, "but those who know are under strict orders not to tell anybody about Hermione and me. To do so, according to The Dark Lord, would cause unnecessary attention to myself and thus my position as spy. He does not want me to lose my job here."

"And he believes that Dumbledore is completely ignorant to your relationship with Hermione?"

"Indeed."

"But Severus," Harry explained, "surely you cannot just abandon Hermione merely to maintain a cover."

"That's exactly what I plan to do, _hence my performance today."_

Harry's mouth fell ajar in alarm. "You can't do that to her Severus! She'd fall apart if you left her."

"And what other choice do I have?" Severus spat as he swallowed another glass of Firewhiskey.

"Leave," Harry stated bluntly. "Take Hermione and leave."

The darker wizard laughed humourlessly in his chair and looked incredulously upon Harry with his black eyes flaming angrily.

"The war will be over by the end of the school year," Harry persisted before Severus had a chance to chide him for his previous suggestion of fleeing, "I need you to stay alive anyway and this way if you leave you will definitely be alive by the time I fight."

"So I run away like a coward merely so you cannot die?"

"Well yes," Harry said honestly, "Severus without you I _can _die at his hands; the moment your heart stops beating mine will cease shortly also. I need you."

"I will not flee Potter, not for you not for anyone."

"What about for Hermione? Or for your daughter?"

Severus' scowl fell suddenly from his face as he contemplated a life without his girls if he were to chose to stay.

"You can't stay Severus," Harry informed. "If you stay you will lose everything you love."

"And if I flee?" he asked in return. "What then Potter? What if you don't win this war and I can never return?"

"If you flee Severus I am sure to have your protection. If you live, I cannot die. I will beat him if you leave."

"I need to talk to the Headmaster about this," Severus stated resolutely as he stood from his chair and stepped into the fireplace to floo. "Go and tell Hermione to pack everything she needs for the next four months. I shan't be long."


	33. Forced Departures

**Chapter Thirty Three: Forced Departures**

"Ah Severus," Albus greeted in a musing way that only he could, "what can I do for you?"

"I've come, despite my deepest regret for my need to do so, to seek your advice?" He did not like other people making any sort of decisions for him but this one was so important and influential to the war that he deemed it necessary to relay his thoughts onto the Headmaster with regard to his sudden predicament.

"Advice?" Albus repeated, unsure of whether his old ears were deceiving him.

"Yes, yes," Severus snapped shortly as he took a seat opposite the Headmaster, "no need to revel in my vulnerabilities."

Albus pursed his lips to stifle a threatening smile that would surely infuriate his Potions Master furthers should it escape and appear upon his lips. It did please him to see the younger man so _humanistic _for a change; clearly even he had qualms that needed the help of others in order to be resolved.

"You seem troubled my boy," Dumbledore said objectively as he ran one long fingered hand through the tangled white hairs of his beard. "Is everything okay?"

"No," Severus sighed in return, an extensive shadow falling upon his contrastingly pale face, "I'm afraid it is not."

Albus waved an energetic hand for him to continue.

"Since I informed you of my plan to push Miss Granger away in order to maintain my position within the Dark Side, I have hit a theoretical barrier of sorts. It seems that I cannot so easily deter her affections or even mine for that matter."

"Thus…" Albus probed.

"_Thus,_ I am forced to accept the other option and leave."

To Severus' alarm Albus did not retort with some form of protest or even concurrence for that matter, and instead his face remained calm and unreadable.

"Is this a wise decision do you think?" Severus asked after realising that his friend was somewhat lost in deep thought and too preoccupied to actually reply.

"Mmm," he mused finally in response, "wise on what level?"

"Generally you batty old man," Severus snapped, his patience wearing thin as he waited for a conclusive answer to his question. "Is it the right thing to do, do you think?"

"You have never asked for my advice before now Severus," Albus said bluntly with very little intonation in his voice, "so why now?"

"Because I am not just deciding for me anymore; there are three people to consider."

"Ah, you are referring to Miss Granger and your child."

"Indeed."

"Well have you spoken to her about the possibility of a _forced departure _from Hogwarts?"

"Potter has gone up to Gryffindor tower to explain the situation that we unfortunately find ourselves trapped within and I have requested that she pack a bag should you agree that a departure is indeed the best option for all."

"It is not my decision to make Severus but I can however give you my thoughts on both of your options."

"Please do."

"Well to stay would be the _typical_ thing for you to do and to flee I know, would be seen as cowardice in your eyes. But, as you have already highlighted, you cannot so easily push aside your feelings for Hermione and you can't pretend that she isn't carrying your child. Overall, you have a life, a job and a purpose here at Hogwarts but you also have a family to put first now."

"And if I were to flee? What would become of the state of this war?"

Albus sighed despondently at the thought of months without his _son_ and friend at his side.

"I would not have a spy and Voldemort would subsequently left without a connection to the Order; all communication would be lost and that could complicate things even further. But I think however," he continued thoughtfully, "that if you were to leave, Harry's chances of defeating Tom would increase due to the increased likelihood of your survival. Without you Severus, Harry can and will be beaten."

He paused for a brief moment so that Severus could contemplate the points he had made and gave him enough time to let them ruminate in his mind.

"It's simply a case of six of one and half a dozen of another. The choice is yours to be made."

"I want to stay and fight like any respectable wizard would," Severus admitted, "but on the same level I want to care for my family in the way that a responsible Father should."

"And what do you care more for: you position as a spy or your role as a father and partner?"

"Being a Father," Severus sighed. "I want to make this work Albus. I love her more than I ever imagine any man could."

"Well then leave," Albus stated. "Take Hermione and go to a place high up in the mountains where even birds do not fly for fear of such a place's remoteness. When the time comes for battle I will find you so that you can take your earned position by my side. We will win this so that you never have to turn your back on your life again."

He thrust his hand forward for Albus to shake. The older man however refused and instead with teary eyes pulled him into a tight embrace that spoke the words he could not verbalise. Severus returned his hug with such ferocity that also expressed his own love that was too great to put into words.

"Go on," Albus said tearfully as he wiped his eyes and pushed Severus away. "Best get going before night fall."

Severus smiled. "Albus," he said gently just before he left the room, "thank you."

"For what?" he returned, his voice croaky and clearly holding all of his emotion.

"Just being there."


	34. The Beginning of the End

**Just an epilogue to go now...if you've liked this then check out my other fiction "Professio Fines Finium" please :D

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Chapter Thirty Four: The Beginning of the End

"Yes Severus I've packed _everything_ but I need you to calm yourself down and explain what's going on? Is something the matter? Are you hurt?"

Severus did not reply and instead carried on frantically throwing everything he could find into a magically enlarged trunk that would shrink during its transportation to uppermost level of the wintry Scottish hills. He didn't have time to answer her questions as he knew that they had to leave Hogwarts before night fall when Voldemort would call him as he usually did on a Thursday evening.

"Severus!" Hermione persisted, his attempts to use silence as a deterrent clearly not affecting her. "I'm not going anywhere with you before I know where and why you've asked me to leave."

"_._," he returned in monosyllabic tones as he threw as many books as possible into the trunk, which despite being bigger than most, still was almost full to the brim.

"Yes but why!"

"Because I had the choice to either stay and fight or run away and I chose the latter."

"Run away?" She looked positively incredulous at this notion. "Severus, since when have you ever _ran _from anything? You're a fighter so why suddenly become a coward?"

His face darkened and for the first time that evening and since her arrival, Severus' frantic movements ceased and he revolved slowly on the spot to face her; she meanwhile instantly regretted her choice of words.

"If protecting you from The Dark Lord and death makes me a coward," he hissed vehemently, "then that is a title I will obligingly accept."

Hermione couldn't help but smile to express her delight at his chivalrous attitude but really saw no plausible need for such behaviour. "As much as I appreciate the gesture Severus, I am safe here at Hogwarts. I've got the two most powerful wizards in the world looking after me and Harry and Ron too."

"No Hermione," he snapped impatiently, "the most _powerful_ wizard in the world is going to kill you if we continue our affiliation and I will not stand by and wait for that to happen."

"So we flee and live in the shadows until the war is over? Come on," she added dramatically, "don't be so absurd."

He bode towards her menacingly, his dark eyes flaming with an untamed anger that scared Hermione to the point that she back away quickly from his approach. "I don't think you quite understand this," Severus hissed as he pinned her up against the wall and ripped open the buttons on the left arm of his dress shirt, revealing a deep, dark scar that formed the ominous markings of the Dark Mark. "He's been calling me since morning and inflicting an incomprehensible about of pain merely via this little mark. I had to have made my decision my tonight Hermione and now he wants to know where my loyalties lie."

"And where do they?" she asked timidly, his body still pressed up against hers, trapping her against the wall. "Because right now I don't want to leave with this constantly angry man you sometimes become. You're so like them sometimes; like Malfoy or Lestra-"

"-Angry?" he roared, interjecting her. "Wouldn't _you_ be _angry_ if you we're risking your life to save that of another and they threw it right back in your face by questioning instead of complying? We need to leave before he realises that I've gone and intercepts our journey. Do you want to be held responsible for my death?"

"Of course not!"

"Well then do as you're told and just listen to me for once!"

Hermione's eyes filled with unshed tears and upon observing these Severus loosened his grasp and pulled her into a soft embrace.

"I do not mean to scare you my love," he whispered, his tone so unbelievably different to that of just mere seconds ago. "I just want to make sure that you're safe and the only way I can ensure this perennial security is by taking you away from this mess. You do want to come with me?"

"I do, I really do. I just want to know that you won't ever show me this dark side to you again."

"I shall try not to but I really must stress the necessity to leave as soon as possible."

"Can I say goodbye to the boys?"

"I don't think so. But you may write to them once we are settled in our new home."

Hermione smiled despite the sadness and anticipation of loneliness that swept over her; she would miss her friends dearly but at least she still had Severus.

"Don't look so worried Hermione," Severus said gently, pulling her back into the warm embrace from which she had just moments before been released. "I will take care of you, I promise."

"As will I take care of you," she returned wholeheartedly.

"It is a husband's job to take care of his wife my love, not the other way around."

Hermione looked upon him with shear bewilderment.

"What?" he asked innocently. "You didn't think that I'd let you live with me under the name of anything but Mrs Snape did you?"

"I cannot promise you that this will be easy Hermione," he continued before she could release a squeal of delight, "for it will not. I also cannot promise you that our marriage will be all sunshine and roses, because life's just not like that. But what I can promise," he furthered with a reassuring smile, "is that I will love you always and that I will do everything in my power to ensure your safety and happiness. Always."


	35. PART TWO NOW UPREAD FOR MORE DETAILS

PART TWO OF THIS PIECE IS UP NOW: DIVERCUS VICIS II

Please Rate and Review and sorry for the delay


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